Hi Evan, not sure if I understand fully:
* It just recently happened that my girlfriend moved to a new city. This was only a problem after finding out that we have communication issues.
>>>> Why did she move to a new city? Because of your communication problems? Family? Job?
* There is a problem that my aloofness is mistaken for coldness when in reality I am just closed off person
>>>> Not sure what do you mean by that either. What is the difference between these? If you are aloof you can be perceived as cold and closed off... How does she suppose to know that you are not for example cold if you are aloof all the time?
* We have been dating for a year and a half
>>>> What is dating? Just going out with her ever week or two? Sleeping with her? Living together?
* Help me to open up, right now I feel unnatural and trying to consciously do it is pushing her away.
>>>> Ok, how are you trying to open up to her that she is pushed away?
I can't read much from your text, so I give you my examples: I met a girl in the past, there were great vibes, she was quite excited and anxious to be around me, I knew she was thinking sex. I had feelings for her. So she sends me a message: blah blah, I love you. So I replied: blah blah, you know that I love you too. I was honest, and what happened? ERRRR!!! She was gone the second day...
Or, another one: she tried to talk openly about her family: sisters this, mom that... So I tried to reciprocate with the same, described my family. Boom! Gone, attraction was gone, I pushed her away by being too honest and open...
WTF? You would think. But many times they are not looking for that sort of honest opening. They still want some mystery, some sort of indirectness. For example, she sends me her pic, she is smoking hot, like a model. Do I say "you are so hot!"? Fuck no. I don't know how other guys, but I just can't be direct. I say: "I like the cup you are holding on that pic, what do you drink?"... And then she goes on and on... Then I asked: Who took those pretty pictures? And then she talks even more... But this is kind of relative, it simply all depends. Another times I sent a message: Wow, that girl on that pic is so fucking hot! Just to hit on her - but there should be good vibes first...
Or, she asks me what am I doing for living. Do I tell her the truth? What I say is: Yea, I work in X field, it is ok, not as good as it should be but I can't really complain. It is actually good. How about you, what do you do? And then I go onto what she does for living, trying to get as much as info about her...
This way you can accomplish many good things, such as:
- You remain mystery, at least sort of. The less you tell her the better for you. She wants to guess, she wants to imagine things, she wants to find out - and that is exciting. She doesn't want you to tell her, she doesn't want to know... Knowing is boring....
- She will have to invest more about you. She will have to come back (hours, days of week later) and keep asking more questions about you. You stimulate her natural curiosity, she has to find out more...
- She talks, and you don't. Which makes both of you feel great, LOL. Just remember some details that she talks about here and there, then throw the details back at her. This way it at least 'looks' that you are interested in what she has to say...
Another good thing to 'open up' your feelings is when you really like to do something and you show passion for it: Hey, I really like to go (swimming, diving, running, visiting, going to zoo, ...), there is this great place I've been to before, you definitely have to go with me. Note that this way you are not describing yourself and you are not describing her - you are describing THINGS that you like or love to do, and you show excitement to do these things again - with her. You of course want to do those things WITH HER and they should be physical, meaning physical movements and actions...
Other things that come to my mind:
- You might be depressed, down
- You don't really like her that much, you don't have feelings for her, you date her just so you can say you have "GF"
Hope that some of it will help...