FR  Walked home a married woman

TL;DR: Walked her home, didn't go in. Got the cheek. I don't label it FU because there's still plenty of possibility to make this work.

In the evening, I sparred with Married Woman again. While I was changing clothes one room away, I heard her greet another man in high spirits. She seems to like him a lot too. Most of the girls do. I decided to completely ignore that. When I walked in and stood next to her, I told her she was very cheerful, because she greeted me like that too. She told me about her two cats, and asked me if I had any pets. I barely remembered to qualify her by saying "I'm a cat person too, I like that you have them".

We sparred, and as usual there was plenty of touch. Then as she walked out I thought I had just missed her, but when I came out the door, she came out of the toilet room. We almost bumped into eachother (well, not really) and she apologised.

Note: she apologises all the time during sparring for no real reason: is this an IOI?

Outside, we talked a bit and she started to tell me (again) where she lived. I said "why don't you show me". And she said (to my surprise) "sure".
So I walked her home. While we walked, she told me about herself. She's of Polish-German descent, has been married for 17 years. She said she had it rough in the beginning with few friends when she moved to my country.

When she said she was married, I said "that's too bad" and she responded with a reaction of "shock", I don't know how else to call it. I also experienced the same when I asked another woman for her phone number during our first conversation.

When I said that she said "well, you never know", alluding to there being possibilities for us.

Anyway, she has a daughter. She said she married too young (interesting!). And she asked me about myself. I asked "what would you like to know?" and she asked (again!) if I was married or had a girlfriend. I said "not at the moment", which she interpreted as "only sometimes not", which I can live with (there's a small language barrier). She then actually verbalised that she likes me, which is why she was telling me so much about herself. I then reciprocated by saying "I like you too, you're different".

When we arrived at her house, she stood at an awkward angle where my bike was almost in between us. She again asked if we could spar next week on Monday as well. I made a little joke saying she was trying to reserve me for the rest of the year. No real response (she never really laughs at my jokes). She looked at me and I leaned in to kiss her (maybe too awkward, with too much space between us? Maybe try to pull her into me next time and/or look at her lips first to see if she's up for it).

She offered me the cheek but still she had a big smile on her face. I'm not sure I handled that right. First off, we were in her street and somebody might see us. Second, the moment maybe wasn't right. Next time I might ask her "why don't you show me some of your clothes" (she makes those) or "aren't you going to offer me a drink, I've come all this way". Better yet, I should prepare better and ask her if there's anybody home. Likely her daughter and/or husband were home.

I already explained to her exactly where I live in the beginning of the conversation, but I could try next time to show her where I live (which makes sense now that she's shown me where she lives) and then invite her in and seal the deal.

NOTES:

• Qualifying is starting to slowly become a bit of a habit, but I need to work on it more.
• I like how I smoothly handled her guiding me to her house. This is good instinct. I still need to work on trying to get her to invite me in, without being pushy.
• I understand better what people mean when they say logistics are important: I should've first checked if she was home alone.
• I've been going for the kiss too soon as a sort of overcompensation for years of not making any move at all. This is starting to be a sticking point. Last woman I dated didn't want to kiss either, giving me the cheek every time. And my first ever instadate didn't want to kiss at all.
• I deep dived a bit (or better said, she deep dived herself) but I can work on doing this some more.
• I need to open up more myself. What should I talk about though?
• Did not make any sexual comments. So far she hasn't really shown any response when I did though. Except one time when I made a comment not directly to or about her.
• I did touch her plenty during our walk (as I've also been doing during training).
• I want to ask her what specifically she likes about me. Maybe wait until we're in bed together?
• I forgot to exchange phone numbers. Not crucial because I see her twice a week, but it might be nice for her to be able to order some takeout fuckboy if she's home alone.

Everyone, please, educate me! What did I do right & wrong?

Oh, it just occurred to me that I didn't mention this in the FR. I know there is not much sex talk but I did try to allude to it. I mentioned to her that I liked training, because it's good for your body... and gives you good stamina. It was subtle but it might've triggered something. Because I have a feeling she loves my energy when I go all out during training. Because you know, that might come in handy elsewhere too

Note to self: try to make such comments to her directly. Be clearer in your intent. No wishy-washy bullshit.

Quick update on this: today I saw her again when I came into the gym, she was talking with another girl. She acknowledged me but not in a super happy way. I was a bit down myself due to a lack of sleep and being bored at work.

For some reason the warming up was different and I found myself with another partner. I saw her, and she didn't look at me once. Maybe she was trying to avoid me? Anyway, after the warming up we did a different exercise and I took the excuse to look over at her and make the "you and me?" gesture and she nodded. So we ended up together. The exercise we did allowed for plenty of contact and she was all giggly again. It's so wonderful to see her get in her feminine. I got hard just from our interaction. At some point I noticed she had a patch on her finger so I asked what she'd done. She giggled again (for noticing such small things, perhaps) but she avoided answering.

After training I walked out past her (as she was talking to another guy). I said bye to the room and looked at her from the side (not turning my head completely but definitely a look). I strolled out at a leasurely pace, and what do you know, she came out just as I was unlocking my bike. She called out my name and said she was by bike today as well. I then casually said "you know what, we forgot to exchange phone numbers last week". She looked at me confused or questioningly and I clarified with a nonsense statement "so we can call eachother" (I got to quit that shit out and be more direct. Last girl I told this happily gave me her number but her interest dwindled after a few dates). Anyway, she asked if it was okay to give it to me on Wednesday. I said sure. She then wanted to explain more, but another guy came to get his bike and she looked at me and started to say something and I simply said "it's okay, I understand". This showed some situational awareness (she's still a married woman and she doesn't want to be too obvious about it).

Presumably, on Wednesday she's going to slip me her number on a note with hours during which I can reach her. I think I may get this woman to cheat on her husband with me if I play my cards right.

I stood next to her again at the start of the training. She asked me how my weekend had been. As I started to tell about it, then she hurriedly said "I mean I didn't ask you on Monday". We sparred and she was nervously laughing a lot. I stayed relaxed and stoic and made a bit of fun of her (but very very lightly). Mostly I just had an amused smile on my face because of her shenanigans. She then told me she had her phone number. I didn't understand what she said, and she told me again and we should talk later, "not now". Then she was all hush hush and saying it was a secret. She then said she would like us to be friends. I said "I hope a little more than that" and she then continued smiling and said something again about friendship and we can see where it goes. Later she commented that I had really strong hands. I simply said "I know" without making a big deal out of it. I could have made an innuendo but I thought it would be too much. Let her fantasize, she's doing enough chasing for me to sit back and relax I think.

Then at the end of the training I left and I made eye contact with her and she cut off her conversation with some other dude and followed me. She was a little clumsy about the phone number and I suggested I could go with her again. Then we stopped just after a crossing and she said maybe we shouldn't go further together. I said "yeah I thought the same last time", indicating that I understood that she has to be careful. She then said something like "I don't usually give men my phone number, but there's something about you" (which was music to my ears of course). I confirmed again that I liked her too. Note that I didn't do anything special. This must all be due to my fundamentals, combined with the fact that there is a lot of contact during our sparring sessions, and she can really feel my strength (and I'm also gentle and careful).

She told me she was very direct (I responded by "I can tell!") and that she really liked me and thought I was a "good man" (note: does that translate as nice guy? Or does it mean she thinks I'm hot yet safe?). She made it seem like she wasn't planning on going further with me than just "friends", but I let her talk. Actions are stronger than words and she was giving me her phone number along with her vacation days and which hours to call her (during lunch break and after work).

She asked if I had my phone with me and if I could give her a ring so she had my number as well. She also said she would like to meet up at a bar or something with her friends. I then said "I would much rather meet up just with you", in a relaxed way. She continued about her being married for 17 years and that she isn't the type to have affairs, and that I was doing nothing wrong because I was single.

Then she said something peculiar: she basically said "well, this is a bit weird maybe but I like you as a second option" or something. So I laughed and said "a backup, if you will?". Well, I'm certainly not going to let her string me along as a beta provider to take care of her and her daughter if she breaks up with her husband. She asked where I live and if I have women over. I said "once in a while" with a sly smile, not in a braggy way and matter-of-factly (which is not even a lie). I tried to stay as casual with her as possible and told her that she wasn't doing anything wrong and that anyone can do anything they want.

Finally, she said she was going to leave, and stuck out her arms and leaned in, so I mirrored and she went for a kiss which was a bit awkward because our lips only half-touched. It was halfway between a friendship kiss on the cheek and a lover's kiss. I don't know if I misinterpreted it and/or should have gone for a full kiss on the lips or if this was exactly what she was going for and me reading her correctly.

Notes/questions:

• Overall I have a feeling that she is constantly taking the lead. However, I'm just pushing the ball forward just enough by suggesting I walk her home and then suggesting we exchange phone numbers. I'd like to know if this is good or bad. It seems to work for this particular woman but it runs counter to all advice I've been reading.
• Her suggesting meeting up with friends in a bar and being "just friends" is probably a stupid shit test. I don't know if I passed it or failed it.
• I wonder when I should call her. Her vacation starts on Friday, so if I call, it should be tomorrow during lunch or after work, or after her vacation. I'm leaning towards after work. It's not as try-hard as calling during lunchtime and it's also not too uninterested to wait until her vacation is gone. Also, I can leave it to her to call back during her vacation, letting her chase some more.
• I should be bolder, dare to make a sexual comment and innuendo once in a while.
• I'd like to more eloquently convey that I'm non-judgmental and think there's nothing wrong with her cheating on her husband. Now I basically mumbled something about her not doing anything wrong and letting her do all the maneuvering to make it seem okay.
• I made excellent eye contact (looking deeply in her eyes in a soft way) and stayed completely relaxed.