How to deal with stage 5 clinger, condom breaking

Michelangelo

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Jan 13, 2014
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46
So, this girl, 22, came over to my place yesterday, we had dinner, talked for a bit and then eventually slept together 3 times that night. The problem: on the 3rd time the condom was broken after cumming.

This girl is cute and has very little signs of problems initially but I have recently discovered more and more red flags. First, she is a smoker and that's almost always a non starter for me, but can be ignored in a hook up. Second, Ive found out she has past physical abuse and at one time was homeless, which is something I don't think I have the experience to handle. Third, she is adamant about wanting a relationship and baby with me, and even asking me to move out of the state with her and her sister. Fourth, she explicitly lied to me saying she was on birth control. I am probably overly cautious, but I only sleep with women with a condom and birth control. Having only a condom is never enough protection imo. Fifth, she quit her job and says she rather sell edibles than look for a real job. Overall, it's clear and clearer to me she's no who I'd want to spend my rest of my life with, but I worry I may be put in a difficult position of having a kid.

She agreed to take plan B, but not until 24 hours later and only after I made it seem like I wanted kids with her, just not unexpectedly or now (I feel a little shitty lying, but I feel she's trapped me in a situation in which she is almost holding me potentially hostage after lying being on birth control initially.

The good thing is she's moving out of state. So I can wait things out. I think the odds are low that she's pregnant, but I'm at the point that wouldn't doubt her pretending to be pregnant to keep me around. I have caught her in a lie more and more recently.

What odds do you think she's pregnant, how should I break things off?

Any advice for handling this situation smoothly. My intuition is not to break things off abruptly because of the false pregnancy scare tactic I have a gut feeling she'd attempt, especially how she knew how worried I was about pregnancy and have stated that my responsibility as a father would make me care for the child if we had one.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Jun 9, 2019
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815
didn’t even have to read it. plan b is like $40 and worth the investment. if she doesn’t want to just tell her if she doesn’t take it you’ll never talk to her again.
 

Michelangelo

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Jan 13, 2014
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I was able to convince her to take plan B yesterday. I admittedly lied and said that it wasn't having kids in general that scared me but having kids right now. I said in 6 months or so, I'd be willing. She went for it, saying she preferred the astrological sign of that month or something. I encouraged that thought and we got plan B.

I was able to break things off through text just a few hours ago and she seemed disappointed and upset about it but she didn't go crazy or anything. There's just the thought in the back of my mind that she could still get pregnant or even pretend to get pregnant which will just fuck things up for me.

I learned a valuable lesson, to stick my dick only in girls I'd see myself dating. If I see any red flags just move on and jerk off. Or at least be confident she's not lying about birth control, while also wrapping it up.
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
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Oct 18, 2018
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1,576
You figured it out yourself but just stay away from the loonatics man. At the moment there is a girl like you are describing who keeps clinging to me and is a very easy target. She is hot and young, but I notice she has plenty of crazy going on. Just stay clear. Ive been there before a long time ago, it was a living hell until I broke it off. Not worth the sex.
 

Michelangelo

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Jan 13, 2014
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I concur about the living hell. The entire time we spent the day after the sex when I was trying to convince her to get plan B while pretending to still want to be with her and she was all over me, was torturous. I could see the depressing life I'd have with her, which she thought was a fantasy, flash before my eyes like a horror movie. I only spent enough time to end things with her and to ensure the plan B was taken and then have her leave under seemingly good terms, just so I can break things off today. My only hope is with how quickly she fell in love with me (I did nothing particularly special imo) she will find another guy quickly to have her take her sights off me.

Another thing about this situation that was a benefit was seeing how having what I thought an amazing night with a girl and then have her not text me back or be interested, could make sense. Because in this situation I absolutely was on the other side for this girl. Faking interest in someone when the other person is infatuated seems to not be difficult at all. In fact, the way I faked it, or a girl might fake it with a guy, makes that person become more infatuated.
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Sep 21, 2016
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1,453
Michelangelo,

I'm glad to hear that she was willing to take the Plan B. If I'm not mistaken you actually have 48-72 hours using most forms of the pill.

I was able to convince her to take plan B yesterday. I admittedly lied and said that it wasn't having kids in general that scared me but having kids right now. I said in 6 months or so, I'd be willing. She went for it, saying she preferred the astrological sign of that month or something. I encouraged that thought and we got plan B.

Faking interest in someone when the other person is infatuated seems to not be difficult at all. In fact, the way I faked it, or a girl might fake it with a guy, makes that person become more infatuated.
Well, I'm not going to morally shame you about this, but do you see how damaging misleading someone can be to you and others?

Implying that you are willing to have kids later on is going to motivate her to keep you around. That's how girls end up doing crazy shit to their boyfriends / lovers. They build up all these expectations in their head both explicitly (we'll have kids) and implicitly (we'll be a mother and father, raising kids together) and this can trigger all sorts of subtle or not-so-subtle behavioral changes. When the expectations are built on a lie, it can become quite messy. The whole thing comes crashing down in their heads and sends a hurricane of their emotions after you.. and then after they're done getting the upset out of them they may still want to be with you.

For your own sake, I suggest you tread carefully man.

3 Mistakes You MUST Avoid


Hue
 

Michelangelo

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Jan 13, 2014
Messages
46
I definitely agree with you about the leading her on thing. I admit my experience with crazies or breaking things off with girls is pretty little. To my defense, I was honest about the 6 months things in general initially since I'm 28 and probably want kids before 30. And initially she could have been the girl. I told her that and was willing to take things slow with her. But then she told me she was moving in 2 weeks, wanted me to change jobs and move suddenly and told me she lied to me about being on birth control and said she wanted kids. That and other red flags. I told her how hesitant I was about having kids with someone I just met and that I'd prefer to get plan B for the accident. But she instead lied again and said she had the pill at home and when pressed it was clear that she lied about it again. So then that's when I went into the 6 months thing (this time being true about in general but definitely a lie about with her). That's when she finally agreed to take it.

This is something I don't plan on ever doing again
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
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Jul 24, 2015
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2,092
Once you are SURE she took the Plan B, go no contact. She is moving anyway. Clean cut, don't drag it out.
 
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