Hey guys,
I've compiled a reading list of self-improvement books for you guys. None of these except for Mate are directly related to meeting women (although a few are about relationships), but all of them will help you gain self-insight, which will in turn increase confidence, increase understanding of what your own needs are and who you are etc. which in turn will help you become a more grounded, empathic, assertive, wealthy, intelligent person. All of these items are directly relevant to your ability to meet women.
1. Mate by Tucker Max and Geoffrey- I've recommended this one on here before. It's my goto for helping guys learn how to become an attractive man. There are many ways to skin a cat, and many books out there which help with this endgoal. I believe this one is different because it's written not only by guys who have "made it" so to speak (i.e. they're already very successful with women in their own right), but it also has more empirical evidence than anything I've ever seen. Moreover, one of the authors has done a lot of research himself. So it's unlikely that it will be misinterpreted or misrepresented. Here is their free podcast: http://thematinggrounds.com/
2. Attached The New Science of Adult Attachment by Levine and Heller- We all have different ways of relating to our partners and different needs based on our early childhood experiences. Attachment theory is one fairly simple way of conceptualizing these needs. Broadly speaking, it will accurately explain why your past relationships have gone the way they have, and what you can do to find new relationships which will be more happy and more fulfilling. This book has blown everyone to whom I've recommended it to's mind. Most all of them see their past relationships in a whole new light after reading this book (including myself). This book is also very well researched. About 30 years of research goes into it. Here's a short video which briefly explains the concept: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s9ACDMcpjA
3. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown- Most of you have probably heard of this. If you haven't, watch her Ted Talk. Brene Brown explains why vulnerability is key to connecting with other people. Weather that be friends, lovers, family etc. There's no way around it. Unfortunately, our culture (especially as it pertains to men and masculinity) not only fails to teach us how to be vulnerable, but it also shames it as "weak" "being a pussy" etc. I can't really do this book justice in one paragraph. Watch her Ted Talk here: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_o ... anguage=en
4. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg- If you're one of those people who struggles to build or stick to habits you would like to have (including going out and meeting women!), I recommend this book to you. It breaks down why you've failed in the past, and what you can do to make future attempts more successful. In some ways, this book is foundational to self-improvement. Because if you can't get off your ass and take action, you'll never change. This one is also very well researched.
5. Passionate Marriage by David Snarch- The title is a little deceiving. This book is actually about sex in the context of long-term relationships. And a lot of it applies to short-term relationships and even hookups. Basically...it teaches how to have good sex and by extension, happy relationships. The author posits that the two are intimately related to one another. Good sex is an expression of a great relationship. Bad sex is an expression of a shitty relationship. Lots of research to back this one up too. It is slightly clinical in nature. Many of the stories will be about couples therapy. But I promise it's interesting and relevant to you.
6. Male Sexuality- Why women don't understand it, and men don't either by Rowman and Littlefield - The title says it all!
7. The Clitoral Truth by Chalker- If you want a better understanding of female sexuality, look no further than this short book (maybe skip the first 60 pages or so. It's all anatomy of the clitoris).
8. Meditation for Dummies by Bodian- I know it sounds really childish. But I was actually pleasantly surprised. It gives a fairly in-depth look at meditation. What is it? Why you should practice it? Possible roadblocks along the way etc. If mindfulness interests you, I would definitely pick this one up.
9. Nonviolent Communication by Rosenburg- I would recommend pretty much everyone read this book. Most of the ways we attempt to resolve conflict are actually unhelpful because the way we communicate fails to get our needs across (i.e. what we're trying to get out of this discussion/argument), but it also hurts the other person and by extension, your relationship with them in the process. This book will teach you how to state your needs to the other person in a way such that they will understand them and they'll actually have a desire to fulfill them. It's useful in all contexts. Weather that be business, outings with friends, dates, girlfriends/relationships, family, even the way you interact with yourself (your internal dialogue).
10. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnagie- Most of you have probably heard of this one before. This is a great book for learning how to interact with others such that they will enjoy your presence, they will follow you, women will be attracted to you etc.
Happy reading friends!
I've compiled a reading list of self-improvement books for you guys. None of these except for Mate are directly related to meeting women (although a few are about relationships), but all of them will help you gain self-insight, which will in turn increase confidence, increase understanding of what your own needs are and who you are etc. which in turn will help you become a more grounded, empathic, assertive, wealthy, intelligent person. All of these items are directly relevant to your ability to meet women.
1. Mate by Tucker Max and Geoffrey- I've recommended this one on here before. It's my goto for helping guys learn how to become an attractive man. There are many ways to skin a cat, and many books out there which help with this endgoal. I believe this one is different because it's written not only by guys who have "made it" so to speak (i.e. they're already very successful with women in their own right), but it also has more empirical evidence than anything I've ever seen. Moreover, one of the authors has done a lot of research himself. So it's unlikely that it will be misinterpreted or misrepresented. Here is their free podcast: http://thematinggrounds.com/
2. Attached The New Science of Adult Attachment by Levine and Heller- We all have different ways of relating to our partners and different needs based on our early childhood experiences. Attachment theory is one fairly simple way of conceptualizing these needs. Broadly speaking, it will accurately explain why your past relationships have gone the way they have, and what you can do to find new relationships which will be more happy and more fulfilling. This book has blown everyone to whom I've recommended it to's mind. Most all of them see their past relationships in a whole new light after reading this book (including myself). This book is also very well researched. About 30 years of research goes into it. Here's a short video which briefly explains the concept: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s9ACDMcpjA
3. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown- Most of you have probably heard of this. If you haven't, watch her Ted Talk. Brene Brown explains why vulnerability is key to connecting with other people. Weather that be friends, lovers, family etc. There's no way around it. Unfortunately, our culture (especially as it pertains to men and masculinity) not only fails to teach us how to be vulnerable, but it also shames it as "weak" "being a pussy" etc. I can't really do this book justice in one paragraph. Watch her Ted Talk here: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_o ... anguage=en
4. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg- If you're one of those people who struggles to build or stick to habits you would like to have (including going out and meeting women!), I recommend this book to you. It breaks down why you've failed in the past, and what you can do to make future attempts more successful. In some ways, this book is foundational to self-improvement. Because if you can't get off your ass and take action, you'll never change. This one is also very well researched.
5. Passionate Marriage by David Snarch- The title is a little deceiving. This book is actually about sex in the context of long-term relationships. And a lot of it applies to short-term relationships and even hookups. Basically...it teaches how to have good sex and by extension, happy relationships. The author posits that the two are intimately related to one another. Good sex is an expression of a great relationship. Bad sex is an expression of a shitty relationship. Lots of research to back this one up too. It is slightly clinical in nature. Many of the stories will be about couples therapy. But I promise it's interesting and relevant to you.
6. Male Sexuality- Why women don't understand it, and men don't either by Rowman and Littlefield - The title says it all!
7. The Clitoral Truth by Chalker- If you want a better understanding of female sexuality, look no further than this short book (maybe skip the first 60 pages or so. It's all anatomy of the clitoris).
8. Meditation for Dummies by Bodian- I know it sounds really childish. But I was actually pleasantly surprised. It gives a fairly in-depth look at meditation. What is it? Why you should practice it? Possible roadblocks along the way etc. If mindfulness interests you, I would definitely pick this one up.
9. Nonviolent Communication by Rosenburg- I would recommend pretty much everyone read this book. Most of the ways we attempt to resolve conflict are actually unhelpful because the way we communicate fails to get our needs across (i.e. what we're trying to get out of this discussion/argument), but it also hurts the other person and by extension, your relationship with them in the process. This book will teach you how to state your needs to the other person in a way such that they will understand them and they'll actually have a desire to fulfill them. It's useful in all contexts. Weather that be business, outings with friends, dates, girlfriends/relationships, family, even the way you interact with yourself (your internal dialogue).
10. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnagie- Most of you have probably heard of this one before. This is a great book for learning how to interact with others such that they will enjoy your presence, they will follow you, women will be attracted to you etc.
Happy reading friends!
