- Joined
- Jun 24, 2019
- Messages
- 375
Tinder Lay Report. This is also a great post about patience, persistence, and dealing with LMR. Pics of here are below (names and eyes crossed out for discretion). She was super cute, and for this report I'm going to call her "Oriental" as I later found out she was half chinese which I never would have guessed. Anyway, going to start with the text game, have a good read!
https://imgur.com/a/G5J6Pag
https://imgur.com/a/9KuDALl
https://imgur.com/a/Pl0V9Ap
https://imgur.com/a/a7SfF6k
https://imgur.com/a/qTDX8Im
Tinder, Tuesday Jun 25, 5:20
(So yes, this is how long it took for this to happen)
Me: Well Oriental, I see we both have excellent tastes
Me: Are you north, south, east, or west of [My City]?
(no response, so Friday, June 28th, 4:38 I try again, nothing wrong with persistence, also notice that I just disregard my last message and start fresh. I also go a bit more specific as my opener, looking back on it, wasn't that great)
Me: The long weekend - hope you can escape the business for a while! Getting into any trouble, or just more sunsets with the pup at [Specific Lake]
(I referenced her business in her profile, she also had a picture with her and her dog at a lake I knew, so I referenced that. Much more specific and it show cases that I'm actually interested in her)
Saturday June 29, 12:48 p.m.
Her: I hope so
Her: It says your 300km away !
Her: You're
(I was travelling somewhere at the time. Her response is.....ok, the "" is a decent sign)
Me, 1:56: I'm back Monday, in the [place where I was travelling] right now
Me: Ever been?
Her, 3:16: Nice ! No I have never been but mu girlfriend was just there a week ago
Me - 6:12: Yeah it's beautiful, and relaxing
Me: And what would this friend of yours tell me about you if you weren't around?
(I only kindof like this text, I think I could have worded it differently, but it's also not super fun, probably a mistake)
(no response, so I wait a few days)
Wed Jul 3 - 8:43 pm
Me: Uh oh, radio silence.....trapped in a cleaning nightmare? Abducted by aliens? I can only assume the worst at this point. :S Blink three times if you need help
(I use this or some different variation of this sometimes when I'm probing for a response to a decent question, BUT, this is it, you can't really send another text after this or you look super desperate, and so now I wait)
Saturday Jul 6 (yes, you have to wait this long sometimes)
Her: Blink blink blink
Her: Sorry don't come on the app often
(I don't like this response that much, as she ignores my original question. But it's also a bit playful, so I push forward, but I want to keep the light/fun vibe up. I also wait to message her back the next day)
Sunday 10:40 a.m.
Me: On my way Ma'am. Keep an eye out for a cute butt in red spandex.
Me: No worries. I just want to see a bit more of your personality before meeting.
(I like everything I did her. The first line plays off the rescuing her part, and the second part showcases that I have standards that need to be met or she doesn't get to see me, taking the frame that I am high value)
Her - 2:50: Lol aw
(Damn, this response really sucks, especially since I thought my last lines were good. I almost felt like ending the convo right here, but then thought, I might as well brush this off and push through, what's the worst that could happen)
Me: We can chat now while I'm cooking
Me: I have a few hunches about you already.....but tell me, what's something you really admire about yourself?
Sunday 10:42 p.m.
Her: A few hunches about me eh... XXX-XXX-XXXX I HATE this app lol
Her: It's hard to txt and you can't share photos or call off it
Her: I'm just playing just dance right now lol
(ok, so big turning point here. Big investment, willingly gave her #, so as you can see my persistence payed off, and the "hunches" line seems to have paid off)
Texting - Monday 12:39 P.m. July 8th (so you can see how long it took to get to this point)
Me: Hey Oriental, it's that hunky guy form tinder - JacobPalmer
Me: How'd the Just Dance competition go last night, take home the gold?
2:07
Her: Hey you ! It went great danced the night away how are you? I'm just at work
2:49
Her: Went out to a taco place with my girlfriends
Her: [picture of here and her girlfriends]
(She double texts here, good sign)
Me: You're adorable. I'm good just finished some meetings and consuming too much coffee now.
Me: Which taco place?
Her: Hm I don't actually know what it was called close to gas town
Her: How's your day going so far
(let's face it guys, sometimes girls are boring with their questions, don't sweat it and just proceed as normal, being the interesting/intriguing one)
Me: Hmmm. You may just have to show me sometime. Day is good, doing som running around now, although I could use a cute sidekick.....know anyone?
Her: Hmmmm I might have some prospects ... I know this really cute half Chinese girl I'm at the most wonderful place in the world ... the DMV
Her:Lost my drivers license and then while I was looking for my drivers license I couldn't find my insurance papers lol .... and I also had a speeding ticket a few months ago so they made me pay that [some sad face emoji] my dad's a retired police officer and my moms a justice of the peace in the court.house so when I told them yesterday when we all went out for dinner that I lost my license my.dad.scolded me telling me I will get a big ticket if I don't get it replaced lol
(good response, very flirtatious, also super long. Also, had NO IDEA she was half chinese, never would have guessed)
Me: I actually never would have guessed you were half Chinese! But yeah she does seem cute.
Me: Ahhh, my favorite place in the world.... Oh no, like lost it for a while? Or forever? Or....just can't find it.
Her: Lost it like can't find it
Me: That's a bummer. Hope it turns up so you can make it to our casual, fun, flirtatious date though. Coffee, wine, or cocktails?
(I like how I transitioned here. It's smooth)
Her: Maybe cocktails? I love comedy show idea I love the comedy show and podcasts. I went to Chris delias show twice this year, saw Theo von last month, Kevin hart, Joe Rogan twice, and I would love to see many more !
Her: I love podcasts as I clean all day
Her: I love walking too maybe we go downtown and walk the seawall in the evening
Her: [Her instagram] is my instagram I'm just heading.inside the gym talk soon
(I reference a comedy show in my tinder bio. Damn this was long, and actually TOO much investment, and not a date I'd want to go on for a first date, so I pump the brakes a bit)
Me: Cocktails it is, great choice. What's your schedule like?
Me: Comedy show, vegan dessert, and seaswall walk sound amazing, but let's save that for after we meet and get to know each other in person first. But I absolutely love that idea for a second date
Me: Have an awesome workout!
Me: Also, I don't have instagram [shrug emoji]
Her: Ps my phone grammar is horrible. I do not know where capitals and commas should go, but also...texting in a car in the sun. Lol. I just read my last message and it was bad lol. I almost didn't understand it myself!
Her: What's the first date.?
Me: Haha it's all good, I'm not judgemental like that. First date is going to be you, me, 1-2 ice cocktails, flirtacious banter, learning a bit more about each other, maybe hold hands (but probably start you off with a pinky), and then after all that, if we want to continue our amazing night, we'll go do something spontaneous.
(I love this message. It's fun, playful, challenging with the fact that she's not ready to hold hands with me because that's be too much for her, and mysterious with leaving it open ended at the end)
Her: Sounds perfect. I'm guessing your from [my city]
Her: I'm from [her city]
Me: I sure am Oriental. What are a few days you're free over the next little while?
(oddly enough, things kindof fall apart here, you'll see)
Tuesday 1:19 A.m.
My twin sisters in labour she gun have a baby in the next few hours
Tuesday 6:23 a.m. (I'm waking up for work)
Me: Oh crazy! Boy or girl?
Her - 9:31 a.m.: Girl!
Me: Cute
(I'm being short but sweet here, as she did ignore my request asking for what days she's free, but she's also going through a big family moment)
Her: 6lbs 9oz
Me 9:42: Aww she's just a little nugget [heart emoji]
(I know I need to get this convo back on track, so after thinking I send a double text)
Me 10:39 a.m.: Are you free Saturday?
(notice that is is also the third time I've "asked her out." Persistence persistence persistence)
Her 8:06 p.m.: I thinkkkk so
(so now here I almost fuck up, because I had a different date now I had set up with someone else, because Oriental took so long to respond, so I kindof lie..... I also don't really like her response, which is basically just saying "maybe," so I take the invite away)
Me: Tomorrow instead? Forgot I have a BBQ that night. [Monkey covering eyes emoji] Would love to see you
(so I'm taking away here, but I'm still sweet about it. HOWEVER, the next day my date cancels, fuck, so I kindof scramble to book this date, but I know I need to just push or it won't happen, as it seems she just needs ot be lead more, so I do)
Me: And now this BBQ is cancelled lol. So I'm still good with Saturday. Shall we say S+L [My city] for 5:30?
Her: Just got off work tough day today!
Her: Me come to you?
Her: Okay sure I can drive to [my city]
Me: Tell me about it, my brain is dead
Me: Great, looking forward to it
(I go silent after this and we don't text again until Saturday)
Saturday, July 13 - day of our date
(I send the anti flake text)
Me: Morning cutie, see you later! If you beat me there meet me in the lobby
Her: Sounds good
Her: What time were ya thinking?
(Jesus, I said 5:30 in my earlier text)
Me: 5:30
Her: That's pretty early don't youthink ?
Her: Maybe 7:30 ?
(This is only a half test, and I think some people would throw up a stink here. But the best way to deal with this is to play it cool and go with the flow. It's not a big deal)
Me: 7:30, sure. gives me more time to do my hair anyway. See you then
(Cool, calm, and fun. And you can see it pays off)
Her:
Her: I'm 6'1 that's not a problem right ?
Her: 6'5 with heels [heel emoji]
Her: Lol jk I'm 5'5
(she later told me she originally thought this would be funny, but then panicked thinking maybe I was shorter and didn't want to intimidate me lol)
Me: Cool, I'm 6'7 in heels, not a problem.
Her: perfect match made in heaven !
Me: Definitely
Her: Ona hike right now with the pup
Her: I'll try not to break my ankle [blowing kiss emoji]
Her: [Picture of a trail and a pup]
Me: Good idea..... people might start asking questions if I'm dragging around a cute girl with a limp all night
Her: Hey you I prob won't make it out of my house untill 7:30 can we say 8:00? Sorry I just got home and need to run in the shower but I might be ready for 7:15? Takes about 25 mins for me form [her city]
(again, play it cool, and like it's not a big deal)
Me: Sure no worries, 8 works
Her: Okay awesome just letting the dog out for 5 mins and leaving [her city]
Me: Sounds good!
(I get to the restaurant at 7:50. She texts me at 8:30, she's late)
Her: My here can you come outside lol
Her: I dnt want to meet you inside I want to meet you outside
Me: Afraid I'm gonna catfish?
Me: I'm outside. Where are you?
Her: Lol
Her: Walk towards shoppers
Problem. There isn't a shoppers near this restaurant..... I call her. She went to a completely wrong restaurant. She apologies and admits that she's lost, and she jokes that it's probably because she's Asian and a woman, so the worst combo for driving skills. I laugh and give her directions to the restaurant and chat a bit more on the phone. She tries to ask me more questions on the phone, like "what do you do for work" and I tell her let's save the questions for when you get here. All in a playful fun way of course. We get off the phone, I go back inside and wait. And she arrives a few minutes later. I meet her outside.
She parks, driving her Volkswagen SUV. She steps out of the car, and god damn did she look sexy. Jean jacket with a tight beige dress with brown buttons up the middle where her breasts are. She's not wearing a bra. Honestly part of me thought she was out of my league, but then I'm like, wtf, I'm amazing, I deserve this. We exchange some pleasantries and joke around about her terrible driving and head in. I have us a seat at the bar already with my drink. She orders the same thing as me which is a Pom martini. It comes with an edible orchid and I say it's edible. She doesn't believe me so I tease her saying that she should eat it. "No way" she squeels, "you eat it!" So I do, with a smug ass smile on my face.
Her: how was it? (smiling)
Me, said in a slow sexy voice: honestly not that great haha
So we talk some more and go through quite a bit of banter and normal convo, some physical touching which she's receptive to, and she also touches my hands/chest here and there, all good signs, and we're both having fun. She talks about how her business partner is politically incorrect at times and that she always calls her "Oriental" and not Asian or Chinese, but that she doesn't care. So I call her Ms Oriental some of the night and use clal back humour to this quite a bit throughout the night as well. About 40 minutes pass and we finish our drinks, and somehow the conversation of food comes up. At this point I want to move her, so I suggest we ditch this place and go to this other place which is close, and they're doing free food tonight (which I found out a couple days ago).
Her: Okay! Let's do it
Her: Should we just take 1 car or two and meet there?
(great opportunity for me here based on the whole interaction - see below)
Me: Actually, how about we drop your car off at my place and then head there together. It's on the way, and I don't really trust your driving skills anymore tonight.
She laughs and agrees. I pay the bill, she goes to the washroom, and we head out, walking out with her arm wrapped around my waist and mine wrapped around the small of her back.
I walk her to her car and tell her to punch in my address:
Her:Oh! it's only 10 minutes away!
Me: yup! See you in a bit!
My place, she parks on the street and hops into my car, and we head to the new restaurant, which is about 10 minutes away, talking/flirting along the way. Once we get to this place we talk to the hostess and find out they won't let us in because they are fully booked for the night now (fuck), but I play it off as no big deal and suggest we just walk a block to this other place closeby. We joke and laugh some more along the way.
Once at this new place I say we get a booth, but only if we're sitting side by side. She laughs and says sure sounds good. I slide in next to her and throw my arm up across the neck of the booth, and she rests her head on my arm and kindof snuggles me. super cute.
We order a drink and something small to eat and continue conversing. I'm deep diving and she's asking me lots of questions, which I do give great answers to, but also always try to turn the conversation back on her. We also talk about ice cream and how she loves it (this is important later). Standard stuff and everything goes well. At some point she says she's tired, and I wanted to leave as well, so I tell her, "Let's get out of here. I also pay for our food and drinks here.
The Pull
So once back home I park on the street and begin walking up towards my house and her car. Her car is in between us and my place. Once we just pass it our walk slows, and I know what's happening. I need to lead here. We hug, and we're holding each other in the street.
Me: I had fun tonight
Her: Me too (she says with a smile on her face)
Me: Well.....I do have some vegan ice cream inside. We could have some.
(notice I say this as a statement not a question)
Her: Uhmmm...
Me: Come
I take her hand and begin walking towards my place.
Her: Ok but only 15 minutes
Me: For sure, not long
(I gave her plausible deniability, and a time contraint, and led the way, easy stuff )
We get inside, I go to the washroom and let her sit. When I come out she's turned off my main lights and turned on a lamp, so the mood is set (15 minutes my ass lol). I go to the kitchen and pour us 2 waters, handing one to her. We're talking a bit and she's exploring my books that I have laid out on my table. She's sitting in my computer chair so I go sit on the couch. We talk a bit like this and then I hold out my hand and motion for her to sit beside me on the couch. She does, good compliance.
The Close, and LMR
We talk/flirt for maybe 3 minutes, and then a point comes where there's a bit of silence, and I just go in to kiss her. It's a good kiss, and I pull away first. I pause, but she motions with her head that she wants more. I kiss her again, but again pull away. Rinse and repeat 2 more times, and then we just start making out. I pull her tit's out of dress and play with them as we make out, pulling her nipples and kissing her, also kissing her neck. We do this for about 3 minutes, and then she pulls back and away from me, pulling her dress up.
Her: Woah, I was not expecting that tonight, you probably think I'm a floozy for having my tit's out like that
Me: Haha nah I don't, I like your breasts. And it's cool, we can stop, we're just hanging out anyway
But she looks at me again and we start making out again, tits out again in 1 minute. She just needed to be reassured everything was ok. Good persistence on my part. I'm on top of her now feeling her ass and legs, kissing her neck and she tells me she loves it when I kiss her neck. We continue like this for a few more minutes, until I stand up and hold out my hands.
Me: Come
Her: Where?
Me: We're going to the bedroom
Her: Okay.....but we're not having sex tonight
Me: That's ok by me
(easy test, just rolls off)
In my bedroom I sit on my dresser and we make out standing up. She takes her dress and panties off. I still have my pants on. She won't let me finger her though. So I stand up and take off my pants, which she likes as she starts grabbing and jerking my cock. She then pulls back and says:
Her: Fuck, I've never been this wet before. It's dripping down my legs.
I can tell she's actually embarrassed by this, so I tell her that I think it's sexy, and I like that she's so turned on by me right now. This seems to help, so I sit on the dresser, and she sits on the bed.
Her: We're not having sex. Only some light play and cuddling, that's it.
Me: That's fine my be Oriental, we're just having fun.
This seems to calm her a bit more again so she sits on the bed and starts blowing me. It's fucking amazing. After a few minutes of this I push her back on the bed, she's a bit uneasy and keeps her legs closed though. I lay beside her to make out some more, play with her tits, grab her ass, and continually move back and forth with my hand trying to get into her pussy. I most have gone through this motion about 5 times, until finally she relents and I get a finger in. And holy fuck she is wet, it's like Niagra falls, and she was right, it was all over her legs. She moans in delight. She then takes my hand away again and starts sucking by dick while I'm laying down. I reach behind her and squeeze her ass and run my hand over her back and stomach. ALSO, forgot to mention, I'm dirty talking at this point saying things like "good girl," "you have such a good little mouth you know that," you're so sexy baby," etc. Then she pops up and says:
Her: Hypothetically, if we were to have sex, would you hypothetically have a condom?
(I love women, they're so cute sometimes.)
Me:, Hypothetically, yes (I say with a subtle smile)
She goes back to sucking my dick, until I pull her up and start making out with her while I'm on top. I run my hands over her and I'm kindof thrusting with my cock but I'm not inside her. I continue this until I "accidentally" slip in, and holy fuck that pussy was wet. It felt amazing, good god. So now we fuck, missionary style, she's moaning and I'm groaning. I continue thrusting and talking dirty, and at some point she tells me she's going to cum. Her body convulses and she comes. Beautiful, I love it.
But then she stops and says she needs water. I could use a break too, so I get us some water. We drink and talk a bit and she compliments me on lasting this long.
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Well most guys don't last this long, it's impressive
Me: Well, you should know by now that I'm not like most guys.
I'm standing again and she is sucking my cock some more. I grab a condom and she says she's glad I'm at least somewhat responsible haha. We fuck some more, she cums again, but I still haven't cum. She says she needs another break because her pussy can't take more right now lol.
So we stop and just hang out for a bit, cuddling, having pillow talk, and some more deep diving, talking about her past relationships, men and women and the roles we play, how men should be the leaders, sex, and lots of other things. I came across as very understanding, non-judgemental, fun, and kind, and sexy. One thing she tells me is that she's extremely surprised by how wet she got, as sometimes when she masturbates she needs lube. That's such a nice compliment from her. She says she feels a bit guilty about having sex with me though, so I do some MAJOR assurance here, telling her I'm glad she did because we have a great connection, and I don't believe in the whole 3 dates to sex sort of thing, and that I find her really sexy and that she's a lot of fun to be around. I had to do this a couple times afterwards actually until she was feeling a bit better. So we talk a bit more but it's getting late and she says she should go. I tell her she can stay here, but she declines. She she starts putting her dress on as she's kneeling beside my bed, so I sit on my bed in front of her and we kiss. And it starts getting hot again. It's passionate and she grabs my dick, saying she wants to get me off. So now she's blowing me, in her dress, with her tits out. And god damn it probably took me 20 minutes to cum. So I'm talking dirty to her and she's working hard for it, and eventually I cum, and holy fuck it might have been the best O I've ever had. I was convulsing and shaking and just exploding, and the best part was that she just took it, and swallowed every last drop.
Me: Mmmmm that was incredible baby, thank you
Her: Yeah that was really hot, I'm gushing right now
I try to feel bu tshe doesn't let me. No big deal, we both came and we're both exhausted at this point. I throw some clothes on and walk her out to her car. We kiss and say goodbye.
The next day I send the post-sex text:
Me: Hope you had an awesome sleep Oriental (and that you're not toooooo tired today )
Her: Hey you I hope you had a good sleep too I on and off sleep all day but I'm now walking the pup
Me: Sounds like an awesome Sunday so far. I can only think of a few things that would make it better (one being some vegan ice cream)
Her: Hahaha !! ... I never got that vegan ice cream did I ... [thinking face emoji]
Me: Well.....I mean you kindof did at the end..... [thinking emoji][wink emoji][devil emoji][angel emoji]
(for those of you who aren't following along the vegan ice cream is my cum, because I'm also mostly vegan )
Her: Lol
Her: Is that vegan ice cream lol or did you actually have it
Me: Haha I actually have it, two kinds actually. That wasn't just some trick. Promise.
Now I'll text a few days from now to hang out again. Hope you all enjoyed the read.
End
https://imgur.com/a/G5J6Pag
https://imgur.com/a/9KuDALl
https://imgur.com/a/Pl0V9Ap
https://imgur.com/a/a7SfF6k
https://imgur.com/a/qTDX8Im
Tinder, Tuesday Jun 25, 5:20
(So yes, this is how long it took for this to happen)
Me: Well Oriental, I see we both have excellent tastes
Me: Are you north, south, east, or west of [My City]?
(no response, so Friday, June 28th, 4:38 I try again, nothing wrong with persistence, also notice that I just disregard my last message and start fresh. I also go a bit more specific as my opener, looking back on it, wasn't that great)
Me: The long weekend - hope you can escape the business for a while! Getting into any trouble, or just more sunsets with the pup at [Specific Lake]
(I referenced her business in her profile, she also had a picture with her and her dog at a lake I knew, so I referenced that. Much more specific and it show cases that I'm actually interested in her)
Saturday June 29, 12:48 p.m.
Her: I hope so
Her: It says your 300km away !
Her: You're
(I was travelling somewhere at the time. Her response is.....ok, the "
" is a decent sign)Me, 1:56: I'm back Monday, in the [place where I was travelling] right now
Me: Ever been?
Her, 3:16: Nice ! No I have never been but mu girlfriend was just there a week ago
Me - 6:12: Yeah it's beautiful, and relaxing
Me: And what would this friend of yours tell me about you if you weren't around?
(I only kindof like this text, I think I could have worded it differently, but it's also not super fun, probably a mistake)
(no response, so I wait a few days)
Wed Jul 3 - 8:43 pm
Me: Uh oh, radio silence.....trapped in a cleaning nightmare? Abducted by aliens? I can only assume the worst at this point. :S Blink three times if you need help
(I use this or some different variation of this sometimes when I'm probing for a response to a decent question, BUT, this is it, you can't really send another text after this or you look super desperate, and so now I wait)
Saturday Jul 6 (yes, you have to wait this long sometimes)
Her: Blink blink blink
Her: Sorry don't come on the app often
(I don't like this response that much, as she ignores my original question. But it's also a bit playful, so I push forward, but I want to keep the light/fun vibe up. I also wait to message her back the next day)
Sunday 10:40 a.m.
Me: On my way Ma'am. Keep an eye out for a cute butt in red spandex.
Me: No worries.
I just want to see a bit more of your personality before meeting.(I like everything I did her. The first line plays off the rescuing her part, and the second part showcases that I have standards that need to be met or she doesn't get to see me, taking the frame that I am high value)
Her - 2:50: Lol aw
(Damn, this response really sucks, especially since I thought my last lines were good. I almost felt like ending the convo right here, but then thought, I might as well brush this off and push through, what's the worst that could happen)
Me: We can chat now while I'm cooking
Me: I have a few hunches about you already.....but tell me, what's something you really admire about yourself?
Sunday 10:42 p.m.
Her: A few hunches about me eh... XXX-XXX-XXXX I HATE this app lol
Her: It's hard to txt and you can't share photos or call off it
Her: I'm just playing just dance right now lol
(ok, so big turning point here. Big investment, willingly gave her #, so as you can see my persistence payed off, and the "hunches" line seems to have paid off)
Texting - Monday 12:39 P.m. July 8th (so you can see how long it took to get to this point)
Me: Hey Oriental, it's that hunky guy form tinder - JacobPalmer
Me: How'd the Just Dance competition go last night, take home the gold?
2:07
Her: Hey you ! It went great danced the night away
how are you? I'm just at work2:49
Her: Went out to a taco place with my girlfriends
Her: [picture of here and her girlfriends]
(She double texts here, good sign)
Me: You're adorable.
I'm good just finished some meetings and consuming too much coffee now.Me: Which taco place?
Her: Hm I don't actually know what it was called close to gas town
Her: How's your day going so far
(let's face it guys, sometimes girls are boring with their questions, don't sweat it and just proceed as normal, being the interesting/intriguing one)
Me: Hmmm. You may just have to show me sometime. Day is good, doing som running around now, although I could use a cute sidekick.....know anyone?
Her: Hmmmm I might have some prospects ... I know this really cute half Chinese girl
I'm at the most wonderful place in the world ... the DMV Her:Lost my drivers license
and then while I was looking for my drivers license I couldn't find my insurance papers lol .... and I also had a speeding ticket a few months ago so they made me pay that [some sad face emoji] my dad's a retired police officer and my moms a justice of the peace in the court.house so when I told them yesterday when we all went out for dinner that I lost my license my.dad.scolded me telling me I will get a big ticket if I don't get it replaced lol(good response, very flirtatious, also super long. Also, had NO IDEA she was half chinese, never would have guessed)
Me: I actually never would have guessed you were half Chinese! But yeah she does seem cute.
Me: Ahhh, my favorite place in the world.... Oh no, like lost it for a while? Or forever? Or....just can't find it.
Her: Lost it like can't find it
Me: That's a bummer. Hope it turns up so you can make it to our casual, fun, flirtatious date though. Coffee, wine, or cocktails?
(I like how I transitioned here. It's smooth)
Her: Maybe cocktails? I love comedy show idea I love the comedy show and podcasts. I went to Chris delias show twice this year, saw Theo von last month, Kevin hart, Joe Rogan twice, and I would love to see many more !
Her: I love podcasts as I clean all day
Her: I love walking too maybe we go downtown and walk the seawall in the evening
Her: [Her instagram] is my instagram I'm just heading.inside the gym talk soon
(I reference a comedy show in my tinder bio. Damn this was long, and actually TOO much investment, and not a date I'd want to go on for a first date, so I pump the brakes a bit)
Me: Cocktails it is, great choice. What's your schedule like?
Me: Comedy show, vegan dessert, and seaswall walk sound amazing, but let's save that for after we meet and get to know each other in person first.
But I absolutely love that idea for a second dateMe: Have an awesome workout!
Me: Also, I don't have instagram [shrug emoji]
Her: Ps my phone grammar is horrible. I do not know where capitals and commas should go, but also...texting in a car in the sun. Lol. I just read my last message and it was bad lol. I almost didn't understand it myself!
Her: What's the first date.?
Me: Haha it's all good, I'm not judgemental like that.
First date is going to be you, me, 1-2 ice cocktails, flirtacious banter, learning a bit more about each other, maybe hold hands (but probably start you off with a pinky), and then after all that, if we want to continue our amazing night, we'll go do something spontaneous. (I love this message. It's fun, playful, challenging with the fact that she's not ready to hold hands with me because that's be too much for her, and mysterious with leaving it open ended at the end)
Her: Sounds perfect.
I'm guessing your from [my city]Her: I'm from [her city]
Me: I sure am Oriental.
What are a few days you're free over the next little while?(oddly enough, things kindof fall apart here, you'll see)
Tuesday 1:19 A.m.
My twin sisters in labour she gun have a baby in the next few hours
Tuesday 6:23 a.m. (I'm waking up for work)
Me: Oh crazy! Boy or girl?
Her - 9:31 a.m.: Girl!
Me: Cute
(I'm being short but sweet here, as she did ignore my request asking for what days she's free, but she's also going through a big family moment)
Her: 6lbs 9oz
Me 9:42: Aww she's just a little nugget [heart emoji]
(I know I need to get this convo back on track, so after thinking I send a double text)
Me 10:39 a.m.: Are you free Saturday?
(notice that is is also the third time I've "asked her out." Persistence persistence persistence)
Her 8:06 p.m.: I thinkkkk so
(so now here I almost fuck up, because I had a different date now I had set up with someone else, because Oriental took so long to respond, so I kindof lie..... I also don't really like her response, which is basically just saying "maybe," so I take the invite away)
Me: Tomorrow instead? Forgot I have a BBQ that night. [Monkey covering eyes emoji] Would love to see you
(so I'm taking away here, but I'm still sweet about it. HOWEVER, the next day my date cancels, fuck, so I kindof scramble to book this date, but I know I need to just push or it won't happen, as it seems she just needs ot be lead more, so I do)
Me: And now this BBQ is cancelled lol. So I'm still good with Saturday. Shall we say S+L [My city] for 5:30?
Her: Just got off work tough day today!
Her: Me come to you?
Her: Okay sure I can drive to [my city]
Me: Tell me about it, my brain is dead
Me: Great, looking forward to it
(I go silent after this and we don't text again until Saturday)
Saturday, July 13 - day of our date
(I send the anti flake text)
Me: Morning cutie, see you later! If you beat me there meet me in the lobby
Her: Sounds good
Her: What time were ya thinking?
(Jesus, I said 5:30 in my earlier text)
Me: 5:30
Her: That's pretty early don't youthink ?
Her: Maybe 7:30 ?
(This is only a half test, and I think some people would throw up a stink here. But the best way to deal with this is to play it cool and go with the flow. It's not a big deal)
Me: 7:30, sure. gives me more time to do my hair anyway.
See you then(Cool, calm, and fun. And you can see it pays off)
Her:
Her: I'm 6'1 that's not a problem right ?
Her: 6'5 with heels [heel emoji]
Her: Lol jk I'm 5'5
(she later told me she originally thought this would be funny, but then panicked thinking maybe I was shorter and didn't want to intimidate me lol)
Me: Cool, I'm 6'7 in heels, not a problem.
Her:
perfect match made in heaven !Me: Definitely
Her: Ona hike right now with the pup
Her: I'll try not to break my ankle [blowing kiss emoji]
Her: [Picture of a trail and a pup]
Me: Good idea..... people might start asking questions if I'm dragging around a cute girl with a limp all night
Her: Hey you I prob won't make it out of my house untill 7:30 can we say 8:00? Sorry I just got home and need to run in the shower but I might be ready for 7:15? Takes about 25 mins for me form [her city]
(again, play it cool, and like it's not a big deal)
Me: Sure no worries, 8 works
Her: Okay awesome just letting the dog out for 5 mins and leaving [her city]
Me: Sounds good!
(I get to the restaurant at 7:50. She texts me at 8:30, she's late)
Her: My here can you come outside lol
Her: I dnt want to meet you inside I want to meet you outside
Me: Afraid I'm gonna catfish?
Me: I'm outside. Where are you?
Her: Lol
Her: Walk towards shoppers
Problem. There isn't a shoppers near this restaurant..... I call her. She went to a completely wrong restaurant. She apologies and admits that she's lost, and she jokes that it's probably because she's Asian and a woman, so the worst combo for driving skills. I laugh and give her directions to the restaurant and chat a bit more on the phone. She tries to ask me more questions on the phone, like "what do you do for work" and I tell her let's save the questions for when you get here. All in a playful fun way of course. We get off the phone, I go back inside and wait. And she arrives a few minutes later. I meet her outside.
She parks, driving her Volkswagen SUV. She steps out of the car, and god damn did she look sexy. Jean jacket with a tight beige dress with brown buttons up the middle where her breasts are. She's not wearing a bra. Honestly part of me thought she was out of my league, but then I'm like, wtf, I'm amazing, I deserve this. We exchange some pleasantries and joke around about her terrible driving and head in. I have us a seat at the bar already with my drink. She orders the same thing as me which is a Pom martini. It comes with an edible orchid and I say it's edible. She doesn't believe me so I tease her saying that she should eat it. "No way" she squeels, "you eat it!" So I do, with a smug ass smile on my face.
Her: how was it? (smiling)
Me, said in a slow sexy voice: honestly not that great haha
So we talk some more and go through quite a bit of banter and normal convo, some physical touching which she's receptive to, and she also touches my hands/chest here and there, all good signs, and we're both having fun. She talks about how her business partner is politically incorrect at times and that she always calls her "Oriental" and not Asian or Chinese, but that she doesn't care. So I call her Ms Oriental some of the night and use clal back humour to this quite a bit throughout the night as well. About 40 minutes pass and we finish our drinks, and somehow the conversation of food comes up. At this point I want to move her, so I suggest we ditch this place and go to this other place which is close, and they're doing free food tonight (which I found out a couple days ago).
Her: Okay! Let's do it
Her: Should we just take 1 car or two and meet there?
(great opportunity for me here based on the whole interaction - see below)
Me: Actually, how about we drop your car off at my place and then head there together. It's on the way, and I don't really trust your driving skills anymore tonight.
She laughs and agrees. I pay the bill, she goes to the washroom, and we head out, walking out with her arm wrapped around my waist and mine wrapped around the small of her back.
I walk her to her car and tell her to punch in my address:
Her:Oh! it's only 10 minutes away!
Me: yup! See you in a bit!
My place, she parks on the street and hops into my car, and we head to the new restaurant, which is about 10 minutes away, talking/flirting along the way. Once we get to this place we talk to the hostess and find out they won't let us in because they are fully booked for the night now (fuck), but I play it off as no big deal and suggest we just walk a block to this other place closeby. We joke and laugh some more along the way.
Once at this new place I say we get a booth, but only if we're sitting side by side. She laughs and says sure sounds good. I slide in next to her and throw my arm up across the neck of the booth, and she rests her head on my arm and kindof snuggles me. super cute.
We order a drink and something small to eat and continue conversing. I'm deep diving and she's asking me lots of questions, which I do give great answers to, but also always try to turn the conversation back on her. We also talk about ice cream and how she loves it (this is important later). Standard stuff and everything goes well. At some point she says she's tired, and I wanted to leave as well, so I tell her, "Let's get out of here. I also pay for our food and drinks here.
The Pull
So once back home I park on the street and begin walking up towards my house and her car. Her car is in between us and my place. Once we just pass it our walk slows, and I know what's happening. I need to lead here. We hug, and we're holding each other in the street.
Me: I had fun tonight
Her: Me too (she says with a smile on her face)
Me: Well.....I do have some vegan ice cream inside. We could have some.
(notice I say this as a statement not a question)
Her: Uhmmm...
Me: Come
I take her hand and begin walking towards my place.
Her: Ok but only 15 minutes
Me: For sure, not long
(I gave her plausible deniability, and a time contraint, and led the way, easy stuff
)We get inside, I go to the washroom and let her sit. When I come out she's turned off my main lights and turned on a lamp, so the mood is set (15 minutes my ass lol). I go to the kitchen and pour us 2 waters, handing one to her. We're talking a bit and she's exploring my books that I have laid out on my table. She's sitting in my computer chair so I go sit on the couch. We talk a bit like this and then I hold out my hand and motion for her to sit beside me on the couch. She does, good compliance.
The Close, and LMR
We talk/flirt for maybe 3 minutes, and then a point comes where there's a bit of silence, and I just go in to kiss her. It's a good kiss, and I pull away first. I pause, but she motions with her head that she wants more. I kiss her again, but again pull away. Rinse and repeat 2 more times, and then we just start making out. I pull her tit's out of dress and play with them as we make out, pulling her nipples and kissing her, also kissing her neck. We do this for about 3 minutes, and then she pulls back and away from me, pulling her dress up.
Her: Woah, I was not expecting that tonight, you probably think I'm a floozy for having my tit's out like that
Me: Haha nah I don't, I like your breasts. And it's cool, we can stop, we're just hanging out anyway
But she looks at me again and we start making out again, tits out again in 1 minute. She just needed to be reassured everything was ok. Good persistence on my part. I'm on top of her now feeling her ass and legs, kissing her neck and she tells me she loves it when I kiss her neck. We continue like this for a few more minutes, until I stand up and hold out my hands.
Me: Come
Her: Where?
Me: We're going to the bedroom
Her: Okay.....but we're not having sex tonight
Me: That's ok by me
(easy test, just rolls off)
In my bedroom I sit on my dresser and we make out standing up. She takes her dress and panties off. I still have my pants on. She won't let me finger her though. So I stand up and take off my pants, which she likes as she starts grabbing and jerking my cock. She then pulls back and says:
Her: Fuck, I've never been this wet before. It's dripping down my legs.
I can tell she's actually embarrassed by this, so I tell her that I think it's sexy, and I like that she's so turned on by me right now. This seems to help, so I sit on the dresser, and she sits on the bed.
Her: We're not having sex. Only some light play and cuddling, that's it.
Me: That's fine my be Oriental, we're just having fun.
This seems to calm her a bit more again so she sits on the bed and starts blowing me. It's fucking amazing. After a few minutes of this I push her back on the bed, she's a bit uneasy and keeps her legs closed though. I lay beside her to make out some more, play with her tits, grab her ass, and continually move back and forth with my hand trying to get into her pussy. I most have gone through this motion about 5 times, until finally she relents and I get a finger in. And holy fuck she is wet, it's like Niagra falls, and she was right, it was all over her legs. She moans in delight. She then takes my hand away again and starts sucking by dick while I'm laying down. I reach behind her and squeeze her ass and run my hand over her back and stomach. ALSO, forgot to mention, I'm dirty talking at this point saying things like "good girl," "you have such a good little mouth you know that," you're so sexy baby," etc. Then she pops up and says:
Her: Hypothetically, if we were to have sex, would you hypothetically have a condom?
(I love women, they're so cute sometimes.
)Me:, Hypothetically, yes (I say with a subtle smile)
She goes back to sucking my dick, until I pull her up and start making out with her while I'm on top. I run my hands over her and I'm kindof thrusting with my cock but I'm not inside her. I continue this until I "accidentally" slip in, and holy fuck that pussy was wet. It felt amazing, good god. So now we fuck, missionary style, she's moaning and I'm groaning. I continue thrusting and talking dirty, and at some point she tells me she's going to cum. Her body convulses and she comes. Beautiful, I love it.
But then she stops and says she needs water. I could use a break too, so I get us some water. We drink and talk a bit and she compliments me on lasting this long.
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Well most guys don't last this long, it's impressive
Me: Well, you should know by now that I'm not like most guys.
I'm standing again and she is sucking my cock some more. I grab a condom and she says she's glad I'm at least somewhat responsible haha. We fuck some more, she cums again, but I still haven't cum. She says she needs another break because her pussy can't take more right now lol.
So we stop and just hang out for a bit, cuddling, having pillow talk, and some more deep diving, talking about her past relationships, men and women and the roles we play, how men should be the leaders, sex, and lots of other things. I came across as very understanding, non-judgemental, fun, and kind, and sexy. One thing she tells me is that she's extremely surprised by how wet she got, as sometimes when she masturbates she needs lube. That's such a nice compliment from her.
She says she feels a bit guilty about having sex with me though, so I do some MAJOR assurance here, telling her I'm glad she did because we have a great connection, and I don't believe in the whole 3 dates to sex sort of thing, and that I find her really sexy and that she's a lot of fun to be around. I had to do this a couple times afterwards actually until she was feeling a bit better. So we talk a bit more but it's getting late and she says she should go. I tell her she can stay here, but she declines. She she starts putting her dress on as she's kneeling beside my bed, so I sit on my bed in front of her and we kiss. And it starts getting hot again. It's passionate and she grabs my dick, saying she wants to get me off. So now she's blowing me, in her dress, with her tits out. And god damn it probably took me 20 minutes to cum. So I'm talking dirty to her and she's working hard for it, and eventually I cum, and holy fuck it might have been the best O I've ever had. I was convulsing and shaking and just exploding, and the best part was that she just took it, and swallowed every last drop. Me: Mmmmm that was incredible baby, thank you
Her: Yeah that was really hot, I'm gushing right now
I try to feel bu tshe doesn't let me. No big deal, we both came and we're both exhausted at this point. I throw some clothes on and walk her out to her car. We kiss and say goodbye.
The next day I send the post-sex text:
Me: Hope you had an awesome sleep Oriental (and that you're not toooooo tired today
)Her: Hey you I hope you had a good sleep too
I on and off sleep all day but I'm now walking the pup Me: Sounds like an awesome Sunday so far.
I can only think of a few things that would make it better (one being some vegan ice cream)Her: Hahaha !! ... I never got that vegan ice cream did I ... [thinking face emoji]
Me: Well.....I mean you kindof did at the end..... [thinking emoji][wink emoji][devil emoji][angel emoji]
(for those of you who aren't following along the vegan ice cream is my cum, because I'm also mostly vegan
)Her: Lol
Her: Is that vegan ice cream lol or did you actually have it
Me: Haha I actually have it, two kinds actually. That wasn't just some trick. Promise.
Now I'll text a few days from now to hang out again. Hope you all enjoyed the read.
End