How do you train yourself to be more competitive?

tl;dr As per the title. What do you guys think? Are there ways to train this mindset?



As a bit of a brain dump, this is where I'm coming from about this; I used to be EXTREMELY competitive as a child - I was socially awkward and painfully shy, but if I got competitive, I would forget everything else in order thrive. During my teens however, I started experiencing depression and started consistently failing at most of my endeavors - was I traumatized? It sounds so pathetic, but for whatever reason, I started backing down from competition, and lost my main motivator. I'm now the really chill guy who is never really good at anything in particular, and never really gets much better. I hate this about myself, but faced with situations where I find I'm miles behind everyone, I can't find a way to keep myself going.

The habit of quitting is so strong it seems overwhelming sometimes, even as I watch it happen. My ongoing struggle is with swing-dance - my failure to get good actually got me down enough that I was depressed for a few months and I ended up quitting, after which I came to the realization that I actually didn't enjoy the music or culture of swing-dance at all... but I was pissed that I wasn't able to get at least half-decent at it anyway, or figure out how to play the social scene (which again, I was bewildered by - a lot of the guys there were STEM or really nerdy, and I had a lot of trouble connecting with them). Add to that an unsupportive (read - unfaithful) girlfriend and right now, the whole situation feel like a gigantic failure. Not quite sure what I should be learning from this.

What's up Squirrel,

The way I see it, you're living in the past too much. It's happened to me, as well. You end up stuck with thoughts like: "I used to be such a badass! What the hell happened? How can I ever get that good again?". Monologues like that never do you any good.


You see, our subconscious believes whatever we tell it. If you look at a wall and say, "There's no way I can climb that wall", your subconscious will believe it, and MAKE SURE you can't climb that wall.
Au Contraire, if you tell yourself, "I going to make this wall my bitch!", then your mind will do everything in its power to make sure you succeed in climbing that wall.

By framing your past self as this better version of you, your subconscious actually believes that you'll never be as good, as competitive, as happy ever again. This leads to your subconscious actually sabotaging you - because you've made it believe that you're inferior to that past self, and always will be.

In other words, stop telling yourself that you "just can't find a way to keep going". Lie to your mind, keep saying things like "I've never felt better", it will believe anything you say. You will change fundamentally. And then, actually go out and do shit. If there's no way ahead, carve one with your own hands.

Also, let go of the past, whatever might have happened, empty that little folder inside your head, and live in the present. Don't let your mind rest anywhere, on anyone. Keep your mind flowing, like water.

That's all I can think of right now...try it, and see for yourself.