FU  failed to enforce the hookup frame

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
ya, there was this girl who was looking for a "hot one night." an important part of the convo:

girl: are you gonna buy me a drink before this massage tho?
fog: no but u can buy me one
girl: what about food?
girl: ill buy u a drink if u buy me food.
fog: sounds like a half decent tradeoff
girl: deal

this particular exchange had nothing to do with her testing me for compliance or anything, even tho i treated it as such. she simply was wanting to get to know me before hooking up. not sure what i was thinking, as this does not fit within the hookup frame and i should have enforced it by saying no or at least saying "we'll drink at mine"

the consequences of this particular exchange came back to bite me in the ass.

a few days later, we made plans to meet at her place that night. there was no objection from her for this. usually when i discuss the meetup location is when the girl starts objecting if she has a problem with a hookup. because there was no objection, i fell under the assumption that our previous conversation about "getting to know each other" was void. after all, she could have had a change of mind, right?

wrong. we had made plans for 930pm. listen guys, im turning into an old man and go to bed by 1030 every night. so i was already tired and thought about flaking on her. ps when im tired my vibe gets thrown off heavy and im very prone to interaction-destroying mistakes

welll she gave me her address and floor number but not her apartment number, saying there were locked doors and that shed have to come and get me from the lobby. i suspected this was some sort of screening process she was trying to do. i thought she'd just meet me in the lobby and test me a little bit, i was prepared for that.

well...i showed up, no locked doors. she met me in the lobby and we go into her apartment. i thought i was in the clear. then:

girl: keep your shoes on. we're going to get food, im starving

WHAT?

nooooooo!

ok, i thought that we'd be getting some fast food or something. she disappeared into the closet in her room to change her clothes. i went into her room. when she appeared from the closet, i walked towards her. my plan was to kiss her neck or escalate in some way before leaving. BUT as i was walking towards her, she flinched heavily. like she was startled and scared. i backed off.

so we leave and we go to this sit down restaurant. NO NO NO. its way past my bedtime and i do not want to sit around talking with this girl, i just want to fuck.

shes not liking me and i can imagine its due to my overly serious, sort of unnerving demeanor. i tell her im going to the bathroom and just leave, which was mean.

ive been using a slightly less strong sexual frame initially in online game which appeals to a wider range of girls. however now i must learn the new behaviors and reactions of girls to my new strategy, and properly calibrate for it

in this case, i neglected to enforce the hookup frame and the girl took me for a walk in the park. little bit disappointed in myself as i should have known better.
 
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