Women Only Want Me For Sex? Don't Want Me As A Boyfriend

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Mar 16, 2015
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So, I've been having this problem for quite a while and I'm unsure how to go about fixing it. I have no problem getting women into bed with me, I've got my process down which only continues to get better and better. No doubts that, that trend will only continue. I also don't have any problems with keeping women around.

My issue is this: I'm kind of tired of being the secret 'boyfriend'. I know Chase has an article out about the Secret Boyfriend or the Undercover Lover and how it's best to start that way, and I completely agree. And that's the way that I keep things for the first few months and everything goes swimmingly. But after that, I'm unsure how to go about becoming more of a boyfriend.

The current girl that I'm seeing now initiated all contact at first, proposed plans for us to do things together and even gave me a short term job for several hundred dollars to help me out.

So no trouble hanging onto women at all either. The problem is that they don't want me as a 'public' boyfriend and would rather keep me out of sight.

But I'm tired of being the secret guy. I have only met one of her friends because I knew the friend first, barely. And I met her mom briefly for like 5 seconds as an accident.

Looking back, I hardly ever meet people from women's lives. When I do it's usually accidental, at least on my part. They may scheme for it but I doubt it. Women never seem interested in meeting people from my life or even ask about it, so they've never met family of mine. I have introduced some to friends of mine but haven't with the new girl. Long story short; all of my friends are far away from me at the moment and I've been focused on other things. So no new friends in the area, should probably fix that soon. Really need to finish this house up and get moved first though... grrr... life...

I've never really had the 'girlfriend experience' as I kinda see it. No pictures up on social media, no real mention of me anywhere and etc. I'm basically the definition of Chase's article on the secret boyfriend. It's kind of all I've ever been with women. https://www.girlschase.com/content/secret-lover

I've gotten to a point where I feel like I'm missing out. I've never had any issues with drama with women, I don't know if it's because I choose good women or if I'm doing everything right or they just don't care lol.



The girl I'm seeing now I will admit that due to life issues I've gotten a little needy with. Because I caught the problem early I've already been working on that and things have improved quite a bit. But now it's gotten to a point where I'm a little turned off that she doesn't seem to want anything more with me. We hang out once a week and she cooks for me when I get to her place (I live an hour outside of the city and we've talked about seeing each other a little more often when my cousin and I finally get moved, but in the mean time I prefer just going to her house which is bad for investment but good for my fun). We will go on a date every once in a while, like going dancing or going to the movies where she will pay for both. Though, truth be told, it might already be getting close to over, not sure. We'll see how it pans out, which means that this advice might have to wait until the next one

I also feel whiny and have made and deleted this post before posting it like 4 times already haha. A high quality problem I suppose. In terms of abundance mentalities I'd place myself firmly in the camp of just shy of absolute abundance. Like, I can meet women and sleep with them just fine. Personality wise the girls that I really like are a little more rare, but still not much issue with getting them, just need to up my consistency with them is all. Maybe in another year my mentality will be there.

But this secret lover thing is really starting to wear on me. Am I crazy? Is what I'm wanting really just something stupid? Or hell, I know that life ain't exactly stable for me right now so maybe I'm just not valuable enough outside of being a walking talking boner and that once I get past this then things will just naturally fall into place?

Could use some help and insights. I'm fully aware that I may even end up getting what I want and firmly regretting it just as quickly, but still, I'd at least like to experience it. Like, are women just ashamed of me or something?
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
I'd say ask yourself if you are a good friend? What are your guy relationships like? Do you foster friendships well? Do you do favors without "what's in it for me?" Do you nurture your friends talent and help them grow?

I think when you find value in being a good friend, regardless of gender, ALL of your relationships will become deeper and more meaningful.
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Fuck This said:
I'd say ask yourself if you are a good friend? What are your guy relationships like? Do you foster friendships well? Do you do favors without "what's in it for me?" Do you nurture your friends talent and help them grow?

I think when you find value in being a good friend, regardless of gender, ALL of your relationships will become deeper and more meaningful.

I’d like to have a friend like me, so I think I’m a good friend. Was always the test that I use
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
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Chase said:

Sweet, thanks for the article Chase!

More work and more introspection will need to be done it seems like. Need to figure out what gal wants a guy like me for more. Though obviously will need to finish up some more self-work first/along the way

Guess the gut feeling was right. This one’s not got a lotta life left... good news is she’ll probably come back eventually in one form or another :p


Thanks again! Must have missed that article
 
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