FR  social night out with co-worker

An interesting thing happened to me yesterday. A co-worker who I've always found beautiful (intimidatingly so, even!) invited me to come to a social event with her friends (and boyfriend), as a spur of the moment kind of thing. I decided to go along with it, as I had nothing better to do. The night itself was kind of fun, but not spectacular. This is hopefully a great start of making female friends. I'll put her in the friend zone, haha

I've been focusing on offering value and bringing fun instead of laying back and letting other people do the work, like ElderPrice and ThePhoenix suggested. Still struggling to do this, but this event may be the universe's way of telling me I'm on the right track.

This happened after I saw her talking outside to a super over-gamey co-worker who was chatting her up as she on her way to the event. He's always trying really hard to make her and other women laugh. She was laughing in an animated way at his jokes, so at first I thought he was having a lot of success and was even unsure whether to disturb them. I initially saw them standing in one place, and as I looked again a few seconds later, they'd moved (her with a bike, him walking with her) into a direction away from his house. I think she really wanted to get away from him, and I sort of "rescued" her. I joined them and asked them what's up. Then the guy looked at me with a bit of a confused/angry look in his eyes (hahaha, sucker) but still a half-smile on his face from the interaction with her. Then I said "I'm going this way, why not come along?" and she came with me like that. She didn't even mention the guy (and neither did I).

I felt a bit like a dick about it for an instant, but really I was actually also laughing on the inside and thinking "holy shit, I just cock blocked this guy like a total alpha". Well, technically it's not even a cock block, she's happy with her boyfriend (she was caressing him a few times). But still!

After talking only a little bit (not even 2 minutes, I think), I asked about the event she was going to and she said "would you like to join?" and I first asked "what, tonight?" (it's a recurring thing), and then said "sure, why not?". This made me even more smug since she asked me and not the guy trying to make her laugh! I think I only made fun of her a handful of times at the office. We don't even interact all that much.

Note: A few days ago, I also noticed this over-gamey colleague hard at work on another woman at the office (who is truly cute). She was also laughing at his jokes a lot and joked back at him, but I noticed that her body was actually turned away from him. I really need to pay attention to body language, it says a lot more than the interaction itself.

I've always mostly just ignored this girl at work (because like I said, I was honestly rather intimidated by her looks, which makes me withdraw and get in my head). For some strange reason, I find her beautiful but not hot, if that even means anything. As in, my core being isn't drawn to her and I don't have sexual fantasies with her, like I've had with other women who are far less beautiful. This is a new concept for me, I always thought the more beautiful a woman is, the more desirable I would (or should?) find her. Social conditioning?

Anyway, in her group of friends there was only one woman who I didn't find very interesting. The night was fun and she even asked me today how I enjoyed it, so that's a good sign, I'd think.

I still feel rather "stuck" actually making progress with women I'm interested in, but we'll see how things go. Just having beautiful friends should help my game in new ways. And having friends at all in this town is great too.

NOTE: I wasn't sure if I should post this in my journal or in the field reports. I think it may be good to put it here because I sort of "stole" her from my co-worker's perspective (and rescued her, from her perspective). Maybe people can offer some insights as I still feel lost in the vast beyond outside of my comfort zone

Being able to look past the surface beauty of a woman is a great source of power. As you acclimate to being around attractive women you find your mind isn't as clogged with sex desire, and you can focus on enjoying yourself. Kind of the same way being in a relationship you enjoy makes you more attractive to women. Lack of neediness if you will. It also makes you more able to spot red flags in a woman.