This is the most informative Fuck Up I ever had. The initial write up is confined somewhere in my Journal, and I want to share it as a proper Field Report in the hope that others learn a couple of things from it.
In August 2015, I was already about one year into my learning of seduction and dating. I had had already a few successes, but I was still missing an important part of the seducer mindset. Until the experience I want to relate here. It was the most monumental fuck up I ever had in my GC years, but at the same time the most informative failed date and the most valuable lesson. That day I eventually, finally got it.
Carla. Meeting and first date
It was on a Saturday morning, and the girl I had been dating a couple of times before had now turned crazy mad on me. There was no way I would stay alone. So, I opened my WeChat app, turned on the “People Nearby” feature, and started opening about 10 girls. Among them was Carla, 37, pretty, looking 5 years younger and a lot of sensuality. Her profile reads "Don't add me, I won't accept. Not interested" but I deliberately chose to ignore this and sent her a friend invitation anyway.
She accepted immediately. After a little basic get-to-know chat, I proposed her an evening out, to which she answered she has already something committed tonight. "Alright, we do that another time", I said, and throughout the day while busy on various errands, I kept a low intensity chat with her... Until 5 pm, when I reengaged her by text:
By 8pm the same evening, we met for the first time in a crowded place. All around, everybody’s eyes were on her. She was tall, thin, long black hair, almost a model, and she was wearing a tight red trousers and black shirt showing bare shoulders, nice and pretty. Definitely doesn't look her 37.
In these days, I was still experimenting with creating tension, and my game tonight consisted in letting her in doubt for a little while, before releasing the tension and breaking the touch barrier. So I deliberately avoided too much smile, avoided touch, and just got her to follow me to my car. We started chatting in the car, but I was still keeping some distance intentionally. After a little drive, I parked the car at a walking distance from the Intercontinental Hotel, where my favorite date spot was - a quality lounge on a 55th floor with panoramic view.
As we walked there, she did not know the way, and at some point she deviated from the path. I then gently took her by the arm and guided her... and I noticed her very subtle sigh of relief. My technique was working, the tension built up so far was relieved when I touched her, with obvious comfort and welcome. I knew I was in! From then I held her hand and led her the rest of the way. She followed my lead very well.
We spent a nice evening with some snacks and wine. I made her talk most of the time, and as per my habitual touch routine I got increasingly physical with her as she was speaking. She was very comfortable with my touch, and from her constant preening her hair, and leaning into me, I could tell she appreciated. I also did my usual "break physical rapport" - which consists in leaving her hand alone, and seeing if she puts it back by herself into mine - and she did. Another great sign.
But it was now 11:30 pm, the next day she had to wake up at 5am to prepare for work... so time to go. I drive her back. We separate, no kissing, and we agreed we'll be in touch on Whatsapp. While I was driving back home, she was the first to text "Thank you for the wonderful night".
Wow! By my standards she liked me very much, and was quite excited by me. Let us set up a second date now.
Setting up the second date and major fuck up
The next day I called her around 8 pm. Swimming pool in my club? She was not sure about joining me. Movies? She didn't like cinema much... Damn, so now what. I kept on chatting with her. Italian restaurant? She mentioned that she didn't like much outdoor activities, and preferred indoors, like cooking. Well a hint like this, I got to take it... right? But I didn’t, how stupid of me. I just kept it open and told her I'd be back with a plan.
Two days later, mid week, I texted her and asked if she'd like to have a walk on the Corniche with me. We both like walking. But no, she wanted to be alone. Damn, the second time she refused a concrete plan to meet. I was now less confident to propose a cooking date at my home on Thursday evening. So... I decided I wanted to see more interest on her part. And also, I didn't like the chasing position I had set myself into. So I retreated a bit from the texting. With her woman's six sense, of course she felt something was off, and on Wednesday evening she texted "are you OK?" to which I answered a lame "Yes. Why?"
The next day was also radio silence on text from both end, until 6:30 pm when she finally texted first:
Major learnings
After a great first date, I fucked up massively.
* With my game and tension building, I am ready to bet that I made her fucking horny on the first date. The best chance to take her to bed would have been right after this first date
* But, given our respective jobs early the next day, the way the date was setup (starting at 8pm) made it very impractical to pull at 11:30pm. If I had setup the date earlier (7pm) and kept the date shorter, it would have been possible to pull her home by 9:30pm, giving ample time for escalation and driving her back still in time.
* I remained stubbornly blind to all the obvious signs that she wanted to be alone with me. I kept pushing for failed date models (fun dates, swimming pool, cinema, restaurant) and ignored her blatant calls for being alone together, showing her I didn’t understand women.
* I set myself in the chaser position in doing so, then had an awkward time on text trying to get myself out of it
* I lost my cool. Uber cool at all times is the name of the game
* My invitation for a cooking date came way, way too late. In fact, I was lucky enough that she kept communicating with me a whole week. Most women would have dropped way before that
* My most major failing, though, was my mindset. It was simply out of my belief system, back then, that a "quality" woman could be hoping you would lead them to sex after a couple of hours of interaction ever. The idea of a woman longing for being seduced was still foreign to me, even after years of reading Girls Chase. It is one thing to read it, it is another to experience it.
My conclusions from this experience
Understand that women want you to lead them to sex. When she’s right in front of you looking excited, she is hoping that you will make it happen. But she just can’t make it too easy or too obvious because it would be slutty.
Also, there is no guarantee that you will get the second date. It could derail for any reason before you get there. Your best chance is on the first date. Even if she has strong "not on first date" principles, you are still better off by attempting sex very early - it puts you in sexual territory, and if she likes you, she will be back for more. So, design your first dates in advance so as to lead to sexual escalation smoothly. You do that by a proper planning of the timing and the logistics.
What happened after
This was an eye opener. I got my lessons right. Three days later I took another girl on a date, I met her around 5:30pm in a coffee shop near my place. At around 7pm, I proposed her to come and cook some food at my home - and it was a walking distance. She came, we cooked, ate, and by 8:30pm she was claiming "You’re amazing!" as I was shagging her. My first first date sex ever - full LR here. And in the following weeks, I discovered that it is, in fact, very easy to do.
Seppuku
In August 2015, I was already about one year into my learning of seduction and dating. I had had already a few successes, but I was still missing an important part of the seducer mindset. Until the experience I want to relate here. It was the most monumental fuck up I ever had in my GC years, but at the same time the most informative failed date and the most valuable lesson. That day I eventually, finally got it.
Carla. Meeting and first date
It was on a Saturday morning, and the girl I had been dating a couple of times before had now turned crazy mad on me. There was no way I would stay alone. So, I opened my WeChat app, turned on the “People Nearby” feature, and started opening about 10 girls. Among them was Carla, 37, pretty, looking 5 years younger and a lot of sensuality. Her profile reads "Don't add me, I won't accept. Not interested" but I deliberately chose to ignore this and sent her a friend invitation anyway.
She accepted immediately. After a little basic get-to-know chat, I proposed her an evening out, to which she answered she has already something committed tonight. "Alright, we do that another time", I said, and throughout the day while busy on various errands, I kept a low intensity chat with her... Until 5 pm, when I reengaged her by text:
Her initial refusal could have been a simple test. But also, consistently with what I had noticed in a year of online dating, a girl is more comfortable to accept a date if you have chatted with her a little bit before. Most likely her initial refusal just meant "you will need to build more rapport before I can agree". Giving her more low intensity chat time, then persisting in a non needy way turned the deal around. Not badly done!
By 8pm the same evening, we met for the first time in a crowded place. All around, everybody’s eyes were on her. She was tall, thin, long black hair, almost a model, and she was wearing a tight red trousers and black shirt showing bare shoulders, nice and pretty. Definitely doesn't look her 37.
In these days, I was still experimenting with creating tension, and my game tonight consisted in letting her in doubt for a little while, before releasing the tension and breaking the touch barrier. So I deliberately avoided too much smile, avoided touch, and just got her to follow me to my car. We started chatting in the car, but I was still keeping some distance intentionally. After a little drive, I parked the car at a walking distance from the Intercontinental Hotel, where my favorite date spot was - a quality lounge on a 55th floor with panoramic view.
As we walked there, she did not know the way, and at some point she deviated from the path. I then gently took her by the arm and guided her... and I noticed her very subtle sigh of relief. My technique was working, the tension built up so far was relieved when I touched her, with obvious comfort and welcome. I knew I was in! From then I held her hand and led her the rest of the way. She followed my lead very well.
We spent a nice evening with some snacks and wine. I made her talk most of the time, and as per my habitual touch routine I got increasingly physical with her as she was speaking. She was very comfortable with my touch, and from her constant preening her hair, and leaning into me, I could tell she appreciated. I also did my usual "break physical rapport" - which consists in leaving her hand alone, and seeing if she puts it back by herself into mine - and she did. Another great sign.
But it was now 11:30 pm, the next day she had to wake up at 5am to prepare for work... so time to go. I drive her back. We separate, no kissing, and we agreed we'll be in touch on Whatsapp. While I was driving back home, she was the first to text "Thank you for the wonderful night".
Wow! By my standards she liked me very much, and was quite excited by me. Let us set up a second date now.
Setting up the second date and major fuck up
The next day I called her around 8 pm. Swimming pool in my club? She was not sure about joining me. Movies? She didn't like cinema much... Damn, so now what. I kept on chatting with her. Italian restaurant? She mentioned that she didn't like much outdoor activities, and preferred indoors, like cooking. Well a hint like this, I got to take it... right? But I didn’t, how stupid of me. I just kept it open and told her I'd be back with a plan.
Two days later, mid week, I texted her and asked if she'd like to have a walk on the Corniche with me. We both like walking. But no, she wanted to be alone. Damn, the second time she refused a concrete plan to meet. I was now less confident to propose a cooking date at my home on Thursday evening. So... I decided I wanted to see more interest on her part. And also, I didn't like the chasing position I had set myself into. So I retreated a bit from the texting. With her woman's six sense, of course she felt something was off, and on Wednesday evening she texted "are you OK?" to which I answered a lame "Yes. Why?"
The next day was also radio silence on text from both end, until 6:30 pm when she finally texted first:
Yessss!! except... The next day I discovered that she blocked my phone number. Whatsapp message sent but not received. The phone rings busy all the time. On Friday 21, 3:30pm I realize that the second date won't happen. Even worse, she broke diplomatic relationships as she cut all means to reach her. I had been way too long to catch the message and act on it.
Major learnings
After a great first date, I fucked up massively.
* With my game and tension building, I am ready to bet that I made her fucking horny on the first date. The best chance to take her to bed would have been right after this first date
* But, given our respective jobs early the next day, the way the date was setup (starting at 8pm) made it very impractical to pull at 11:30pm. If I had setup the date earlier (7pm) and kept the date shorter, it would have been possible to pull her home by 9:30pm, giving ample time for escalation and driving her back still in time.
* I remained stubbornly blind to all the obvious signs that she wanted to be alone with me. I kept pushing for failed date models (fun dates, swimming pool, cinema, restaurant) and ignored her blatant calls for being alone together, showing her I didn’t understand women.
* I set myself in the chaser position in doing so, then had an awkward time on text trying to get myself out of it
* I lost my cool. Uber cool at all times is the name of the game
* My invitation for a cooking date came way, way too late. In fact, I was lucky enough that she kept communicating with me a whole week. Most women would have dropped way before that
* My most major failing, though, was my mindset. It was simply out of my belief system, back then, that a "quality" woman could be hoping you would lead them to sex after a couple of hours of interaction ever. The idea of a woman longing for being seduced was still foreign to me, even after years of reading Girls Chase. It is one thing to read it, it is another to experience it.
My conclusions from this experience
Understand that women want you to lead them to sex. When she’s right in front of you looking excited, she is hoping that you will make it happen. But she just can’t make it too easy or too obvious because it would be slutty.
Also, there is no guarantee that you will get the second date. It could derail for any reason before you get there. Your best chance is on the first date. Even if she has strong "not on first date" principles, you are still better off by attempting sex very early - it puts you in sexual territory, and if she likes you, she will be back for more. So, design your first dates in advance so as to lead to sexual escalation smoothly. You do that by a proper planning of the timing and the logistics.
What happened after
This was an eye opener. I got my lessons right. Three days later I took another girl on a date, I met her around 5:30pm in a coffee shop near my place. At around 7pm, I proposed her to come and cook some food at my home - and it was a walking distance. She came, we cooked, ate, and by 8:30pm she was claiming "You’re amazing!" as I was shagging her. My first first date sex ever - full LR here. And in the following weeks, I discovered that it is, in fact, very easy to do.
Seppuku
