How to Prevent Girls From Falling in Love With You

Sandman

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Messages
359
This is a big problem.

I try to maintain a lover frame throughout my fb relationships. The girls know that I'm not bf material. They know that I will not "fall in love" with them. They know I fuck other girls.

But I also don't wanna treat them like a heartless dick. For example I like cuddling and sleeping with girls so if we fuck and I don't have to be anywhere else I will spend the night and cuddle. So I know that these two traits might be why they fall in love with me.

It breaks my heart though. My current fb, when we took md, told me the reason she tells me that she wants to see me once every month (she almost always comes when I ask her to tho) is because she fears falling in love with me. I wrote "weeks hearts keep your distance" on my okcupid profile (stole from chase :p) and she said I'm trying to keep my distance. She told me the reason she doesn't text me on her own initiative is because she fears I won't respond to her and she'd feel devastated. I like it that way but still...

I've had these past lovers. One girl broke out sobbing out of no where and told me that I don't love her even if she loves me so much. Another girl did the same only her complaint was "you treat me so nice when we're together and I feel happy with you but then I leave and you probably fuck other girls".

I don't wanna be a dick, I don't wanna lead them on but I still wanna enjoy sex and some small affection. Is this possible?

Or you can just list the things to avoid in order to prevent a girl from falling in love you, I'm just putting it out here so that there might be a good discussion :)
 

mindful

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Mar 16, 2014
Messages
256
At a basic level, you probably only want to see a FB once a week and don't do sleep overs.

I've had problems as well where I would see girls more, or she would stay over one night. This would lead to a girl thinking it is leading to something more. Because remember, it's not your words but your actions that a girl is looking at when evaluating the relationship between you two.

I also like a little affection as well. Cuddling and such afterwards, but only if I actually like the girl. I think this is OK as long as you don't stay over... would like to know what others think of that when running FBs.
 

Sandman

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Messages
359
mindful said:
At a basic level, you probably only want to see a FB once a week and don't do sleep overs.

I've had problems as well where I would see girls more, or she would stay over one night. This would lead to a girl thinking it is leading to something more. Because remember, it's not your words but your actions that a girl is looking at when evaluating the relationship between you two.

Thanks for the insight!

I never see them more than once a week and I completely agree with everything you say but damn I want some cuddly time as well :p

They know it's not going anywhere though hmm maybe I just need to find a really sexually open girl who had guys who fuck her better than me...
 

mindful

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 16, 2014
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256
mrre said:
mindful said:
At a basic level, you probably only want to see a FB once a week and don't do sleep overs.

I've had problems as well where I would see girls more, or she would stay over one night. This would lead to a girl thinking it is leading to something more. Because remember, it's not your words but your actions that a girl is looking at when evaluating the relationship between you two.

Thanks for the insight!

I never see them more than once a week and I completely agree with everything you say but damn I want some cuddly time as well :p

They know it's not going anywhere though hmm maybe I just need to find a really sexually open girl who had guys who fuck her better than me...


You should check out blackdragons blog... he does a good job explaining the differences between FBs, casual relationships, long term relationships. His relationship management posts are gold.

I'm right there with you though, I consider myself more on the sensitive side so I like some cuddling and such. For this reason, I'm still pretty bad at handling FB situations. I usually don't manage them well which leads to the wrong expectations in which you have to cut it off or continue with your actions. I had this happen with one girl I was seeing from march-may. Started getting invites to outings with her friends, and other group stuff that I just didn't wanna do. At that point I knew it was game over with this chick as I couldn't continue seeing her since my actions didn't line up with my words and so she wanted more out of me.
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,641
Location
Southern California
mrre,

Here's a quick list off the top of my head to help you out:

  • See her once a week or less
  • Only initiate texts to meet up; you can respond to her texts that she initiates to you, but take long periods of time to respond and keep it mostly platonic/fun
  • Don't let her sleep over (and don't sleep over at her place) [NOTE: I've made exceptions to this rule before in situations where maybe it's super late and/or we're both drunk, so it's natural to let her sleep over, but then be prepared to have a reason to leave (or have her leave) in the morning... as nicely as you can, anyway]
  • No outings/dates (other than the date needed to initially get her in bed). You go to her place, or she comes to yours.
    [*] These girls will come and go in your life; they are always still looking for boyfriends, so when they realize you won't be one, they will continue to see other guys. This is totally fine, and sometimes they'll continue to sleep with you until they complete their search (and sometimes even after they complete their search...)


If you follow most of those rules in a disciplined way, you'll avoid breaking most girls' hearts. :)

EDIT: I will give a +1 to mindful's suggestion on checking out Blackdragon's blog. He has plenty of information for running casual relationships (including FBs).

- Franco
 

Sandman

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Messages
359
I'm only guilty of number 3 on that list :) Seems like a shame to just fuck once or twice and leave because we pay for a hotel for the whole night anyway (don't have my place) and I like to fuck all night (with sleeping now and then).

I actually read blackdragon's blog, only seduction blog I read besides gc.

Thanks a lot guys
 
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