FR break down Rita

FR break down Rita

Postby fearlessuk » Wed Jun 12, 2019 11:08 am

Somewhere in Central London I opened a girl. The impression I got was, she was not interested. I still wanted to instant date her to a coffee anyway, for practice and more FRs. I feel, I still have some confidence issue and the only way round it, is to chat to more girls until I build more reference experience.

This girl is very standoffish, I could tell she wasn't interested in talking to strangers. It's just my gut feeling

F: you look like your from China
HB: yeah
F: your from Shanghi?
HB: yeah

NOTE: tonality is going up because of her one worded answers and I was feeling nervous. I felt she wan't interested and that kind of effected my state. I tried the eye contact with her but she still had some cold energy about her.

F: my name is F by the way, whats your name
HB: Rita
F: Rita isn't a Chinese name, it sounds very English
HB: yeah but my English name is hard to spell.

F: oh, all right, so was it given to you by your mum or did you choose it yourself.
HB: no by my parents

F: sure sure sure I like you ice cream, it looks nice. Just kidding

NOTE good observation. Her ice cream was melting. Also let her finish her sentences before you start chatting again.

F: so what are you up to today, just shopping or are you?

No answer

F: you look like a student, are you a student or something?

HB: yeah

F: you look like you study fashion or something, I have no idea

NOTE: hoping something would hook. Was kind of ready to give up

HB: no

F; what do you study?

HB: linguistics

F: whats that?

HB: Kind of like language.

NOTE: I have no idea what it was lol but now I do. She want's to teach language.

HB: I teach foreigners Chinese

F: oh really

F: can you teach me Chinese

HB: ummm

F: how to say, pretty girl

HB teaches me

F: Rita, shi pearl len lui hi

HB: yeah yeah

F: I like the way you agreed

HB: you already learnt some Chinese

F: yes actually, I use to work in a restaurant, so I started practising Chinese with the workers and eventually learnt a little bit, but not much

F: I also have a friend in China as well, he lives in Shanghi, I went there and I ordered food, try to fit in basically.

F: why Uk, why you decide to study language in UK

HB: its for my masters degree

F: so whats it you want to do

HB: an English teacher, in an international school in Shanghi

NOTE: I think I was in a very nervous state because I felt I wasn't doing well. I was also in my head. Listening to my recording, I felt like I did ok. Not the best but okay. Not worst than I thought it was. because of my state, it took a few minutes for her to explain to me what she was doing.

After she explained it all

F: why are you so pretty :)

hb :)

F: haha are you the only one in the family?

HB: yeah

F: so your the lucky one, you mum gives you everything, whatever you want

NOTE: your so lucky, your parents spoil you and give you whatever they want. I'm so jealous

HB: how about you, any siblings

F: I have an older sister and 2 older brothers, so I'm the youngest one.

HB: you have a lot of family members

F: you more lucky, you don't have to fight over the toys and able to do whatever you like

NOTE: sounds bitter and not helping you move the interaction forward. "Yes, i'm the youngest so I get spoilt the most.

HB: yeah but my mum will feel lonely when I'm gone for a long time.

minutes 4.15

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Re: FR break down Rita

Postby fearlessuk » Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:22 pm

F: so do you miss you mum, sounds like you miss you mum a bit
hb; yes
F; do you miss it in the UK

HB: I like it but I will be leaving soon

NOTE: I wasn't sure if she is brushing me off. Like if she wasn't interested. I continue to qualify.

F: when are you leaving then?

HB: these 2 or 3 months

NOTE: I personally don't like short relationships. I want to move to more health or wealth related stuff. I'm looking for at least a year, until next summer. Summer is always good time to talk to girls. I don't like talking to girls in the winter or Autumn time. I'm also looking for Taiwanese girls more than girls from China. This is the issue regarding the visa problems, it's just so short. I hope UK can fix this as girls from China are also awesome.

F: how long have you been in Uk for then?

F: I like your English, it's very American, Chinese kind of

HB: giggles I didn't know that

F: it's funny because when i hear my voice over the phone, the first time I hear a recording, I think I sound different to how I think I sound.

F: so maybe it's like that

NOTE: I noticed I'm sharing my stories with the girls more. I'm sharing personal things and sharing my vulnerabilities. This is good because its coming form a position of strength. They open themselves up to me more.

HB: where are you from?

F: where do you think I'm from..............India or Africa?

HB: emm haha

HB : it doesn't seem you are from these 2 places.

hb: like you are asian?

F; Asian yes. Basically my parents are from HK but I was born here.

F: lay sick em sick gone gong dong wah?

HB: I understand a little bit

F: speak canton

HB: I don't understand

F: I teach her some Cantonese

NOTE: good you are offering her some value. Teaching girls new stuff creates good feelings. Everyone loves to learn something new

F: I say why are you so pretty in Cantonese

HB laughs

F: this one you know, haha

F: how come you know this one then, is it because someone taught you?

HB: I learnt it form TV

HB: spills melted ice cream on her hands

F: I got a tissue by the way

HB: oh really

give tissue

NOTE: good, shows you care

F: its very handy when you out and about

HB: so what are you doing here?

F: basically I'm working, I'm working in property management

F: do you know Foxtons?

HB: Uni?

F: Foxtons is an estate agency, I help people manage properties

HB: your studying while working?

+language barrier.

F: have you travelled to Europe yet? Italy , Spain or

HB: I been to Italy

F: Italy, how was it?

F: which part of Italy?

HB: like Rome, Florence.

F: I also went to Spain, I went to Madrid. Its very good

HB: I'm going to Spain in a few days

F: Really wow, that's going to be good

F; when are you going then, which part?

HB: I havn't decided yet, maybe a week

F: alright is it for one week

HB: yeah

F: you going to have the time of your life

F: do you know what, I like to have a cup of coffee with you, right now, and I want you to join me for 5 minutes

NOTE: something was very wrong when I tried to go for an instant date. I didn't feel she would agree and it came across in my voice. I wasn't confident. Also it was too mechanical. It was like I was splitting out a line. Next time free associate it like its spontaneous. It should be slightly different every time.

NOTE: you know what. I like to have a cup of coffee right now.........and.........I want you to join me............come

HB: just for 5 minutes

mins 8.12

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Re: FR break down Rita

Postby fearlessuk » Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:13 pm

F: I mean we can go for coffee, there's a coffee shop. I think its down there

HB: err

HB: ok, just 5 minutes

F: yeah, no problem we go down here

+ I did feel, she was reluctant to go coffee with me. I'm glad it worked. If you do this enough, you will get lucky and will get instant dates and reference experiences.

F: do you have any friends studying here, when you're in UK?

+ I felt a bit nervous and surprised she went to have coffee with me. I didn't feel like she would. I was stuttering a bit lol. I was also talking much faster than normal

HB: yeah

F: are they, did you meet them here. Did you come because of you friends?

HB: no, I do have class mates

F; class mates

HB: we where class mates in China

F: yeah because most people, when they study some where, they know someone or somebody and then they go and study there. I'm think maybe its the same with you.

HB: yeah

NOTE: I also felt maybe she hasn't done this before and that's kind of whats stopping her.

F; shall we turn left

F: have you been to the whole of UK yet?

F: which parts of Uk have you been to?

HB: I been to peak district, I don't know if you know

F: peak district?

HB: some mountains

F: some mountains

NOTE: I did a quick youtube search on Peak District and now know what its like. It's near Sheffield. Mountains with no people and lot's of Green scenery. I do like walking a lot but do not like being in the middle of no where.

F: did you see King kong or Godzilla near the mountains? I heard skull island is near that place?

NOTE: Okay this didn't hit, just cut threat and talk about something else. Pretend it never happened. I think I said it from a position of pleasing her, when I should have been self amusing myself. Push your own buttons instead. Make yourself feel good :) It will be more authentic and she can easily make a decision whether she sleep with you or not. This way at least she knows what your about.

+ she takes an other 2 minutes to explain Peak district.

F: so you like nature

HB: yeah

F: so what you doing in the city then, you should move to Manchester or something

F; that's where the nature is. Birmingham or Brighton

F; why you don't study up there instead, London is more expensive right?

+ I feel like I'm talking to much about a certain point. It's like I'm not worthy.

HB: the courses are better in London area

F: oh ok, so the best courses are in London

F; what kind of hobbies do you have? You look like you like skydiving or something?

HB: huh

F: what kind of hobbies do you like? you like playing tennis or?

HB: I'm not good at playing tennis

F: really, I love tennis ah nooo

F: how about badminton then?

HB: badminton is so so

F: do you like sports, or you don't like sports

NOTE: I don't know when I decided but I decided to make this a friendly conversation. I don't feel she is interested in taking things further. My plan at that time is get her a coffee or she might buy one herself. Also I like to spend as much time with her as I can.

HB: I also love sports

F: oh really, what kind of sports you do then?

+in coffee shop

F: what would you like, a latte or?

F; oh green tea? ok thats good :)

+ I get her green tea

F: that's yours

HB: thank you

F: do you want to eat your icecream first, I just realised haha

F: shall we go downstairs

NOTE: I should make more statements than ask question. Lets go down stairs would be better. I should be leading all the way.

F; so does you mum call you everyday because you the only daughter. The only one in her life

HB: not everyday.

F: not everyday, oh ok

F: is that because you don't allow her to interfere of something haha

F: where do you like to sit, you choose

F: ok sounds good, cool cool cool

minutes 14.21

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Re: FR break down Rita

Postby fearlessuk » Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:40 pm

We sit

F: so yeah, what kind of hobbies do you have?

F: what do you like doing, do you like movies or


HB: yeah but I haven't seen many movies here because there is no subtitles on the screen

F: that's why you have netflix right?

F: do you have nextflix

HB: yeah

F: I feel most foreigners like netflix because they have subtitles and it's easier to understand English

HB: most time we look at Chinese subtitles

F: ok haha, so how long you been in UK then?

HB: this time, I been here for 8 months

F: its a shame Uk don't offer you a longer visa, they only offer short ones

HB: i also don't have a plan to stay in UK

F: yeah, its just to learn your stuff

F: how do you feel you English, in terms of you improvement

HB: blah blah blah

F: that's good, say you see an English man and he is your student and you want to teach him Chinese, you have to teach him theory right? or you don't, i don't know

minutes 17.30

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Re: FR break down Rita

Postby fearlessuk » Wed Jun 12, 2019 6:07 pm

HB: I need to put the theory into practice

F: yeah

HB: maybe classroom practice

F: you can make a lot of money, teaching foreigners Chinese, everyone wants to do business in China

HB: blah blah blah

F: do you know what, I realise your English is very good, just talking to you

HB: really

F: at first, i didn't think it was so good but I realised, maybe I'm a stranger and you don't want to talk to me. I don't know but I realised your English is good

HB: :)

F: thank you

HB: I don't have many foreign friends here

NOTE: I think she felt relived because, I believe she is looking for a friend. I don't really mind at this stage. i think it would be good for me. Later on I might not have time for her but this is helping me at the moment, so we see. I did text her and she wants to meet up after her holiday, we will see what the future holds.

+ she doesn't speak much English because she hangs around Chinese people more

F: its kind of difficult because Chinese people understand you right, You both grown up in the same kind of city and you know each other very well. In order to learn English, you need to break away from that

HB: yeah of course

F: maybe get yourself a British boyfriend or something, I'm just saying. that way you can improve you English more

F: so where are you staying now, are you staying in Central london?

+ being quite again

F; so what you been up to, in Uk apart from studying and

HB: you mean what have I been up to recently

NOTE: I need to communicate more effectively. I need to get straight to the point more. It's like I'm tip toeing round circles just to please her. Just be more aware of this

F: yeah something like that

HB: go shopping

F: I'm not surprised actually because you know

F: go out with friends?

HB: go out with friends, playing games in there home

F; really do you like computer games?

HB table games blah blah how to cheat with each other

F: how do you play that game?

F: an example me and you, how would we cheat each other

+ the game is called, Wear wolf Kill

F: is it like Game of thrones

HB: no I don't think so

F: do you watch game of thrones?

HB: I didn't watch it

F: you should, it's really good

F: did you watch with subtitles?

HB: yes I did

F: you know what, your next stage of development will be to watch it with out subtitles. It's going to be quit hard to understand but you know

HB: yes

F: maybe you can watch peoples mouths or something.

F: maybe your English will get to a deeper level

HB: yeah

NOTE: it's good you are plowing. At the moment there is a lot of fluff but i feel that will improve over time. There seems to be a lot of work to be done

Blah blah blah both of us

F: why you don't you go to America?

NOTE: I start about talking about visas, which is too deep. it doesn't improve your skill to get laid. Don't go down this thread too much

F; how old are you by the way, you look very young, you look 24

HB 23

HB old old are you

+ I tell her my age

HB: you look so young

F: I think its the way I act, I feel like I aged a bit, I just feel like young at heart kind of thing

Next time: It comes across like you feel too old, next time say " a lot of people say that, I don't know why, i just feel very young.

NOTE: never say I feel like, you aged a bit

HB: maybe because most Asians have a younger face

F: ok, thank you so much :)

HB: hahaha

HB: so you grow up here

F: I was born here

F: I was born in Barking, do you know where Barking is?

F: Barking, I think it's in zone 4

NOTE: Barking is in zone 4

NOTE: you need to get to the point

F: because I use to work in property management, my dad has properties in Uk. I help him manage the properties. i help him let it out and stuff. that's why i'm here, around this area.

F: he has some properties in Nottingham and it's easier for me to get food down here.

NOTE: i think I'm running out of things to say, so i'm just waffling and plowing

F: do you live in the halls

HB: I live in a flat with Chinese friends

HB: I didn't get a halls offer because I studied here before

+she was student here 3 years ago

+ lived in kingston before

F: you must have enjoyed it in kingston, I heard it was an enjoyable place

HB: its beautiful, i really like the environment there

+ she like it better in Kingston than London

+ quite place

+ like living with room mates

+ go out 3 times a week

+ next 2 months, she will travel around

NOTE: It's past the 30 minute mark, so i'm just doing to bullet point the part I found interesting

+ what do you normally do at home

+ A lot of people think I'm Korean

+ I tell a story of me working in a restaurant and why i have a funny accent

+ how many handbags you have? 10 or 15

+ how many shoes you have?

+ we chat about how cheap the food is in China

+ how cheap the taxi is

conclusion: I think 40 minutes in i begin to feel a bit bored. It seems like I'm the one asking all the questions. I did learn a couple of things in the first 15 minutes. I feel also i should have kinoed a bit more even though she friend zoned me. I could have been the friend who touches women a lot. I should have made excuses to kino more. I enjoyed talking to this NO girl but writing this report made me realise how bland and boring the conversation is. There seems to be a lot of work to be done, to move things forward with my game. Writing report have helped me progress my game forward


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