Hey guys,
A few days ago I met a girl on the subway and we went on a date tonight. Upon meeting her there was immediate sexual tension--one of those times when you think youd be better off skipping the date and going straight to bed.
During the date we would stare at each other grinning since we both knew it was "on". Also, I set a strong sexual frame that "we both wanted the same outcome
and we would help each other get there." She readily agreed to this.
As the date progressed we were sotting next to each other, legs touching, and intermittently holding hands while drinking wine. I was so sure of this pull, and it seemed like there was nothing i could do to not screw her tonight. It seemed like she wanted it just as much as I did.
About an hour in, she said that she really likes cookies. I say I know a great balery around here and we should get some. She happily agrees.
We get up to leave the bar and this is where my soaring airplane gets massacred out of the sky by a heat-seaking rocket launcher.
Im leading her out of the bar and say:
In the future I should probably lie and say I live right near by and then just order an Uber.
At this point Im getting really anxious because I know a good pull should be concise and under the radar and definitive. I was getting some LMR from her and may be making too many concessions at this point.
I persist a little more for each option (my place or hers) but i still get LMR, so then im in this weird situation where I say we should go to a liquor store and pick up a bottle of wine to drink in private.
We're in the liquor store looking at the wine now:
Well spin me around and fuck my sideways boys..... if there's any post that deserves to be a FU its this one....
In a matter or minutes I went from sitting next to a hot girl, both of use feeling like "its on", to frustrating her and letting her down by making her go home by herself.
Analysis
I feel like this situation has happened to me before. If i had to guess, it was probably due to my level of persistence, decisiveness, and leadership early on in the pull.
When being asked so many questions by her about our "plan" I think i can ignore these and just take action.
I think I am missing an understanding of female psychology during the pull. There was some unmet psychological need in the girl, requiring her to give me hints or get me to say something (that which I am unsure of).
I really have no fucking clue what unmet need this girl had, and it is so frustrating knowing that i disappointed her by making her go home alone....
This scenario has happened to me before: where i give a vague "wink wink" description of our plan, and the girl starts hounding me with questions regarding the practical, logistical aspects of our plan.
The way I see it there are two options:
1. i need to SAY LESS and just take action
2. i need to say more because the girl needs some reassurance
Regarding option 1, she gave me a pretty firm "no" to go back to my place. That is why i conceded and switched the plan to her place.
I think option 1 is the correct answer and my knowledge deficiency lies in persistence and addressing objections. I THINK i shouldve listened very closely as to the reasons why she did not want to go back to my place and address those logically one-by-one.
Anyways, I really need help with this one boys. Never want to have this happen again....
Cheers,
BigS
A few days ago I met a girl on the subway and we went on a date tonight. Upon meeting her there was immediate sexual tension--one of those times when you think youd be better off skipping the date and going straight to bed.
During the date we would stare at each other grinning since we both knew it was "on". Also, I set a strong sexual frame that "we both wanted the same outcome
and we would help each other get there." She readily agreed to this. As the date progressed we were sotting next to each other, legs touching, and intermittently holding hands while drinking wine. I was so sure of this pull, and it seemed like there was nothing i could do to not screw her tonight. It seemed like she wanted it just as much as I did.
About an hour in, she said that she really likes cookies. I say I know a great balery around here and we should get some. She happily agrees.
We get up to leave the bar and this is where my soaring airplane gets massacred out of the sky by a heat-seaking rocket launcher.
Im leading her out of the bar and say:
In the future I should probably lie and say I live right near by and then just order an Uber.
Her: im NOT going all the way up there
Me: okay lets go to yours.
Her: my what?
Me: yours!
At this point Im getting really anxious because I know a good pull should be concise and under the radar and definitive. I was getting some LMR from her and may be making too many concessions at this point.
I persist a little more for each option (my place or hers) but i still get LMR, so then im in this weird situation where I say we should go to a liquor store and pick up a bottle of wine to drink in private.
We're in the liquor store looking at the wine now:
Well spin me around and fuck my sideways boys..... if there's any post that deserves to be a FU its this one....
In a matter or minutes I went from sitting next to a hot girl, both of use feeling like "its on", to frustrating her and letting her down by making her go home by herself.
Analysis
I feel like this situation has happened to me before. If i had to guess, it was probably due to my level of persistence, decisiveness, and leadership early on in the pull.
When being asked so many questions by her about our "plan" I think i can ignore these and just take action.
I think I am missing an understanding of female psychology during the pull. There was some unmet psychological need in the girl, requiring her to give me hints or get me to say something (that which I am unsure of).
I really have no fucking clue what unmet need this girl had, and it is so frustrating knowing that i disappointed her by making her go home alone....
This scenario has happened to me before: where i give a vague "wink wink" description of our plan, and the girl starts hounding me with questions regarding the practical, logistical aspects of our plan.
The way I see it there are two options:
1. i need to SAY LESS and just take action
2. i need to say more because the girl needs some reassurance
Regarding option 1, she gave me a pretty firm "no" to go back to my place. That is why i conceded and switched the plan to her place.
I think option 1 is the correct answer and my knowledge deficiency lies in persistence and addressing objections. I THINK i shouldve listened very closely as to the reasons why she did not want to go back to my place and address those logically one-by-one.
Anyways, I really need help with this one boys. Never want to have this happen again....
Cheers,
BigS