Fellow Members,
I've been wrestling with a question for a while now that I hope some of you can help me answer. I'm posting this in the "advanced" section because it specifically pertains to a certain level of abundance. For some of us, the pursuit of women is a lifelong competition, first with other guys, and then with ourselves. For others, including myself, it's a more finite journey.
To put it simply, I have reached a point of abundance that I'm perfectly capable of meeting my needs and desires without any great effort. Of course it's not like I can get any girl anytime, but even limiting the pool to uncommonly high-level women, I find that I have more options, and more good options, than I realistically have time or energy to entertain.
There are only so many hours in the week, and I only have the energy or the desire to invest in relationships with so many females. The straightforward answer is, figure out what my limit is, and take that many off of the top of the list. But in reality, the algorithm is more complicated than that.
For one thing, it's easy to tell the difference between a 6 and an 8 or a 7 and a 9. But once the pool gets narrow enough it's harder to differentiate that so linearly. Given a selection of ten nines, for example, there are likely to be different things that I like about each one. It's likely that the number of equally matched candidates who nevertheless have different things to offer still exceeds my capacity, which makes it difficult to narrow the selection down to fit in that range.
Another issue is the way the ranking of the choices changes and can be expected to change over time. The top 10 candidates this week might not be the top 10 candidates next week, especially because certain individuals are likely to move down as I get to know them, while others that may have seemed less promising originally, become more attractive as I get to know them. And, to further complicate the matter, I do believe and generally find that any healthy relationship will inevitably increase and depth in quality in proportion with time and energy invested. So I am fundamentally interested in trying to maintain a relationship with a given female over a maximum time frame simply because, all other things being equal, that investment will pay off exponentially.
To those of you who have found yourself at such a level of abundance, how did you handle it? It's a pretty new thing for me and I'm feeling rather lost honestly. It's both lovely and a bit perplexing to have so many options, just as it is rewarding and bittersweet to look at the progress that I've made and feel that I have legitimately accomplished what I set out to do--to be able to have this kind of abundance.
Do you keep devoting time and energy towards ever diminishing returns, continuously seeking out ever finer, more attractive, more desirable women? Doesn't the marginal benefit of that next, slightly more attractive 10 quickly become less than the benefit you would see from investing in a relationship with an existing 10 over more time? Do you just call it good and focus on other areas of your life, in which case, how do you pick your "line up", so to speak, to maximize your investment over the long term? Do you specifically work on increasing your capacity to maintain current relationships, in the idea that the diminishing returns of time and energy efficiency become more valuable then those of trying to find marginally more quality mates?
I'm curious to hear from you guys.
All The Best,
Daniel
I've been wrestling with a question for a while now that I hope some of you can help me answer. I'm posting this in the "advanced" section because it specifically pertains to a certain level of abundance. For some of us, the pursuit of women is a lifelong competition, first with other guys, and then with ourselves. For others, including myself, it's a more finite journey.
To put it simply, I have reached a point of abundance that I'm perfectly capable of meeting my needs and desires without any great effort. Of course it's not like I can get any girl anytime, but even limiting the pool to uncommonly high-level women, I find that I have more options, and more good options, than I realistically have time or energy to entertain.
There are only so many hours in the week, and I only have the energy or the desire to invest in relationships with so many females. The straightforward answer is, figure out what my limit is, and take that many off of the top of the list. But in reality, the algorithm is more complicated than that.
For one thing, it's easy to tell the difference between a 6 and an 8 or a 7 and a 9. But once the pool gets narrow enough it's harder to differentiate that so linearly. Given a selection of ten nines, for example, there are likely to be different things that I like about each one. It's likely that the number of equally matched candidates who nevertheless have different things to offer still exceeds my capacity, which makes it difficult to narrow the selection down to fit in that range.
Another issue is the way the ranking of the choices changes and can be expected to change over time. The top 10 candidates this week might not be the top 10 candidates next week, especially because certain individuals are likely to move down as I get to know them, while others that may have seemed less promising originally, become more attractive as I get to know them. And, to further complicate the matter, I do believe and generally find that any healthy relationship will inevitably increase and depth in quality in proportion with time and energy invested. So I am fundamentally interested in trying to maintain a relationship with a given female over a maximum time frame simply because, all other things being equal, that investment will pay off exponentially.
To those of you who have found yourself at such a level of abundance, how did you handle it? It's a pretty new thing for me and I'm feeling rather lost honestly. It's both lovely and a bit perplexing to have so many options, just as it is rewarding and bittersweet to look at the progress that I've made and feel that I have legitimately accomplished what I set out to do--to be able to have this kind of abundance.
Do you keep devoting time and energy towards ever diminishing returns, continuously seeking out ever finer, more attractive, more desirable women? Doesn't the marginal benefit of that next, slightly more attractive 10 quickly become less than the benefit you would see from investing in a relationship with an existing 10 over more time? Do you just call it good and focus on other areas of your life, in which case, how do you pick your "line up", so to speak, to maximize your investment over the long term? Do you specifically work on increasing your capacity to maintain current relationships, in the idea that the diminishing returns of time and energy efficiency become more valuable then those of trying to find marginally more quality mates?
I'm curious to hear from you guys.
All The Best,
Daniel