Hey guys.
I've been reading girlschase for a good while, but I only decided to post here now because I don't know what else to do. I'm basically spinning my tyres, and I need some advice, ideally from someone who was in the same situation as me and managed to overcome it.
So, some context. I'm 29, Eastern European (and living there). I was alone all my life, except for a single relationship with a 4/10 girl I was not attracted to at all. I had sex with a handful of other women but the ones I would have wanted a relationship with never wanted me back. I haven't had sex in a year, and in the past 3 years I had sex less than 10 times in total.
I have been combating low self-esteem all my life, and it's basically making my life a living hell. I see myself as a sexual reject, I feel practically invisible for attractive girls. Most other people, even those with low self-esteem, seem to still be able to hold on to the concept that in the end they are going to find someone where attraction is mutual, but I simply cannot believe it.
And don't misunderstand me: I know this is irrational. There have been attractive girls who liked me, and I'm not some freak, so I know that my thought patterns are irrational. But I still FEEL like that. I feel like hot girls look at me like how a princess would look at some dirty peasant. I feel entirely undeserving of an attractive girl. I know I could overcome this if at last I could actually DATE a hot girl and feel valued and wanted, but as of yet I do not have this reference experience.
This is the only area of life where I am struggling, and I am confident in any other field. I'm good at what I do, I am financially independent and do pretty well, I am in reasonable shape, I am also a good musician, etc. I'm not a loser in any other area, but I still cannot progress in this one.
The reason I decided to post here is that I have already decided so many times before that I would learn pickup, but I always fail even before really starting out. I go out there to meet women (I'd prefer daygame because I don't like club music), and as soon as I see a hot girl, I start to feel inadequate, inferior and invisible. I just feel like it's hopeless for me to even try. And when you are in this mindset, it is impossible to have faith in success.
So. What I need advice in is how can I overcome this obstacle that basically stops me dead in my tracks whenever I would make the first step? How do you convince yourself that you can do something, if your deep-seated lack of self-esteem constantly tells you that you are not good enough, not attractive enough?
Basically: how can I start out and make it through without really believing in success until I actually get some?
I've been reading girlschase for a good while, but I only decided to post here now because I don't know what else to do. I'm basically spinning my tyres, and I need some advice, ideally from someone who was in the same situation as me and managed to overcome it.
So, some context. I'm 29, Eastern European (and living there). I was alone all my life, except for a single relationship with a 4/10 girl I was not attracted to at all. I had sex with a handful of other women but the ones I would have wanted a relationship with never wanted me back. I haven't had sex in a year, and in the past 3 years I had sex less than 10 times in total.
I have been combating low self-esteem all my life, and it's basically making my life a living hell. I see myself as a sexual reject, I feel practically invisible for attractive girls. Most other people, even those with low self-esteem, seem to still be able to hold on to the concept that in the end they are going to find someone where attraction is mutual, but I simply cannot believe it.
And don't misunderstand me: I know this is irrational. There have been attractive girls who liked me, and I'm not some freak, so I know that my thought patterns are irrational. But I still FEEL like that. I feel like hot girls look at me like how a princess would look at some dirty peasant. I feel entirely undeserving of an attractive girl. I know I could overcome this if at last I could actually DATE a hot girl and feel valued and wanted, but as of yet I do not have this reference experience.
This is the only area of life where I am struggling, and I am confident in any other field. I'm good at what I do, I am financially independent and do pretty well, I am in reasonable shape, I am also a good musician, etc. I'm not a loser in any other area, but I still cannot progress in this one.
The reason I decided to post here is that I have already decided so many times before that I would learn pickup, but I always fail even before really starting out. I go out there to meet women (I'd prefer daygame because I don't like club music), and as soon as I see a hot girl, I start to feel inadequate, inferior and invisible. I just feel like it's hopeless for me to even try. And when you are in this mindset, it is impossible to have faith in success.
So. What I need advice in is how can I overcome this obstacle that basically stops me dead in my tracks whenever I would make the first step? How do you convince yourself that you can do something, if your deep-seated lack of self-esteem constantly tells you that you are not good enough, not attractive enough?
Basically: how can I start out and make it through without really believing in success until I actually get some?