- Joined
- Sep 13, 2016
- Messages
- 7
Alright, story-time (sorry)
So, I was in math-class in uni, met this nice Chinese girl. One thing to another, got together in a relationship did all the normal relationship stuff (dates, movies etc...). She lost her virginity to me and we had sex twice (remember this point). Note that I have been told I'm naturally charming, and have the ability to BS my way out of almost any situation.
Then I discovered that she loves me ... wait what (I am an idiot I know, but I'm 19 she's 21 I'm more experienced than she is, and I lost my virginity to her as well. But at least I kissed someone before!)?
It's not to say that I don't have feelings for her, I do. But they're certainly not very strong. I don't think she's the greatest thing on Earth and I've got my own ambitions which have nothing to do with women.
The thing is, I feel I can do better, much better, than her. But I don't want to lie, I don't want to let her down because she is still one very nice girl. She's done nothing wrong, and I led her on even though I didn't really have feelings for her (I can act really well, I am usually completely unemotional bordering sociopath).
That's the setup.
Then her period came 1 month in - one recipe for disaster.
She started saying how I was being distant and didn't want to truly commit. Said that I never thought it was going to work out, nor did I even imagine that possibility. And then I panicked.
I started spouting all kinds of BS about how I didn't want the relationship to last for ever, all that (but I did want it to continue longer than this, for her if nothing else. I may not feel love for her, but seeing her like that gutted me.) Well, she left the restaurant. I didn't go after her. I then texted her, saying that I would break up with her.
Ohhhh, she blew up. then I started BSing about how I was a moron (which I was) arrogant (which I am) and all the negative things, and that I didn't mean what I said, and that I didn't know what i wanted.
So far, I have never lied to her once; but since I don't know my own emotions, I can't exactly explain them. But she is gutted, started spouting that how dare the first guy she loved enough to have sex with break up with her in such a stupid and haphazard way (I'm a moron, yes I know), and I panicked.
So now, I am dyeing 3 flowers blue (kinda my thing, I give blue flowers to all the girls I like, makes me seem exclusive, you guys should try it, she really appreciated it). And I'm going to sneak into her flat and give them to her with a hand written letter. (I hope her flatmates won't see it, it might make her feel even worse.)
My writing is S, but I think it will get the job done. the problem is - what should I do?
I don't think I love her, but it's been a month. It might come later, but being as unemotional as I am, I have my doubts (I still think my level of unemotion is really strange)
I do like her as a person, but not so much that I'm going to spend more than a few months with her. That I knew since the beginning, I thought I had explained it to her, but her issue seemed to be that I didn't even entertain the posibiltiy.
So, what should I do? what should I write? I did have a crush on her since the beginning but it kinda disappeared since we had sex (never think with your dick, I know, first time all right?). I don't want her to feel this bad, and I really think I messed her up - badly. I do feel horrible, especially knowing it was all pretty much my fault (her gullibility, but I should have payed attention) so I do want to fix it. As a more selfish motive, she's in my class - right... so I do want to put things proper between us.
I would really love for some advice
Thanks guys for helping
EDIT: Just so you know, at first I was relieved when she started this, then halfway through I realized I didn't want her to go, then I alternated between both. So I decided to go for the middle and stall for time
So, I was in math-class in uni, met this nice Chinese girl. One thing to another, got together in a relationship did all the normal relationship stuff (dates, movies etc...). She lost her virginity to me and we had sex twice (remember this point). Note that I have been told I'm naturally charming, and have the ability to BS my way out of almost any situation.
Then I discovered that she loves me ... wait what (I am an idiot I know, but I'm 19 she's 21 I'm more experienced than she is, and I lost my virginity to her as well. But at least I kissed someone before!)?
It's not to say that I don't have feelings for her, I do. But they're certainly not very strong. I don't think she's the greatest thing on Earth and I've got my own ambitions which have nothing to do with women.
The thing is, I feel I can do better, much better, than her. But I don't want to lie, I don't want to let her down because she is still one very nice girl. She's done nothing wrong, and I led her on even though I didn't really have feelings for her (I can act really well, I am usually completely unemotional bordering sociopath).
That's the setup.
Then her period came 1 month in - one recipe for disaster.
She started saying how I was being distant and didn't want to truly commit. Said that I never thought it was going to work out, nor did I even imagine that possibility. And then I panicked.
I started spouting all kinds of BS about how I didn't want the relationship to last for ever, all that (but I did want it to continue longer than this, for her if nothing else. I may not feel love for her, but seeing her like that gutted me.) Well, she left the restaurant. I didn't go after her. I then texted her, saying that I would break up with her.
Ohhhh, she blew up. then I started BSing about how I was a moron (which I was) arrogant (which I am) and all the negative things, and that I didn't mean what I said, and that I didn't know what i wanted.
So far, I have never lied to her once; but since I don't know my own emotions, I can't exactly explain them. But she is gutted, started spouting that how dare the first guy she loved enough to have sex with break up with her in such a stupid and haphazard way (I'm a moron, yes I know), and I panicked.
So now, I am dyeing 3 flowers blue (kinda my thing, I give blue flowers to all the girls I like, makes me seem exclusive, you guys should try it, she really appreciated it). And I'm going to sneak into her flat and give them to her with a hand written letter. (I hope her flatmates won't see it, it might make her feel even worse.)
My writing is S, but I think it will get the job done. the problem is - what should I do?
I don't think I love her, but it's been a month. It might come later, but being as unemotional as I am, I have my doubts (I still think my level of unemotion is really strange)
I do like her as a person, but not so much that I'm going to spend more than a few months with her. That I knew since the beginning, I thought I had explained it to her, but her issue seemed to be that I didn't even entertain the posibiltiy.
So, what should I do? what should I write? I did have a crush on her since the beginning but it kinda disappeared since we had sex (never think with your dick, I know, first time all right?). I don't want her to feel this bad, and I really think I messed her up - badly. I do feel horrible, especially knowing it was all pretty much my fault (her gullibility, but I should have payed attention) so I do want to fix it. As a more selfish motive, she's in my class - right... so I do want to put things proper between us.
I would really love for some advice
Thanks guys for helping
EDIT: Just so you know, at first I was relieved when she started this, then halfway through I realized I didn't want her to go, then I alternated between both. So I decided to go for the middle and stall for time