Dealing with her an her orbiter behaviour?



Dealing with her an her orbiter behaviour?

Postby Fluxcapacitor » Wed Jul 17, 2019 7:21 pm

I mentioned this briefly in a recent post by DarkKnight, I was out this weekend and seen my friend encounter a strange event, one that a warned him about but he went ahead anyway. After watching it unfold a thought that could also happen without ya being aware so how would you handle it?

While doing night game at a club me and my friend seen two separate girls that were both out with their guy friends. I didn’t like the behaviour of the girl that I liked with her orbiters and despite getting a big AI I didn’t approach because of her unacceptable behaviour. (dancing with them, being twirled by them even if she lead the move, them touching her and her touching or grabbing their faces – well that’s just encouragement really) My friend on the other hand went and approached the other girl that he liked after he pointed out to me she kept looking at him. A advised he didn’t bother because of her behaviour but he went ahead anyway. (similar behaviour but her orbiters were even more hands on). Not only were her orbiters now competing with him for her attention and trying to derail him throughout at the end of the night he had his arm round her after setting up a date and getting her number when one of her orbiters walked over to them and put his arm round her as well!

This is a situation that could happen if you weren’t aware she had orbiters with her when you met and they could come and put their arm round her while you are. A wouldn’t know what’s the best way to handle this situation? If you let go and walked of as you found it unacceptable you would be relying on her to tell him to fuck of and come back to you, but this could be seen that you backed down to this orbiter. If you were to keep your arm around her to not back down you could be in a really weird limbo here. I think walking of because shes gonna be to much hassle might be the best way to handle this because ya would only have to stamp out that behaviour anyway. That’s not necessarily an issue for a SNL ONS at which would ya keep ya arm round her? Thanks dudes!
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Re: Dealing with her an her orbiter behaviour?

Postby JacobPalmer » Thu Jul 18, 2019 11:11 am

Here's the thing:

1. Her behaviour is not unacceptable. You don't know who this girl is and she has 0 obligations to you. It's almost like you're saying, "she's slept with other guys, that's unacceptable behaviour. " Girls like attention, that's a fact, so get off your high horse and approach. (Sorry if I'm coming across as a dick here, genuinely trying to help you see what I'm seeing :) )

2. If you don't approach, you don't get the girl. And honestly, sounds like your friend did get the girl, or almost anyway.

Now to answer your question about what to do, if he's got his arm around her and then an orbiter swoops in you have a couple options:

1. This is probably the best option: give him and her a quizzical look, ask him (or her?) if this is her boyfriend. She/he will say no, and then you can say to her - "Are your non-boyfriends normally this protective over you?" She'll say something, you just reply with, "hmmmm, well tell you what, once the two of you are done caressing each other, come find me and we can talk a bit more." (said in a non-butthurt/almost happy kind of way)

2. Say, "Wow you two look really good together, you must be dating." And kindof proceed as above

3. Try to befriend him, or get him to like you. This ones a bit trickier. I think the best way for this is to still ask if they are together, and then when they say no, say, "Well in that case, I quite like this girl, she's really interesting, and I understand you're being protective over her because you don't want to see her get hurt, but I'm not the kind of guy who goes around hurting cute little girls like [her name]."

And in each scenario I wouldn't remove your arm (unless you leave and tell her to come find you somewhere else).
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Re: Dealing with her an her orbiter behaviour?

Postby Jakeroviks » Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:32 pm

I didn't even read the whole post because you are overthinking it. The best way to handle an orbiter is to not care about the orbiter.

If you acknowledge the orbiters you're competing for her, making her the prize, chasing her. Big no-no. Disregard them.
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Re: Dealing with her an her orbiter behaviour?

Postby naturalmikey » Thu Jul 18, 2019 11:18 pm

JacobPalmer wrote:Here's the thing:

1. Her behaviour is not unacceptable. You don't know who this girl is and she has 0 obligations to you. It's almost like you're saying, "she's slept with other guys, that's unacceptable behaviour. " Girls like attention, that's a fact, so get off your high horse and approach. (Sorry if I'm coming across as a dick here, genuinely trying to help you see what I'm seeing :) )

2. If you don't approach, you don't get the girl. And honestly, sounds like your friend did get the girl, or almost anyway.

Now to answer your question about what to do, if he's got his arm around her and then an orbiter swoops in you have a couple options:

1. This is probably the best option: give him and her a quizzical look, ask him (or her?) if this is her boyfriend. She/he will say no, and then you can say to her - "Are your non-boyfriends normally this protective over you?" She'll say something, you just reply with, "hmmmm, well tell you what, once the two of you are done caressing each other, come find me and we can talk a bit more." (said in a non-butthurt/almost happy kind of way)

2. Say, "Wow you two look really good together, you must be dating." And kindof proceed as above

3. Try to befriend him, or get him to like you. This ones a bit trickier. I think the best way for this is to still ask if they are together, and then when they say no, say, "Well in that case, I quite like this girl, she's really interesting, and I understand you're being protective over her because you don't want to see her get hurt, but I'm not the kind of guy who goes around hurting cute little girls like [her name]."

And in each scenario I wouldn't remove your arm (unless you leave and tell her to come find you somewhere else).


this is all good. the difference is the friend had the balls to approach a mixed set and op has created several coping mechanisms out of thin air to explain why he's a pussy. grow up bro and quit making excuses.
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Re: Dealing with her an her orbiter behaviour?

Postby Fluxcapacitor » Fri Jul 19, 2019 1:06 pm

JacobPalmer dude ya right this girl had zero obligation to me and girls do like attention. I shouldn’t have been so caught up on this. Ya tips for dealing with this are great and falls in place with a lot of things I’ve read here but never thought of applying it in this situation. I’ve never been in this situation, girls orbiters usually keep away from me. - side note my friend almost got that girl, I got another that I approached before he made his approach (more on this in response to naturalmikey dude)

Jakeroviks dude loved ya insight! Totally right that I made a deal of this by acknowledging her orbiters when they were no competition, there’s a reason they’re stuck in the friend zone. Personally I didn’t like either groups dynamic, possibly a reason a lot of authors on GC say how they don’t go for party girls. If you’re in a club you’re most likely meeting party girls. Comes with the territory!

Naturalmikey dude it wasn’t an excuse not to approach a mixed group, I approached another mixed group and left with another girl. I just didn’t like the dynamic of the group this girl was with. My mate approached but didn’t get anywhere for it. She got one of her orbiters to keep out with him while she went home, they text the next day and she flaked on their date and no longer talking to him. Emotions possibly didn’t stick? Maybe he fucked up with his texts? I approached a better scenario and slept with the girl I left with who’s now chasing me.

If there was nothing else to approach I wouldn’t have approached so ya right, I would have been a pussy. I remember reading a post by DarkKnight dude where he asked if girls realise their guy friends can be deterrents. For both these groups I found the guy friends deterrents because I personally didn’t like the dynamics. Maybe this is weak, maybe it is an excuse for a coping mechanism but I’m not going to approach a girl that’s dry humping another guy assuming he’s just an orbiter and its open season. There’s other girls to approach! But I will approach more of these opportunities!
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