FR/FU: Artsy girl

This happened about twenty minutes ago so it's still in my memory.
Also I'd like to get feedback if possible.
My brother and I had just come back from morning classes at school and decided to get breakfast and then go to the mall so I could get my paycheck.
As we're walking into the mall, a cute girl is walking parallel to us heading towards the door as well. My pace was a little faster and I reached the door first and held the door open for her and my brother.
As she walked in, I did what any guy would do and checked out that ass. Haha.
Me and my brother looked at each other at the same time with a look on our faces like: DAMN!
She immediately stopped at the directory when she walked in while me and brother kept walking.
Bro: she's not from here.
Me: how do you know?
Bro: she's looking at the map...
(might as well use as an assumption)

The mall was just opening so all the stores still had the pull down gates covering them. We waited outside of GameStop and I watched from afar as I saw the girl get lost around the mall. She then came back walking in our direction and I told my brother I'm not leaving here without knowing her so I approached her.
She had headphones in so I hand gestured for her to take them out of her ears.
I got my sentence out slowly while looking deeply into her eyes.
Me: I saw you earlier and I thought you were so cute and I had to know your name.
Her: oh Thankyou its Jordyn.
Me: I'm Tevin. (instinctively shakes her hand...ugh)
Her: Steven?
Me: haha no, Tevin.
Her: ohhh haha that's a cool name.
Me: haha yea, anyway where are you from?
Her: I'm from here. I go to "college in town" (look on her face like: why do you ask?)
Me: cause when you walked in, I noticed that you looked at the map and figured you might be from out of town. Either you don't come here often or you're not from here.
Her: ohh haha yea, Im actually from "beach town down the coast" and came here for college. I was just looking for RadioShack...do you know where it is?
Me: oh yea...it's this way...I'll show you. (motioned for her to follow me)
Her: (while walking) I usually just say I'm from here since I've been here for awhile and most people don't know where (town she's from) is.
We were talking a little bit about something but I can't remember what. Then we reached RadioShack and were somehow on the topic of my name. She was making jokes about my name saying it rhymed with seven and heaven and saying that if I was a girl, people could tease me with "seven minutes of heaven inside Tevin." haha...glad we was thinking sexually at least.
I remember giving her a hug for trying to remember my name. I said: at least you tried, you get a hug for trying.
No wait, sometime before we reached RadioShack and were still walking, I asked her
Me: so where's your boyfriend? (to see if she was single but also throw her off guard)
Her: oh he's at school right now...blah blah something about art class...blah blah i make art.
Me: wait, what? You're an artist? No way.
Her: yea (look on her face like: why?)
Me: I am too (high fives her instinctively)
Her: oh cool...what do you do?
Me: what do you mean?
Her: like do you draw, paint, sculpture...?
Me: oh..well I haven't done it in awhile but I draw and paint.
Her: oh cool.
Me: (then I tell her about the school I went to for the arts...which is unasked information but I didn't realize until after.) do you know that school?
Her: oh yea, I've heard of that school...it has like theatre, dance, art, all that stuff right?
Me: yea I majored in drawing/painting blah blah more unasked information (but she didn't seem to mind...I felt like I was breaking the stranger barrier and she was starting to feel like we were the same.)
Her: (looking in my eyes, impressed look, smile, I couldn't tell if she was feeling the sexual tension that I was feeling.)
Me: anyway, I should've been able to tell you were artistic by the way you dress. (looks down at her outfit. She's wearing a tie dye shirt, necklace with gemstones tied together, short-shorts showing off those glorious legs and ass, and the dyed shoes.)
Her: yea you're dressed artistic too. (observes my outfit. I'm wearing a unbuttoned short sleeve blue shirt with african designs striping horizontally on it. A white tee shirt underneath, a porcelain carved African necklace of an elephant's head attached to a fake tusk. And then some blue shoes that resembled Vans that I got from Cotton On.
I guess some touching got in during all this examining. I reached for her necklace and pulled her in to look at it. I moved her hair out of the way to look at her earrings.
She was telling me about how she made the shoes herself and they used to be white.
Then we got back on the topic of her paintings and then I asked if she posted them online to which she gave me her Tumblr URL and I got her Facebook as well.
THEN it was at the point where she was joking about my name. I get the information all chronologically mixed up sometimes.
We were right outside RadioShack because it hadn't opened yet and she tells me that she actually has to go to a place near RadioShack and she was using RadioShack as a landmark. She scanned her eyes around for the place she was looking for and then
Her: there it is! I came here to get a new phone. (with this new AIO wireless thing that's popped up everywhere)
Then we walk over to it and she says: I bet you 200 bucks that the lady working there's name is Margarita.
Me: what? Forreal?
Her: yea
I walk up.
Me: (to the lady) hey is your name Margarita?
Lady: sure is!
Me: aww..I guess I owe you 200 bucks. (to Jordyn)
Her: hahaha

Then she started talking to the lady and I just stood there waiting for her. I mean, this interaction didn't feel finished and I felt like there was still more to talk about.
Her: you don't have to wait for me...
Me: (I'm reading this as: you can go away now.) oh I know..I'm not waiting for you...I'm actually waiting for my Boss to get here so he can pay me.
Her: oh...where do you work?
Me: right there. (points to the kiosk right there across from us)
Her: Journey's?
Me: haha no...that kiosk there.
While the lady at the AIO is looking for something, I'm having conversation with Jordyn again.
This time I find out that she must be 22 or 23 years old and that she keep using her time at school by finding new classes that interest her. She keeps taking classes that she doesn't even need to graduate, but she does them just because she enjoys them.
I could definitely feel some tension at this moment too when we were looking into each others eyes and I was standing close as we both leaned on the kiosk.
I'm thinking: okay...this girl has a boyfriend but will she move with me? Is she interested? Time to test it out.

Just then I see my boss at the kiosk across from us and I walk over to him and handle my business.
Whenever I look over at her she was looking at me and smiling.
When I finished I walked back over to her, put my hand on her shoulder and she looked at me.
Me: hey, jordyn...after you finish here, you wanna maybe sit down on that bench with me for a minute? (I should've just commanded her, I forgot)
Her: aww..I can't...I'm kinda in a rush. I have to go to class at 12.
Me: that's like two hours from now...just sit with me for two minutes.
Her: I can't...I'm in a rush.
Me: haha...your body language doesn't say that though...your body language says you want to sit with me.
Her: (she smiled and looked away never answering that)
The lady at the AIO told her to go over to the other phone kiosk right down the aisle for something
Her: okay...I have to go over there (points to kiosk further down)

I remembered that if I kept trying super hard to keep this going then it would've looked like chasing so I told her:alright bye, nice meeting you! And left.
Her: bye!

Didn't get a number...didn't plan a date...nothing..just Facebook information.
This was one messy situation too...I've never dealt with a girl trying to buy something while I was talking to her. It's frustrating because of divided attention.

Anyway, this was purely by accident. Right now, I'm just trying to work on my fundamentals and I haven't approached girls in two weeks. Im just trying to get female friends right now to get comfortable with being around attractive girls platonically. Besides, having female friends can give me access to hotter girls and it ups my preselection and conversational skills. I'm getting to a point where my conversations are so complex and detailed that I can't even remember everything we talk about. The energy was there though. When I caught on to the chemistry we had, I got open to the idea of getting laid by her. Originally I had just planned to try to be her friend.

I need to work on: talking about myself less. Listening more (sometimes I dazed out while looking into her eyes and feeling the moment...didn't catch some things she said to me.)
Get to other topics. (I had other topics pop into my head that I wanted to get to but never got the chance)
Been more persistent on getting her to move with me. (any ideas?)


This wasn't the best written, my apologies.
Commence the comments

Wes-

Good show on the approach. She seemed to have enjoyed talking to you; there's certainly plenty of room for improvement too. A few notes:

Wes said:

Her: oh he's at school right now...blah blah something about art class...blah blah i make art.
Me: wait, what? You're an artist? No way.
Her: yea (look on her face like: why?)
Me: I am too (high fives her instinctively)

Click to expand...

This right here is actually a golden opportunity... that's largely missed. She's qualifying herself to you when she says, "I make art," she's saying, "I am a person of value; be impressed by me!"

What you want to do here is very nonchalantly screen her, thus:

• Her: I do art...
  You: No way! So you mean I'm going to stop by the local art gallery and be like, "Damn! I just met that girl, and didn't even realize she was a celebrity!"
  Her: [laughs] Not exactly... I am a painter though.
  You: Oil, acrylic... finger paint?
  Her: Not finger paint! Everything else though, just about.
  You: How long have you been doing that - and are you any good?

Like this.

If she's stating what she does very impressively, your first statement is, "Whoa, like [something ridiculous like she's as well-known as Picasso]"; this is a screen, and she's now forced to say, "No, I'm not THAT good... I am THIS good, though," and now she's qualifying herself to you.

You can then ask her specifics about what she does and how she likes it and why she does it - this gets her talking about the important things about something that is deeply personal to her.

Wes said:

Her: oh cool...what do you do?
Me: what do you mean?
Her: like do you draw, paint, sculpture...?
Me: oh..well I haven't done it in awhile but I draw and paint.
Her: oh cool.
Me: (then I tell her about the school I went to for the arts...which is unasked information but I didn't realize until after.) do you know that school?
Her: oh yea, I've heard of that school...it has like theatre, dance, art, all that stuff right?

Click to expand...

If you notice - because in response to her mentioning that she did art, rather than screen her on this, YOU qualified YOURSELF, the dynamic reverses - and she begins screening YOU, and you begin qualifying more and more heavily:

• 
  You: I do art too!
  Her: Oh, what kind?
  You: ???
  Her: What kind of art do you do?
  You: Actually, I don't REALLY do art... I just wanted to connect with you on something.
  Her: Oh, I see.
  You: But I did go to a school for the arts! See, I'm *SOMETHING* of an artist!

This is the opposite of the dynamic you want - YOU want to be the one asking the probing questions, putting her on the spot, and having her qualifying herself to you and trying to win your approval... not the other way around.

If I had to pick one point in the interaction where it clearly went from "potential" to "lost", it'd be that whole exchange about art right there - but it's relatively easy to fix once you realize what you're doing (you're trying to impress her, instead of finding out more about her).

Wes said:

Me: aww..I guess I owe you 200 bucks. (to Jordyn)
Her: hahaha

Then she started talking to the lady and I just stood there waiting for her. I mean, this interaction didn't feel finished and I felt like there was still more to talk about.

Click to expand...

In this instance, where you're not CLEARLY together and there's been zero indication that the two of you have any business now that you've taken her where you were supposed to take her, you must leave.

However, an easy way of parting and setting up a potential date in this instance is using what you "owe" her (I like using this quite a bit myself, actually):

• You: All right, well, I DON'T have $200 on me right now, but since I'm stuck here for at least another 30 minutes, let me treat you to an ice cream once you're all wrapped up here, and put in the first couple of dollars toward paying down my debt.

If she says "yes", you can use this as an easy excuse to keep setting up dates: "Well, I still owe you; what say I [doesn't have to be something you buy her; you can barter your services - 'I prepare you a really nice picnic lunch and we have that at Grover Park later this week', etc.]."

Main takeaway here: focus on screening and deep diving girls, rather than qualifying yourself and inviting THEM to screen and deep dive YOU - you'll see much better results.

Chase

Yo thanks for the reply Chase.
Nice thinking on the "using the 200 bucks to plan a date" thing. I would've never thought of that. I'll have to keep that in mind for next time.

Hey Tevin, very interesting and thought-provoking report, I actually read it in full before Chase came back to you, and had some ideas, but reading his response has changed my perspective on it obviously, so I'm going to direct my questions to him just for general education purposes!

Chase: obviously it's hard to read the body language from words on a page, but the first thought I had when I read this was as follows: with all the "haha"s and high fives and whatnot, isn't Wes being a bit too entertaining... the Jester as you would put it? It kind of brought to mind your articles on Least Effort and Not Overproviding etc. I was thinking he could use a bit more stillness and mystery, but was interested that you didn't mention that.

Also what's with the hugging?... I see girls hug other girls (their girlfriends) and occasionally hug their sexless guy pals (if they're well-behaved and lucky), but I personally prefer giving a cheek-kiss at the close of a street approach (hand on shoulder, draw her in), especially as a "reward" for an in-principle date acceptance and phone number. I get the kino aspect of hugging but isn't it a bit "friendly" again and lacking in masculinity?

-Marty

Marty-

Marty said:

Chase: obviously it's hard to read the body language from words on a page, but the first thought I had when I read this was as follows: with all the "haha"s and high fives and whatnot, isn't Wes being a bit too entertaining... the Jester as you would put it? It kind of brought to mind your articles on Least Effort and Not Overproviding etc. I was thinking he could use a bit more stillness and mystery, but was interested that you didn't mention that.

Also what's with the hugging?... I see girls hug other girls (their girlfriends) and occasionally hug their sexless guy pals (if they're well-behaved and lucky), but I personally prefer giving a cheek-kiss at the close of a street approach (hand on shoulder, draw her in), especially as a "reward" for an in-principle date acceptance and phone number. I get the kino aspect of hugging but isn't it a bit "friendly" again and lacking in masculinity?

Click to expand...

Yes, that stood out to me too, but the most important thing in this report was Wes qualifying himself instead of screening her, and in writing about that I forgot to mention these - good call on pointing them out, Marty.

High-fives and lots of laughter at her jokes and hugging and other buddy-buddy stuff is best avoided with women you're interested in, as it sets you up as either platonic (high-fives and hugging) or lower social value and seeking her approval (too much laughter).

These are frequently things guys get told to do when they're starting out in a lot of PUA forums - Wes, I'm not sure if you heard these in places like that or not. When you're an absolute PURE beginner, hugs and high-fives can be good just because they get you demanding compliance and getting touch with women, which you may not be experienced doing / may be afraid of - once that's no longer an issue though, you want to drop these, and go for more sensual or incidental touch, and leave tension and intrigue behind instead of defusing this with hugs (I don't think I've hugged a girl I wasn't related to or hadn't been sleeping with for at least 2 months since 2007... it just defuses WAY too much sexual tension and takes any mystery you might've had going for you out back behind the woodshed and shoots it).

Chase