Hey guys, I had a few questions about what to do in future relationships as I reflect from mistakes in my current one. I understand that the key to women is making them submit and that they want to submit and that they enjoy submitting and that dominance is all about winning and that a lovely violence exists between men and women. I am living with my girlfriend in a shared apartment, and I had let my frame go a bit and failed some tests due to a super busy period. Now I am having trouble making my gf submit again. In the morning, For example, we would both get turned on after feeling each other up and she would be moaning. Then I would try to have sex with her and she would say no I have to go write a paper and get ready for work and I dont want to do this etc. I would say things like "you are right the whole world will end if you wait 5 more mins" and " just hang out for 5 mins" etc. It doesnt work she is like I cant and then she just gets up grabs her things and leaves. I could tell she wanted me to make her submit but I am not sure how to anymore with actionable steps or mindset. Chase's article mentioned passing her tests in general, winning fights, and holding frame. How would I do that better in this context or in ltrs in general? How do you dominant without crossing the consent line and make her submit without going too far?
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making her resubmit in a relationship
- Thread starter Deg
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Deg said:Hey guys, I had a few questions about what to do in future relationships as I reflect from mistakes in my current one. I understand that the key to women is making them submit and that they want to submit and that they enjoy submitting and that dominance is all about winning and that a lovely violence exists between men and women. I am living with my girlfriend in a shared apartment, and I had let my frame go a bit and failed some tests due to a super busy period. Now I am having trouble making my gf submit again. In the morning, For example, we would both get turned on after feeling each other up and she would be moaning. Then I would try to have sex with her and she would say no I have to go write a paper and get ready for work and I dont want to do this etc. I would say things like "you are right the whole world will end if you wait 5 more mins" and " just hang out for 5 mins" etc. It doesnt work she is like I cant and then she just gets up grabs her things and leaves. I could tell she wanted me to make her submit but I am not sure how to anymore with actionable steps or mindset. Chase's article mentioned passing her tests in general, winning fights, and holding frame. How would I do that better in this context or in ltrs in general? How do you dominant without crossing the consent line and make her submit without going too far?
This is the Million dollar question.
I think it is a matter of ejecting before you beg for 5 more minutes. You have to demonstrate you are the decision maker in that exchange and rather than push through, withdrawing is a safer demonstration.
I'd say be dominant when she wants to have sex and make her ask, and then when she asks, take it a little further .
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What Fuck This is saying is that hierarchy of relationship dominance looks like this
1) Winning a battle
2) Not fighting a battle
3) Losing a battle
Currently you are aiming for number 1 and achieving number 3, which is the worst thing you could be doing. Part of being in a relationship is learning to pick your battles to fight. If you are trying to pick battles you aren't going to win (which it sounds like is what is happening) her attraction to you is going to continue to plummet and she'll start to walk all over you.
Assuming this is the same relationship you posted about in the other thread, I feel pretty confident in saying your issue is that the spark between the two of you is gone and she isn't attracted to you anymore. It doesn't really matter what you do here because she simply doesn't want to have sex. I'm not saying its impossible to rekindle things but its going to be extremely difficult, and you'll probably need to talk to someone older who has been through a marriage to get advice on that aspect.
In FUTURE relationships, if the girl is attracted to you, you won't have these problems. The key to dominance is asking for things you know you can get. If you ask for things a girl doesn't want to do or won't do then you are tanking your own attraction when she refuses you and you lose the battle. Also understand that sex drive and emotions decrease the longer a relationship goes, and the logical and practical aspects increase. So a girl who would be late to work in order to hook up with you 2 months into a relationship isn't necessarily going to do the same thing after 2 years. That is just the way of the world to a certain extent and you need to work around it
1) Winning a battle
2) Not fighting a battle
3) Losing a battle
Currently you are aiming for number 1 and achieving number 3, which is the worst thing you could be doing. Part of being in a relationship is learning to pick your battles to fight. If you are trying to pick battles you aren't going to win (which it sounds like is what is happening) her attraction to you is going to continue to plummet and she'll start to walk all over you.
Assuming this is the same relationship you posted about in the other thread, I feel pretty confident in saying your issue is that the spark between the two of you is gone and she isn't attracted to you anymore. It doesn't really matter what you do here because she simply doesn't want to have sex. I'm not saying its impossible to rekindle things but its going to be extremely difficult, and you'll probably need to talk to someone older who has been through a marriage to get advice on that aspect.
In FUTURE relationships, if the girl is attracted to you, you won't have these problems. The key to dominance is asking for things you know you can get. If you ask for things a girl doesn't want to do or won't do then you are tanking your own attraction when she refuses you and you lose the battle. Also understand that sex drive and emotions decrease the longer a relationship goes, and the logical and practical aspects increase. So a girl who would be late to work in order to hook up with you 2 months into a relationship isn't necessarily going to do the same thing after 2 years. That is just the way of the world to a certain extent and you need to work around it
lostnumber, thanks man I hear your point. I want to know how I can get better at this skill of asking for things I think I can get and also winning battles. In this relationship, I feel that I was either losing battles or not even fighting them, so knowing when to have the battles and when not to is something I really want to learn but I am not sure how. The other thing I would like to know is how to avoid losing that sexual spark and losing attraction and the reason this is so important to me is because I was trying to use Gchase techniques the entire relationship to avoid losing the sexual spark and somehow I ended up losing it anyway :/