- Joined
- Feb 13, 2013
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- 1,275
NOT. IN. MY. HOUSE.
I got invited to a fish fry at the ski and boat club on the lake last Friday by my friend, Dickshot. I headed up there about 7 PM and walked in and sat down at his table, which included a chick to his left (probably 30-ish, I guessed) and two more somewhat younger girls (both probably mid-20’s or thereabouts, one of them with a boyfriend.
Dickshot tells me to get a beer, but I’d walked straight up and just sat at the table because I forgot they do not have an ATM here. He introduces me to everyone. The 30-ish year old was moderately attractive (thin, dark hair, but looked like she wasn’t even wearing make-up). The one with the boyfriend was a very tall red-head, and finally, the girl sitting across from me.
She was short (probably 5’3” or so), strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and a pretty smile… and that’s about all I could see since she was sitting down. Later I'd see one of the most curvaceous, healthy Midwestern corn-fed bootys I've ever laid eyes on.
StrawberryBlonde and I hit it off quickly. After the introductions and whatnot, she places a $20 bill on the table and tells me to go get a beer. I tell her thank you, and that I’ll hopefully return the favor one day.
**This would have been good because I could have used Chase’s “I owe you/You owe me” technique. But, thankfully, I wouldn't need it for this one. Also, she's auto-investing, which is good**
Anyway, I go get a beer and come back to the table. I tell StrawberryBlonde that she has pretty eyes, and she blushes. I’ll admit it was definitely a generic, weak-ass compliment. But, apparently it was all I could muster at the moment for some reason (and I needed to state or imply interest at that point).
We all shoot the shit for a while, and I dive-deep the boyfriend guy sitting next to me when I’m not talking to StrawberryBlonde. He’s a State Police Officer and he has been dating the redhead for about 2 months, he says. I find out indirectly that the three girls at the table are all best friends.
At some point in the conversation, Dickshot starts showing them a picture of his new boat. He starts talking about my boat, and asks if I have any pictures of it on my phone. I say I do, and he and the other guy want to see them. I purposely don’t show StrawberryBlonde the picture of the boat. Not because I think she’s a potential gold-digger or anything, but I don’t want to appear like I’m explicitly trying to impress her. I only showed the photo of the boat to the 3 persons whom asked to see it. This is not really a big deal either way, but might be worth pointing out, who knows.
After about an hour and a half, the 30-ish year old chick suggests we switch venues. There’s a band playing at a place not far from her home. Everyone thinks it’s a good idea, so we head over there.
I drive by myself, and tell everyone that I have to get gas and find an ATM first so I’ll be a little bit behind. I go and get gas, use the ATM, and grab a bottle of wine (my plan as of right now is to get some kino going and then offer “someplace where it’s not so noisy”, so we can talk with each other).
I head over to the bar.
I go inside and I seriously walk around in the front for like 2 minutes and can’t find them, and eventually I get a text from a # that I’m not familiar with (its not in my contacts). It says “We’re in the back by the pool tables”. Ok, 10-4. I head back there and I ask them all, while smiling, “Ok, which one of you texted me?” and StrawberryBlonde says “I did!”
I give her shit (one of my favorite Van Wilder lines): “Are you going to start stalking me now? Because that would be super.”, and she laughs.
They are playing pool (teams, 2-on-2) and I take over for 30’s girl after a couple games. I’m on StrawberryBlonde’s team. Not going to lie, I’m very good at pool. We kick ass at pool and the band’s playing. We’re having a great time.
I have been putting my arm around StrawberryBlonde, and rubbing her side and stuff like that now and again. After a few games of pool, I go for the pull.
I place a hand on her side above her right hip, and:
We play a couple more games of pool and her and 30’s girl go outside to smoke. I don’t really smoke, unless I’ve drank heavily, but she offers me a cigarette so I take it. We have the cigarette and leave afterward.
I follow her to her friend’s house to drop her off, and have to wait in Taco Bell parking lot first though, while they go through the drive-thru. Her friend, 30’s girl comes up to my passenger window. I roll it down and ask her if StrawberryBlonde is ok to drive. She says yes. I thought she was going to give me some kind of warning about her friend, or something like that, but instead she offers me a taco. No thanks.
We head to my place (which is about a 15 minute drive), and she calls me on the phone while we are driving:
We get to my house and go inside. Remove shoes, and use the restroom.
We sit on the couch, and I turn on the TV and Men in Black is on and it’s that part where the alien takes over that mechanic guy’s body and acts all retarded and shit.
About 5 minutes into it, I grab her face and kiss her. She doesn’t really kiss me back. It’s sort of like the minimal amount of movement you can do with your lips, while it still being a kiss. I pull back, unphased, and continue to watch the movie.
I start rubbing her leg, and put my other arm around her. She is getting text messages from both friends. I tell her to tell them she went home. Surprisingly, she says this is a good idea and actually calls both of them and lies and says she is at home and about to go to sleep.
Then we talk a bit more and at some point she says something like, "You're a filthy bitch, aren't you?" And I can't tell if she's half-serious or fucking with me or what. I say something like (paraphrasing here), "I can be. How'd you know?" with a shit-eating grin. She says "I can tell. You're a dirty son-of-a-bitch. You're too good looking to be single", and I sort of brush off the comment and just laugh and change the subject.
After this, I kiss her again and she actually kisses me back this time. We make out a little, and after a while she says something to the effect of her staying over. Normally I don’t like this, but we’ve both been drinking so what the hell, right?
She asks me if I have a t-shirt she can wear. I say yes, and tell her I will get her a shirt and a pair of athletic shorts, and she replies “Oh, you think I need the shorts, do you?”
I don’t answer her, and just bring her a shirt and shorts. She begins to change in front of me, and I just go to the bathroom and then get in my bed. I yell in and tell her to turn the tv off when she’s done in there.
She does and comes in my room and lays down in the shirt and her underwear, and no bra. She did not put the pants on.
When she gets in the bed, she turns toward me and I begin to escalate. She then takes the shirt off, lays back and I give her oral. After I do this for some time, I get up on my knees and she gives me head. She spits on my dick and rubs her tits all over it. Then, I grab a condom out of my nightstand and we fuck.
After we had sex, she tells me “I wasn’t going to have sex with you, but you just slowly broke me down”... Haha whatever. It was like once she was in the clear from her friends, it was game on and she was doing most of the work from that point.
NJ

I got invited to a fish fry at the ski and boat club on the lake last Friday by my friend, Dickshot. I headed up there about 7 PM and walked in and sat down at his table, which included a chick to his left (probably 30-ish, I guessed) and two more somewhat younger girls (both probably mid-20’s or thereabouts, one of them with a boyfriend.
Dickshot tells me to get a beer, but I’d walked straight up and just sat at the table because I forgot they do not have an ATM here. He introduces me to everyone. The 30-ish year old was moderately attractive (thin, dark hair, but looked like she wasn’t even wearing make-up). The one with the boyfriend was a very tall red-head, and finally, the girl sitting across from me.
She was short (probably 5’3” or so), strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and a pretty smile… and that’s about all I could see since she was sitting down. Later I'd see one of the most curvaceous, healthy Midwestern corn-fed bootys I've ever laid eyes on.
StrawberryBlonde and I hit it off quickly. After the introductions and whatnot, she places a $20 bill on the table and tells me to go get a beer. I tell her thank you, and that I’ll hopefully return the favor one day.
**This would have been good because I could have used Chase’s “I owe you/You owe me” technique. But, thankfully, I wouldn't need it for this one. Also, she's auto-investing, which is good**
Anyway, I go get a beer and come back to the table. I tell StrawberryBlonde that she has pretty eyes, and she blushes. I’ll admit it was definitely a generic, weak-ass compliment. But, apparently it was all I could muster at the moment for some reason (and I needed to state or imply interest at that point).
We all shoot the shit for a while, and I dive-deep the boyfriend guy sitting next to me when I’m not talking to StrawberryBlonde. He’s a State Police Officer and he has been dating the redhead for about 2 months, he says. I find out indirectly that the three girls at the table are all best friends.
At some point in the conversation, Dickshot starts showing them a picture of his new boat. He starts talking about my boat, and asks if I have any pictures of it on my phone. I say I do, and he and the other guy want to see them. I purposely don’t show StrawberryBlonde the picture of the boat. Not because I think she’s a potential gold-digger or anything, but I don’t want to appear like I’m explicitly trying to impress her. I only showed the photo of the boat to the 3 persons whom asked to see it. This is not really a big deal either way, but might be worth pointing out, who knows.
After about an hour and a half, the 30-ish year old chick suggests we switch venues. There’s a band playing at a place not far from her home. Everyone thinks it’s a good idea, so we head over there.
I drive by myself, and tell everyone that I have to get gas and find an ATM first so I’ll be a little bit behind. I go and get gas, use the ATM, and grab a bottle of wine (my plan as of right now is to get some kino going and then offer “someplace where it’s not so noisy”, so we can talk with each other).
I head over to the bar.
I go inside and I seriously walk around in the front for like 2 minutes and can’t find them, and eventually I get a text from a # that I’m not familiar with (its not in my contacts). It says “We’re in the back by the pool tables”. Ok, 10-4. I head back there and I ask them all, while smiling, “Ok, which one of you texted me?” and StrawberryBlonde says “I did!”
I give her shit (one of my favorite Van Wilder lines): “Are you going to start stalking me now? Because that would be super.”, and she laughs.
They are playing pool (teams, 2-on-2) and I take over for 30’s girl after a couple games. I’m on StrawberryBlonde’s team. Not going to lie, I’m very good at pool. We kick ass at pool and the band’s playing. We’re having a great time.
I have been putting my arm around StrawberryBlonde, and rubbing her side and stuff like that now and again. After a few games of pool, I go for the pull.
I place a hand on her side above her right hip, and:
Me: So I grabbed a bottle of wine while I was at the gas station, and I was thinking it would be nice if you and I could share some later. It’s awfully loud in here, and I’m enjoying getting to know you, and my house isn’t far from here.
Her: Okay (without hesitation), 30’s girl is with me so I have to drop her off. Is that ok? Then I can follow you?
Me: Sounds good. I’ll follow you to her house, and then you can follow me to mine.
Her: Okay, because we are probably leaving soon anyway.
We play a couple more games of pool and her and 30’s girl go outside to smoke. I don’t really smoke, unless I’ve drank heavily, but she offers me a cigarette so I take it. We have the cigarette and leave afterward.
I follow her to her friend’s house to drop her off, and have to wait in Taco Bell parking lot first though, while they go through the drive-thru. Her friend, 30’s girl comes up to my passenger window. I roll it down and ask her if StrawberryBlonde is ok to drive. She says yes. I thought she was going to give me some kind of warning about her friend, or something like that, but instead she offers me a taco. No thanks.
We head to my place (which is about a 15 minute drive), and she calls me on the phone while we are driving:
Her: Ok, so my friends are TOTALLY giving me shit.
Me: What do you mean?
Her: You don’t expect us to have sex, right?
Me: If we don’t have sex, or if we do have sex, it’s all good. I just want to get to know you.
Her: Well, they are like majorly giving me shit about it.
Me: Do you think they want to watch?
Her: (laughing) Haha no! But, do you expect us to have sex? Is that what’s going on?
**The following is a line I’ve seen Chase recommend. Can’t remember if it was in an article, or on the boards here
Me: Well hey, listen. You’re the boss. You come over, and we will hang out for a while. You get to leave whenever you want. No pressure.
Her: Well, ok.
**And then she just talks about how she has to pee really bad and complaining that my house is far away (it’s not)
We get to my house and go inside. Remove shoes, and use the restroom.
We sit on the couch, and I turn on the TV and Men in Black is on and it’s that part where the alien takes over that mechanic guy’s body and acts all retarded and shit.
About 5 minutes into it, I grab her face and kiss her. She doesn’t really kiss me back. It’s sort of like the minimal amount of movement you can do with your lips, while it still being a kiss. I pull back, unphased, and continue to watch the movie.
I start rubbing her leg, and put my other arm around her. She is getting text messages from both friends. I tell her to tell them she went home. Surprisingly, she says this is a good idea and actually calls both of them and lies and says she is at home and about to go to sleep.
Then we talk a bit more and at some point she says something like, "You're a filthy bitch, aren't you?" And I can't tell if she's half-serious or fucking with me or what. I say something like (paraphrasing here), "I can be. How'd you know?" with a shit-eating grin. She says "I can tell. You're a dirty son-of-a-bitch. You're too good looking to be single", and I sort of brush off the comment and just laugh and change the subject.
After this, I kiss her again and she actually kisses me back this time. We make out a little, and after a while she says something to the effect of her staying over. Normally I don’t like this, but we’ve both been drinking so what the hell, right?
She asks me if I have a t-shirt she can wear. I say yes, and tell her I will get her a shirt and a pair of athletic shorts, and she replies “Oh, you think I need the shorts, do you?”
I don’t answer her, and just bring her a shirt and shorts. She begins to change in front of me, and I just go to the bathroom and then get in my bed. I yell in and tell her to turn the tv off when she’s done in there.
She does and comes in my room and lays down in the shirt and her underwear, and no bra. She did not put the pants on.
When she gets in the bed, she turns toward me and I begin to escalate. She then takes the shirt off, lays back and I give her oral. After I do this for some time, I get up on my knees and she gives me head. She spits on my dick and rubs her tits all over it. Then, I grab a condom out of my nightstand and we fuck.
After we had sex, she tells me “I wasn’t going to have sex with you, but you just slowly broke me down”... Haha whatever. It was like once she was in the clear from her friends, it was game on and she was doing most of the work from that point.
NJ