Lately, I've been on a constant quest to improve myself and mannerisms, not just in terms of seduction, but in life also. As there are no mentors around me to learn from, I've taken it upon myself to research on others that will influence me positively. My natural frame of mind is the Hank Moody (Californication), as I'm mostly nonchalant and ready to hit back with humour at everything. However, I've noticed this is a limited way to approach life as I get older (I'm 28).
So I made up a list of fictional characters from TV shows and a few from real life that capture the essence of a strong frame and unshakeable mindset.
1. Don Draper from Madmen: Asides his good looks and skills with women, I've noticed a couple of things about this character. He only talks when he sees the need to. I find this very intriguing because the less one speaks (different from being shy), the more people are drawn to him. This is sprezzatura at its finest and it's not just about attracting girls but also gaining compliance from others and getting them to take you seriously.
2. Frank Underwood from House of Cards: When it comes to business and other matters, this is one character I admire. He gets what he wants by any means necessary and doesn't not change his decision because of what people think. His frame is rock solid and he barely gives away himself to others so even when he does, people will almost immediately succumb and do his bidding. I find this interesting because it has to be done with a certain skill, because I can't go about my business, getting people angry, at the same time, getting the results I want.
3. Lenny from The Young Pope: I'm currently watching this show again to study the main character. Already the show's creator, Paolo Sorrentino, has made a brilliant movie with a strong amazing male character (The Great Beauty... Though it's in Italian, if you want to pick up hints on Sprezzatura, watch this film). Lenny has a strong frame and has mastered sprezzatura. His body movement and speech reeks of intense confidence. He moves slowly but not sluggishly and is not afraid to smile devilishly when shit tests are dropped from all angles by the cardinals.
4. Shawn 'Jay-Z' Carter: Brilliant rapper and businessman, obviously, but there's one thing I've noticed about Jay-Z in interviews. He doesn't get drawn into the jokes the hosts make. In fact, they do their best to make things entertaining for him and he just sits back and laugh. This is an approach to life I've been seriously working on, as I tend to say witty things to get a reaction from people. This not only robs me of my power of influence but puts me in a position where I have to keep on entertaining people. Not saying I want to become a sour puss (nobody likes a boring man) but I want to be interesting enough to have people stay in the frame I create and watch them try to keep up.
5. Prof. Wole Soyinka: The Nigerian Nobel Laureate. As a Nigerian, I know how difficult it is to find men with sprezzatura and eloquence but this elderly gentleman just captures everything. I did a little research about him in his younger years and found out that he had continually evolved himself into what he is now. Everyone wants to know what his opinion is whenever he speaks and they strain their ears to catch every word because he rarely shouts.
So these are the men I'm studying to build a strong frame. Of course, I know it will take time but I've got to do what it takes to reach this goal. I am always conscious of my body language even when I'm alone and I practice speaking calmly but audibly in front of my mirror. I also create a schedule to read up on different issues so I don't stay ignorant. In terms of women, I have placed them as a second priority because going out of my way to chase women at this point is not what success men are about. Instead, I plan to make myself a highly valued man (even while picking up girls) and always ready to turn down the girls who do not fit into my plans.
Any additions or further points are welcome.
So I made up a list of fictional characters from TV shows and a few from real life that capture the essence of a strong frame and unshakeable mindset.
1. Don Draper from Madmen: Asides his good looks and skills with women, I've noticed a couple of things about this character. He only talks when he sees the need to. I find this very intriguing because the less one speaks (different from being shy), the more people are drawn to him. This is sprezzatura at its finest and it's not just about attracting girls but also gaining compliance from others and getting them to take you seriously.
2. Frank Underwood from House of Cards: When it comes to business and other matters, this is one character I admire. He gets what he wants by any means necessary and doesn't not change his decision because of what people think. His frame is rock solid and he barely gives away himself to others so even when he does, people will almost immediately succumb and do his bidding. I find this interesting because it has to be done with a certain skill, because I can't go about my business, getting people angry, at the same time, getting the results I want.
3. Lenny from The Young Pope: I'm currently watching this show again to study the main character. Already the show's creator, Paolo Sorrentino, has made a brilliant movie with a strong amazing male character (The Great Beauty... Though it's in Italian, if you want to pick up hints on Sprezzatura, watch this film). Lenny has a strong frame and has mastered sprezzatura. His body movement and speech reeks of intense confidence. He moves slowly but not sluggishly and is not afraid to smile devilishly when shit tests are dropped from all angles by the cardinals.
4. Shawn 'Jay-Z' Carter: Brilliant rapper and businessman, obviously, but there's one thing I've noticed about Jay-Z in interviews. He doesn't get drawn into the jokes the hosts make. In fact, they do their best to make things entertaining for him and he just sits back and laugh. This is an approach to life I've been seriously working on, as I tend to say witty things to get a reaction from people. This not only robs me of my power of influence but puts me in a position where I have to keep on entertaining people. Not saying I want to become a sour puss (nobody likes a boring man) but I want to be interesting enough to have people stay in the frame I create and watch them try to keep up.
5. Prof. Wole Soyinka: The Nigerian Nobel Laureate. As a Nigerian, I know how difficult it is to find men with sprezzatura and eloquence but this elderly gentleman just captures everything. I did a little research about him in his younger years and found out that he had continually evolved himself into what he is now. Everyone wants to know what his opinion is whenever he speaks and they strain their ears to catch every word because he rarely shouts.
So these are the men I'm studying to build a strong frame. Of course, I know it will take time but I've got to do what it takes to reach this goal. I am always conscious of my body language even when I'm alone and I practice speaking calmly but audibly in front of my mirror. I also create a schedule to read up on different issues so I don't stay ignorant. In terms of women, I have placed them as a second priority because going out of my way to chase women at this point is not what success men are about. Instead, I plan to make myself a highly valued man (even while picking up girls) and always ready to turn down the girls who do not fit into my plans.
Any additions or further points are welcome.