A girl I was on a date with asked about my ex?

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
780
Any ideas on handling this situation dudes? I was out with a girl who seen me a couple times when I was with my ex. She brought up seeing me out with her an said how they ‘sized each other up’ and they had a bit of a go at each other on a dancefloor. She went on to question whether we lasted long but as more of a statement ‘you didn’t last that long. Did you?’ I was a little of guard, a didn’t expect to get questioned about her. I answered but in a casual tone of nope not really and then dismissed the topic to move on.

I didn’t want to get involved with this topic while my ex is currently attempting to run my name through shit an sabotage any of my relationships. So far she has derailed a few so really didn’t want to get involved with this. I managed to brush it of by saying its all in the past, it doesn’t change anything and let her know that a don’t kiss and tell. I don’t know if she picked up I was reluctant to get into it and possibly thought it was a sore topic. I
A have no idea why she would bring this up? And could I have handled this topic in a better way? Thanks dudes!
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
375
I think you handled it well. I would have said something similar like:

"We had a good thing and I wish her all the best in her future. As for the inner workings of our relationship.....I'm not someone who kisses and tells. Maybe I'd tell you more if we were to get to know each other a bit better, but I dunno...."

Lots of stuff here - you come off as cool and high value because you're wishing your ex the best, you display discreteness, and you can get her chasing by saying if she get's to know you better you might reveal a bit more.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
good GC article on the type of woman who does that.The "Cluster B"

This can play out on far more than just an interpersonal level; the Cluster B who goes into "devalue" mode, also called "painting you black," is going to engage in public shaming and humiliation (which she'll later regret and try to take back, when she idealizes you again). She will tweet about what an asshole you are. She will tell her social circle about how poorly you treat her - regardless of whether it's true. Because remember, this is all going on inside her head, not in reality.

If you work together, she may go on a smear campaign that costs you your job and your reputation. These are things she cannot take back, even when she no longer believes she was in the right. So if you're with a girl who fluctuates constantly between loving you and hating you… don't take it personally. There's something wrong with her, and there is no such thing as a happy relationship with a Cluster B.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
815
here is a really good video on cluster b women

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE5fZaAzXws

also drug addiction looks a lot like cluster b in women too. a lot of the prettiest young women have the personality, but i believe most grow out of it by their mid twenties and are not in fact cluster b. if you're dating young girls you have to tolerate cluster b behaviors and drug use.
 

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
780
Fuck this dude! Are ya meaning my ex for trying to run my name through shit? Am well aware she's a cluster B girl. Her attitude since speaks volumes! (There were signs before and during dating to be fair). Or are ya meaning my date for even asking about it?

Naturalmikey dude! I do find a lot of the 18 - 21 yo girls am seeing have some vibes of those behaviours. There's little differences with it though. The current date in this situation is mid twenties but a originally dated her when she was 19.

JacobPalmer dude! I like ya tips an a wanted to say that I wished her well but she gave me an out asking if she wanted to see me more often. Which is true, I have a busy schedule so don't get much free time. The issue with saying if I know ya better we dated about 6 years ago.

Having a past with this girl didn't particularly help. I think knowing that I was official with my ex possibly made her view me more as boyfriend material than lover. There's too much tension between us and she makes it awkward getting nervous. Its It's a strange situation dudes!
 
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