- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Hey guys,
So if you've been reading my Journal, I met a girl through my church group. We weren't able to meet for a while because I had finals, but we were able to meet at the church group again (which meets once a week). She autoinvests and for the first week texted me pretty often first. She also eventually asked if we could talk on the phone, and after reading Chase's article on the connection call, I agreed. The call went great and she showed more interest afterwards.
When we met at the church group, I talked with her about an hour or so after the meeting ended. We started light then I invited her over to my car to show her my camera (which she asked to see). I got her to move around a lot and come closer when I motioned for her to. We got into deeper topics and she asked what I thought about premarital sex - of course, I was fine with it. After deep diving a bit more, we got into a solid discussion on sex (I had isolated her in the coffee area and she was very open with me).
I found out she's a virgin and had a 3 year sexless relationship with her previous boyfriend. However, she's also new to her faith and very committed to God, but also very sexual. She struggled with masturbation and porn and did sexting and other things. The most she ever did with her previous boyfriend was a 10 second blow job - which she felt bad about afterwards. So she's very conflicted about being sexual yet a christian - especially because they jam not having sex before marriage down her throat.
We talked a bit more and I was open (more or less) about my thoughts - her being sexual is perfectly fine. Her being a christian is also perfectly fine. Of course, she eventually brought up boyfriend-zoning topics - people should take it slow and get to know each other. Also more philosophical topics why like god made us sexual beings if we were to wait until marriage to have sex. I framed it more in my favor and eventually she ran out of boyfriend zoning topics - ending on it depends on how many girls a guy has been with.
Anyways we planned for coffee yesterday. However, she texted me that she had to pick up and drop off her siblings an hour later so I (wrongly) assumed she wanted to wait so I asked what she was doing afterwards (thinking ahead that I don't want just an hour with her). Come to find out she went to meet me for coffee and was very upset I didn't show up. Luckily, after a few back-and-forth phone calls - and her almost saying "forget it" - I got her to calm down about it. The rest of the day for me was horrible for other reasons. Since then, I teased her a bit and she's back to teasing me (over text). We'll probably plan to get together again sometime in the next few days (I'll text her tomorrow since I busy the rest of today).
Anyways, my past experience is telling me the obvious that talking about sex != (doesn't equal) sex. Since she's so conflicted I knew I had to reframe some things (during our deep dive). Looking back on two previous girls I dated, because we had talked so much about sex and never actually had sex - it became the issue that caused things to end (with them saying they don't want sex). Considering she had a previous sexless relationship (which I don't want), but yet is so sexual - how can I not get caught up in talking about sex (literally - not sex talk) and get to having sex?
My thought is to use a bit of sex talk with reframing to get her horny in person (likely in my car after a quick meet for coffee - I figure we've had enough face time that if its going to happen (sex) it'll happen and if not, then it likely won't ever) and then to escalate physically. Her being so conflicted might make it harder on me than needs to be, but I want to try and overcome this (and get laid and free her to be her sexual self).
Has anyone had any experience with this or have any suggestions? My focus right now is to get her out for coffee then take her to a nearby Frisbee golf place (she's really active and loves the outdoors) with a more empty parking lot. I'd then bring up before getting out of the car that I know this christian girl who's conflicted because she's christian but also very sexual and open (asking her opinion on the situation). I'd then say that if she was to ask me she needs a man who can accept both sides of her - a man who can (go into sex talk gambit) because what she really wants is to be accepted for who she is not who people tell her she needs to be. This would hopefully get her horny or thinking about sex and then I could kiss her and transition to escalating physically, transitioning her to the back of my car. That's what my plan currently is - let me know what you guys think.
Thanks for reading,
NBW
So if you've been reading my Journal, I met a girl through my church group. We weren't able to meet for a while because I had finals, but we were able to meet at the church group again (which meets once a week). She autoinvests and for the first week texted me pretty often first. She also eventually asked if we could talk on the phone, and after reading Chase's article on the connection call, I agreed. The call went great and she showed more interest afterwards.
When we met at the church group, I talked with her about an hour or so after the meeting ended. We started light then I invited her over to my car to show her my camera (which she asked to see). I got her to move around a lot and come closer when I motioned for her to. We got into deeper topics and she asked what I thought about premarital sex - of course, I was fine with it. After deep diving a bit more, we got into a solid discussion on sex (I had isolated her in the coffee area and she was very open with me).
I found out she's a virgin and had a 3 year sexless relationship with her previous boyfriend. However, she's also new to her faith and very committed to God, but also very sexual. She struggled with masturbation and porn and did sexting and other things. The most she ever did with her previous boyfriend was a 10 second blow job - which she felt bad about afterwards. So she's very conflicted about being sexual yet a christian - especially because they jam not having sex before marriage down her throat.
We talked a bit more and I was open (more or less) about my thoughts - her being sexual is perfectly fine. Her being a christian is also perfectly fine. Of course, she eventually brought up boyfriend-zoning topics - people should take it slow and get to know each other. Also more philosophical topics why like god made us sexual beings if we were to wait until marriage to have sex. I framed it more in my favor and eventually she ran out of boyfriend zoning topics - ending on it depends on how many girls a guy has been with.
Anyways we planned for coffee yesterday. However, she texted me that she had to pick up and drop off her siblings an hour later so I (wrongly) assumed she wanted to wait so I asked what she was doing afterwards (thinking ahead that I don't want just an hour with her). Come to find out she went to meet me for coffee and was very upset I didn't show up. Luckily, after a few back-and-forth phone calls - and her almost saying "forget it" - I got her to calm down about it. The rest of the day for me was horrible for other reasons. Since then, I teased her a bit and she's back to teasing me (over text). We'll probably plan to get together again sometime in the next few days (I'll text her tomorrow since I busy the rest of today).
Anyways, my past experience is telling me the obvious that talking about sex != (doesn't equal) sex. Since she's so conflicted I knew I had to reframe some things (during our deep dive). Looking back on two previous girls I dated, because we had talked so much about sex and never actually had sex - it became the issue that caused things to end (with them saying they don't want sex). Considering she had a previous sexless relationship (which I don't want), but yet is so sexual - how can I not get caught up in talking about sex (literally - not sex talk) and get to having sex?
My thought is to use a bit of sex talk with reframing to get her horny in person (likely in my car after a quick meet for coffee - I figure we've had enough face time that if its going to happen (sex) it'll happen and if not, then it likely won't ever) and then to escalate physically. Her being so conflicted might make it harder on me than needs to be, but I want to try and overcome this (and get laid and free her to be her sexual self).
Has anyone had any experience with this or have any suggestions? My focus right now is to get her out for coffee then take her to a nearby Frisbee golf place (she's really active and loves the outdoors) with a more empty parking lot. I'd then bring up before getting out of the car that I know this christian girl who's conflicted because she's christian but also very sexual and open (asking her opinion on the situation). I'd then say that if she was to ask me she needs a man who can accept both sides of her - a man who can (go into sex talk gambit) because what she really wants is to be accepted for who she is not who people tell her she needs to be. This would hopefully get her horny or thinking about sex and then I could kiss her and transition to escalating physically, transitioning her to the back of my car. That's what my plan currently is - let me know what you guys think.
Thanks for reading,
NBW