If gf complains about other guys hitting on her

Namely guys that grab her or try to molest. Last time she was collecting food from delivery guy and when she came back she had a red mark on her hand cuz some drunk dude grabbed her hand and scratched her when she pulled her hand away. I'm not sure on how to respond to this and from her words she gets into these situations quite often.
So if it happened in front of me, of course, I would intervene, but I really don't want to get into fights again since last time it happened it ended up in police station and me receiving a notice that if this happens again my permission to stay in country/visa (I am studying overseas) will be prohibited. Is there a smoother way?
Also how would you handle these situations when a girl complains about something that already happened to her when you were not around? For example at party?

Really need some help on this one, thank you

1mag1ne,

Namely guys that grab her or try to molest. Last time she was collecting food from delivery guy and when she came back she had a red mark on her hand cuz some drunk dude grabbed her hand and scratched her when she pulled her hand away. I'm not sure on how to respond to this and from her words she gets into these situations quite often.

Click to expand...

Are you in a bad part of town? Why are these situations happening "often" to your girl?

So if it happened in front of me, of course, I would intervene, but I really don't want to get into fights again since last time it happened it ended up in police station and me receiving a notice that if this happens again my permission to stay in country/visa (I am studying overseas) will be prohibited. Is there a smoother way?

Click to expand...

If it's something serious like the guy is physically grabbing/restraining her, you really have no choice but to step in and say something. However, I would try to de-escalate the situation and just grab your girl and leave if that seems possible. Only fight if it seems like the guy is going to force a fight (which should almost never happen... unless you're in some kind of bad part of town).

You can have a talk with your girl separately when you get some time and tell her that you need to be careful about getting into fights because you've already been to the police station once, and if it happens again, you may lose your permission to stay in the country, which is something you can absolutely not afford to happen to you.

Also how would you handle these situations when a girl complains about something that already happened to her when you were not around? For example at party?

Click to expand...

If she's complaining about it, then ask her why she was there. Technically, this is her fault for putting herself in situations where she can be physically abused in some way. Tell her, "look, I'm not going to stop you from going to these parties, but if you're going to come back and complain about it, all I can tell you is that you shouldn't go if the guys are untrustworthy. Why waste your time going to events where you end up coming back annoyed and violated rather than content and happy?"

Make her think about her decision to go. Obviously if she's unhappy with these events she goes to because the other men there violate her personal space in some way, then she just shouldn't go. It's an obvious solution. But if she's still going anyway (and then subsequently complaining about it every single time), then you might want to consider whether or not this type of girl is one you want to even continue to be in a relationship with.

- Franco