FR 
So close again, but slightly less far than before

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
896
So met this girl on Saturday. Saw her coming out of the subway and opened direct. She was very warm to me, and we exchanged numbers. We planned to have a date today and met up around 7.

I met her nearby, and I made sure to hug her a little longer than a friend would. Then I talked a little small talk (with mostly statements) and suggested we grab drinks at a bar I like nearby. We go there, and we find a nice place to sit where we have a lot of incidental contact. Basically we're sitting in a fireplace/alcove that's barely big enough for both of us (great seating arrangement). I do some deep diving, and find out more about her, and that she's a creative type interning here and that she wants to move here for a lot of the reasons that I say. I joke that she likes the well dressed men, and she says yeah, and compliments me on my style. I return the compliment and we talk some more. I talk about growing up in the suburbs and how whenever you start dating people, everyone immediately finds out, and how I don't like that. She buys into this and mentions how much she likes the anonymity of the city, great she's totally bought into the discretion frame here. We talk some more, discuss our mutual love of traveling and trading some stories.

We were sharing drinks, and she's finished her half of one, and says I should finish the other half, which she didn't drink her full half. I tell her, "I can tell you're trying to get me drunk, nice try, I'm not that easy ;)", and she laughs and enjoys. I tell her some of my hobbies that we focused on spinal alignment. She straightens up, leaving room between her back and the wall, and I use it as an excuse to rub her back to make sure it's aligned. She's totally comfortable. She's also wearing a ring and I hold it and her hand and ask her about it.

After I finish drinks, I suggest we go somewhere else. She says sure, and looks at her watch, it's 8:45, and I can tell she's keeping an eye on the clock. We go to a place and I do the tip that was suggested in my other FR, basically holding her around the shoulder and pulling her close, and she reciprocates and is holding me back. We walk to the next place and I use the bathroom. When I get back, she's sitting at the edge of the booth, and I tell her to scooch in, so I can sit next to her, and she happily moves in. I put my arm around her and we talk some more. I pull her in every now and then, and eventually we finish our wine.

She says that she should get going, and suggests I walk her to her place if it's on the way, but it isn't (and she doesn't have her own room so terrible logistics there). I suggest we walk back past my place first and call her an uber from there. She agrees and we walk, and I have my arm around her for most of the walk back. We reach my place and she goes to call an uber. She asks me whether my apartment is nice, and I tell her it is, and ask her if she wants to come check it out (in retrospect a better invite would have been to tell her to come inside and check it out, and that we could call an uber from inside). I also should have persisted by saying that 9:45 was far too early to be tucking in.

She called the uber and I hugged her, and she came close to me and looked me in the eye and I could tell that I probably could kiss her. I didn't though, and I'm not sure whether this was the right move. I'm not trying to kiss her good night, I want to bring her home and give her a different kind of night to remember. Unfortunately, does not look like it will work out this time.

Not planning to text her first, since even though she's interning, she wants to move out here permanently and I'm not looking for anything more than a one night stand.

If she texts me I'll suggest another meetup and see where that goes.
 
Last edited:

Pitcher

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
123
Location
North Carolina, USA
She asks me whether my apartment is nice

I think as soon as she said these words you could have taken her hand and said something along the lines of 'let's go up for a minute and see'. Especially if she has reciprocated your kino throughout the night and you already had her complying walking you to your place. Or make up something about reorganizing a room or getting a new table, sofa, etc. and wanting her opinion about it. Maybe a little more assertiveness in the moment right after she said that line would have gotten you the close.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
Agreed with Alchemy. You should have gone for the invite home. It is much better to move fast, and I'm learning that even if a girl declines her interest for you rarely decreases (unless you made other mistakes).

Great job though getting this one out on a date from cold approach. Most guys can't claim to have ever done this, so those of us on this path are already in the 1% of guys who have the drive and ambition to succeed. I have no doubt you will continue improving.
 

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
896
Completely agree with both of you here. Next time I’ll remember.
 
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