OR  Pulls that make SENSE

BigS

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
140
Hey guys,

Recently I asked a girl to a dace at my medical school. She agreed and its one week away so we've been texting here and there.

In order to remove pressure from the day of the dance in terms of us having sex afterwards, I called her today and proposed that we hang out in my apartment before that day:

Me: deep dive, chit chat
Her: warm to me, laughing
Me: lets hang out before the day of the dance.
Her: okay, when?
Me: umm, when are you free?
Her: we could do Friday
Me: okay great
Her: what are we going to do?

That last question....is the subject of my post. I didnt have any clear idea of what we were "going to do" because in actuality my plan is just to fuck her.

Obviously, I cant say that....

I have read the articles on GC about pulling, and they advocate for sating anything. From "i have a really cool ceiling" to "i have a view i want to show you" to "lets grab a night cap/a REAL cocktail".

These "excuses" have always sounded fine to me, but it never comes out naturally because I know im not being honest. Plus, I still get a little anxious when going for the pull.

So heres what i said:

Me: we'll get a drink and figure it out from there :)
Her: ....okay

I could feel the gears of her logical mind running. This is because literally im going to pour her a drink and fuck her.

Therefore, Im looking for help regarding what to say during the pull. I dont want to activate her logical mind or anti-slut defense.

Does anyone have any suggestions for this problem? Saying anything but the truth just feels WRONG to me!

Please help,

BigS
 

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
think about the most common objections that a woman would present in this situation. then use them against her.

girl: what are we going to do?
BigS: hold on, youre not a serial killer right?
girl: no, i swear!
BigS: im trusting you. so anyways, we will listen to music and get to know each other.
girl: sounds like fun :)
BigS: just please dont try to come on to me too strong. im saving myself for marriage ;p

the serial killer and no sex till marriage thing are my staples for less direct situations (i know you wanna be honest but dont think its the right approach for the meta frame youve set). theyre great. by using them, you take all the power and set a nice chase frame that makes you intriguing to the girl. you also give her some plausible deniability.

also...the minute i started using these, i got a lot less anxious during the pull
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,453
I think it depends on the girl, what her experience / expectations are, and what she wants at that moment.

Experienced or not, the girl knows that it's getting closer to sex. Plausible Deniability is a work-around her logical mind, which would have Anti-Slut Defense if you were just to say, "you want to come to my house and have me cock slap you before anal?".

You can go explicit and tell her you want to fuck her brains out. That works, too.

With or without plausible deniability, it all depends whether she's okay with things getting closer to sex (going to your house for ANY reason).


Maybe she's really hoping it will work out with you two fucking, in that case she'll eagerly agree.

Maybe part of her wants to but she isn't fully comfortable yet. So she gives you a hesitant yes, or no. If yes, you still have work to put in to make her more comfortable before really escalating. If a no, then obviously you still have some boundaries to overcome.

Or you're really not working with her emotions just yet and ASD jumps out immediately, or she's really just not down.

These "excuses" have always sounded fine to me, but it never comes out naturally because I know im not being honest. Plus, I still get a little anxious when going for the pull.
If it's in person, your delivery should be communicating that it's not JUST a drink. Then you are being honest, as communication is multi-faceted. It's implied.

You're still getting the kinks out of being anxious then. Doing it with confidence is part of the reason she might be down to go home with you. This is both because 1). it displays value to confidentially ask a girl home and 2). confidentially stating just about anything is setting a frame which she will likely be influenced by and accept.


So yea bro. Plausible Deniability is more like a fun game to me at this point. Both parties know what's going on. If the girl is inexperienced then it does lean a bit more to REALLY dealing with her logical brain, as you need to guide inexperienced girls through the seduction more. Experienced girls usually know they're being seduced and are okay with it.


Hue
 

BigS

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
140
fog and Hue,

Thanks for the explanations fellas. Yes im still a bit nervous when it comes to pulling especially since this girl is in my social circle so i dont want to fuck it up.

Im just going to hash out my thoughts with regard to what I think you two are communicating.

Continue Flirting

For fog, this seems to be in the form of a chase frame. For Hue, this seems to be with nonverbals (raised eye brows, squinty eyes, and a cheeky smile).

In a sense, I would argue that these are both chase frames because the nonverbals are saying "I just told you we'll just have a drink, but you're thinking about sex you dirty girl- how could you!"

I didnt continue to flirt and the mood got serious and awkward. She agreed but there was some unnecessary hesitation.

I think what flirting does is handles her emotions, which brings me to....

Dominance

Its no secret that girls like a dominant man in the bedroom. During the pull, she is likely to know what is about to happen, so the pull is her first clue as to whether you will be dominant in the bedroom.

During my pulls, I tend to ask with a flat vocal tone while looking off somewhere as if the whole ordeal is one big shrug.

I think this implies dominance through implied experience. It communicates that I do this regularly.

However, I think the real dominant move during the pull is handling her emotions/hesitations.

Flirting is a good way of doing this as it makes her feel more comfortable. It is dominant to handle her emotions during transition points.

Just doing a quick GC search, Chase describes a dominant man as having 3 qualities. They are:

  • 1. He wins
    2. He knows the right goal
    3. He accepts responsibility and interdependence.

Lets apply these qualities to the example of flirting during a pull. A dominant man would:

  • 1. Know that we wants to pull the girl.
    2. Have a plan for how he is going to pull the girl.
    3. Pulls while accepting responsibility for her emotions.
    4. Wins :p

I think i got a jolt of testosterone just writing that list....

I think number 3 in the above list is where I could improve. I think handling her emotions during the pull communicates MANY dominant things, such as:

  • 1. You understand what limitations society has imposed on girls in how they express their sexuality.
    2. You understand how she is feeling at that given point in time.
    3. You are socially savvy enough to work around the constraints that society has bestowed upon her.
    4. You can navigate around these social constraints with ease and confidence.
    5. You really "get her" and know that she wants sex just as much as you do.

Wow, im exhausted. Bottom line is flirting and handling her emotions during the pull communicates that you understand her predicament and are able lead her through it with ease in a way that she enjoys.

OMG, she is such a SLUT!!!

I think this is the perspective that I am missing during my pulls: girls want sex, but they've probably been called a slut before by other girls, or are afraid of being called one in the future. This is what society dictates.

Now that I understand this, I can better help girls during pulls to address this concern that they most likely have.

Thank you guys for helping me understand this better!

BigS
 
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