- Joined
- Oct 18, 2018
- Messages
- 1,605
Hey all,
We really need an article on how to follow up a flake
I think most of us are familiar with Chase's article on "what to do when girls flake". And I believe it is good advice, but there is one key ingredient missing and that's about how to follow up on flakes. In the article the girl Chase mentions is extremely apologetic, but lot's of times there are also girls who try to act like nothing happened. If you don't call her out, it just gets "forgotten", which ofcourse is not true, but convenient for the girls narrative. This makes it like comparing oranges to apples. Because at this point it feels like it's damned if you do and damned if you don't. For this reason the article becomes confusing for a lot of guys. I have read some comments across the board but they are quite varied and spread out, which prevents it to be a cohorent entity.
Suppose:
You arranged a date, girl agrees to it: then flakes out.
*If you act like it's not a big deal it's fine and dandy: BUT you can kiss your scarcity goodbye. There is a big risk in being friendzoned, or put unto the backburner, because you give the girl an opportunity to postpone. In the past I even had this happen with girls who seemed very interested, but because they avoided commiting since they do not like risks and maybe they hope for some kind of mythical white prince around the corner : they postponed. Ofcourse when I next them, they fly into a rage. Yeah, that's how it tends to go. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. The only option seems to be if we put it in context with Chase's advice, staying warm but maybe less available? I believe however the longer things get drawn out the more they fizzle out.
*If you reschedule fast, again you kill your value and officially become chasing guy. If you don't reschedule the girl will probably try to get some attention and you effectively move backwards, which again is bad.
*Acting butthurt: Lowers your value and attainability, good luck with giving someone a good validation boost and shooting yourself in the foot.
I think I have summarized this as best as I can. I would really love to see an article which gives some good tactical advice about how to follow this up. Because right now my default is moving on to the next girl, unless the flaking girl REALLY tries to make up again. But even then, I can be too impatient, I don't enjoy "long game". Whatever the hell that means.
I feel this is a sticking point for many and deserves to be adressed.
We really need an article on how to follow up a flake
I think most of us are familiar with Chase's article on "what to do when girls flake". And I believe it is good advice, but there is one key ingredient missing and that's about how to follow up on flakes. In the article the girl Chase mentions is extremely apologetic, but lot's of times there are also girls who try to act like nothing happened. If you don't call her out, it just gets "forgotten", which ofcourse is not true, but convenient for the girls narrative. This makes it like comparing oranges to apples. Because at this point it feels like it's damned if you do and damned if you don't. For this reason the article becomes confusing for a lot of guys. I have read some comments across the board but they are quite varied and spread out, which prevents it to be a cohorent entity.
Suppose:
You arranged a date, girl agrees to it: then flakes out.
*If you act like it's not a big deal it's fine and dandy: BUT you can kiss your scarcity goodbye. There is a big risk in being friendzoned, or put unto the backburner, because you give the girl an opportunity to postpone. In the past I even had this happen with girls who seemed very interested, but because they avoided commiting since they do not like risks and maybe they hope for some kind of mythical white prince around the corner : they postponed. Ofcourse when I next them, they fly into a rage. Yeah, that's how it tends to go. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. The only option seems to be if we put it in context with Chase's advice, staying warm but maybe less available? I believe however the longer things get drawn out the more they fizzle out.
*If you reschedule fast, again you kill your value and officially become chasing guy. If you don't reschedule the girl will probably try to get some attention and you effectively move backwards, which again is bad.
*Acting butthurt: Lowers your value and attainability, good luck with giving someone a good validation boost and shooting yourself in the foot.
I think I have summarized this as best as I can. I would really love to see an article which gives some good tactical advice about how to follow this up. Because right now my default is moving on to the next girl, unless the flaking girl REALLY tries to make up again. But even then, I can be too impatient, I don't enjoy "long game". Whatever the hell that means.
I feel this is a sticking point for many and deserves to be adressed.