What do you do when a girl you've been sleeping with starts getting emotional?

I've been friends with benefits of sorts with this girl for a few weeks. We meet up once a week or so, hang out for a bit, go back to one of our places, and spend the next few hours... Anyway, I made it clear from the beginning that I'm not into relationships, and she knows that I'm sleeping with other girls (she actually thinks I'm sleeping with a lot more girls than I actually am). But lately she's been turning a mostly physical thing into more of an emotional thing. She kisses me goodbye almost romantically, she asks if she can cuddle, she tries to spend time with me doing not physical things, and I'm not sure I'm liking where this is going.

I'm worried our acquaintances-with-benefits thing is turning into a relationship, and I want to make sure that doesn't happen while keeping and preferably escalating our acquaintances-with-benefits position. What's the general tactic for when a girl starts to get the feels or tries to turn a physical thing into a dating thing?

Re: What do you do when a girl you've been sleeping with starts getting emotiona

It's not friends with benefits (FWB) when you "hang out for a bit" every time you meet. You only hang out the first time you meet and close the deal by sleeping together as soon as possible. Every meeting after that, you meet directly at either her or your place. No hanging out. She isn't judging your words. You can tell her for all eternity that you're not into relationships and just want to be single. But when your actions say otherwise, what is she supposed to think? It's like a girl saying "I would never go for a player", but all she goes for is a guy with that reputation. How much value would you give her words then? Although I have no idea what "hanging out" means in your life, it could be one of the reasons this is happening. Remember that for another time

Of course, maybe she is just the kind of girl that desperately wants to fall in love. Then there is no way you could prevent this no matter what you did.

In your place, assuming you want to continue, I would continue the way the relationship is now, with one exception: skip the hanging out. Reject cuddles and spending more time if you don't want to.

If she wants to have "the talk", and she might want that eventually, tell her things the way they are. You are still not looking for a relationship, you prefer to be single right now. If you would like to continue the way things are, tell her that. If you don't want to continue, tell her that. Most importantly: don't give her any hope of a relationship if you're not planning that.

Re: What do you do when a girl you've been sleeping with starts getting emotiona

Lover said:

It's not friends with benefits (FWB) when you "hang out for a bit" every time you meet. You only hang out the first time you meet and close the deal by sleeping together as soon as possible. Every meeting after that, you meet directly at either her or your place. No hanging out. She isn't judging your words. You can tell her for all eternity that you're not into relationships and just want to be single. But when your actions say otherwise, what is she supposed to think? It's like a girl saying "I would never go for a player", but all she goes for is a guy with that reputation. How much value would you give her words then? Although I have no idea what "hanging out" means in your life, it could be one of the reasons this is happening. Remember that for another time

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So where does that put us? Casual half-open relationship on my side where all our mutual friends think we're loose acquaintances? My big objection to a relationship is the exclusivity, because that puts a damper on my ability to practice and build up skill with new girls. I don't mind this girl, I don't really connect with her emotionally though I'm pretty sure that she doesn't feel the same way. She's fun to spend time with both in and out of bed, and as long as I strategically keep her from joining me at parties and things where I'm planning to hook up so as not to be a total ass, I get my freedom. Does it need to change? Is there a rulebook, because this feels like a play it by ear.

Re: What do you do when a girl you've been sleeping with starts getting emotiona

You just have to set a clear premise. Enjoying each other's time is no problem at all. You can easily be friends with benefits and do stuff together. You just have to frame the relationship as just for fun, and disqualify a future possibility for a relationship.
Sometimes she might want more, and you then just have to decide if it's a girl that you'll continue to have in your life. If it's someone you have to see often, it's better to end on good terms.

Re: What do you do when a girl you've been sleeping with starts getting emotiona

@Timtobbler

No rulebook. I'm simply suggesting what is, imo, the best frame to operate from. Why? Because chances are it is something you have done to make it an emotional thing for her. Maybe setting the frame as "not into relationship, I also sleep with other girls" was seen as a challenge for her to nail you down. Maybe you hanging out with her makes her unconsciously see things as more romantic. I don't know - I'm just saying that in all likelihood, it's something you did. As a man, it's your responsibility both verbally and behaviorally to set the correct frame.

Let's say you did that, but she's still turning things into a more bf/gf vibe. Now you have to stand by your frame that you're not looking for exclusivity - which is my suggestion in my previous post