How to deal with break up due to her moving away?

whatitdo

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jul 25, 2019
Messages
1
So, I’m in a monogomous relationship with a girl and she’ll be moving away for college in a month and half. The college is a 10+ hour flight away. We were FWB at first but have been exclusive since April and got into it knowing she would be leaving.

I know long distance almost never works especially with that amount of distance and the length of our relationship, so I have no interest in doing that. The relationship has been more fulfilling than I thought it would be and I do care about her but the thought of being single once again is exciting.

Basically, we haven’t discussed what we are going to do. When and how do I bring it up? How do I gently deny her requests for long distance if she wants that? I also have a feeling she’ll want to remain in contact while she’s away, but to me that doesn’t seem like a great idea. So, how do I avoid falling into the friend role while she’s away but also leave the door open for her to want to see me in a FWB way when she comes back home on breaks?

Thank you
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
375
I don't think you have to say anything if it's implied that the two of you won't be together when she leaves. Bring it up closer to the end though, like 1-2 weeks out. Just be like, "Hey I know you're leaving soon...I really enjoy what we have, and if this is ever going to be something again in the future I think we should break up before you leave. I still value and like you, but long distance will never work for us based on X/Y/Z. I hope you understand. "

You can remain in contact, no harm in that.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
Basically agree to put the relationship on hold. Say "If you move back we can pick up where we left off. We are parting on good terms and if we are together in proximity we are together. Let's not hold ourselves hostage for Four or more years. "

When and how do I bring it up? How do I gently deny her requests for long distance if she wants that?
"You are starting a new life and you are going to grow as a person. i don't want to hold you back from developing great friends and contacts by trying to maintain a long distance relationship across multiple time zones. It is not Sustainable"
I also have a feeling she’ll want to remain in contact while she’s away, but to me that doesn’t seem like a great idea. So, how do I avoid falling into the friend role

"I want you to build a life at university, not have someone 10 hours away hold you back."

You have bedded her repeatedly so you have lock in. You should be able to re initiate relations unless she starts a monogamous relationship in the interim. I wouldn't worry abut getting friendzoned at this point. You can have friendly conversations once every week or two but the time interval will get longer. Let her initiate the conversations, don't pester her with "How's it goin'"

while she’s away but also leave the door open for her to want to see me in a FWB way when she comes back home on breaks?

"I'm going to just ask you right now for a date when you return for the next holiday. And that is what we are going to do when you are here. DATE. Enjoy our time we have together, and live our lives when we are apart. "

Just remember she is going to fuck other men in this time period. Make sure you leave her with a good memory of your physical time together to compare it to. Set that High Score.

Also work on finding yourself other options when she is gone. YOu may have questions from women about "Old What's her name" Tell them you are living your own lives while apart but aren't writing off anything in the future. When asked if you still care about her say "We had something very good while together and I will always cherish that. We parted on good terms and we will see what the future holds when that time comes"

This is also an effective out if you need to cool things off with a girl..."Remember Ol' What'shername? well she is back in town and we have a standing agreement for a date when she returns. "
 
Top
>