Deg said:
What just frustrates me is that Although I am aware of all the seduction material and have read the articles thoroughly. I still didn't notice that I reached this point. Why is it so hard to realize your mistakes in relationships like this?
Relationships have a way of blinding people. Ever been in a toxic or otherwise unsatisfactory relationship and not realized how bad it was until you got out? I think we've all either been that guy or know someone else who has.
In my opinion this phenomenon is largely a combination of two things:
1) Human beings are incredibly adaptable. We have a tendency to take our circumstances and normalize them as a coping mechanism. Boss makes you work 60 hours a week, but that's just what you have to do to make it in the corporate world. Sex goes away in a relationship but thats natural once the two of you have been together for a long time. Health deteriorates and you can't do all of the things you could do before, but you are getting older after all. Humans are very good at coping. This is especially true if, as in your case, the change is gradual. If sex goes from 4 times a week to 3 that is easy enough to accept. And from 3 to 2, and 2 to 1, and so on.
2) Most people lack inertia, and barring some major external event are unlikely to change their baseline behavior. If you have an ok relationship and things seem to be going OK most people will find it easier to sit tight then to change course. I mean, look at yourself here; it's only now that you've had an "oh shit" moment that you are motivated to make a change. I'm not calling you out for that, just using it as an example to show a behavior pattern that 99% of humanity engages in.
The only solutions I see are to remain cognizant, and to take action BEFORE you find yourself deep in a hole. If you'd started working on this 1-2 years ago when the attraction started fading I think there are a lot of things you could have done. Now? I'm not saying it's IMPOSSIBLE, but without some shared life commitment like children I think you will find that the costs and difficulty of trying to hold the relationship together far outweigh starting from scratch with a new girl.
That's my two cents anyways