How to cold approach without scaring her?

I'm a naturally aloof guy, great at building sexual tension. I kill it on dates.

However when I approach, I feel like I can't approach naturally because it's going to scare the girl.

I'd love to do a Javier Bardem style approach, like in Vicki Cristina Barcelona. but I feel like most girls would clam up, get anxious, etc. Most girls I approach react this way.

There is always this anxious, when is this guy going to leave me alone, kind of energy. How do I handle this?

To add to this, I've talked to girls and read their feelings on being approached, and all of them said no, they don't want to be approached. Many said it was scary, a few said it was annoying.

I'm more more concerned with the girls who are afraid, because if a girl is annoyed and starts throwing tests, you can pass them and turn out fine. But if the girl is running away from you the scary stranger... there's nothing you can do.

I live in a large city with a reputation for people being closed off and wary of strangers. Not an excuse, but something to overcome.

there's a theory called the indifference threshold. i believe it originated with rsd tyler, but i'm not 100% sure. anyway, it states that after doing a few approaches you become indifferent to the results. this is called the indifference threshold.

i remember one day i was at the roosevelt pool party thing on sundays, this is in hollywood. you're supposed to be a guest there, but i met some rnb singer outside and went in with him.

i approached every cute girl there, a few multiple times. there were a lot of hot girls there. i got one's number, this chick from italy. she said she had a boyfriend. the thing is i would hook and lose them over and over. it was because i was never outcome independent. until i was. after running out of girls i went to bungalow, a bar in santa monica. i was on a mission. i opened a girl with don't go, if you go you're dead to me. i ended up fucking her in the bathroom a couple minutes later.

the difference was that i had not reach that point where i became indifferent. even when i used to do a lot of cold approach, i never started out not in my head. the fucked up thing is i would fuck a lot of girls from sets where i started in my head. eventually in that one interaction i would reach indifference. i quit doing warm up sets after i fucked 3 in a row. i'm like i gotta start going for only hotter girls.

you just have to keep going. don't listen to your head. your head doesn't want you to put yourself out there and get rejected because it will hurt your ego. you gotta get over that shit. it doesn't hurt that bad. i got in a fight the other night. i punched some dude. the reason i could do that is because i've been punched before and i know it doesn't hurt that bad. getting rejected. nothing hurts as bad as a life of regret because you hardly fucked any girls because you're a big pussy. that's the one thing getting a lot of pussy does for you. it gives you one less thing to regret on your death bed. do you wanna die having only been with ten girls or so? hell no you don't. i believe every man wants to die knowing he slept with 100 women. many give up on the dream. it's so easy to get to eventually you slow down because you realize that by reaching your feet you became hypersexualized, which is unhealthy. or you keep going because you're a full blown sex addict. either way, it's a number i think every guy wants to hit. becoming hypersexual is a problem every man should learn how to control. that's when you're really not desperate anymore. you can take sex or leave sex. you start to get the hottest girls because they're the ones you want. but you have to be a man.

I get you man, but it's really not about the rejection. The rejection hurts, sure. But I can handle it.

The hard part for me is knowing that I'm giving someone a bad time. Inconveniencing their day. I've had women look at me with a legitimate look of fear when I approached them. It makes sense to me because I'm a big guy. I can see how it would be intimidating for this big guy to come up and she doesn't know what I want.

On the other hand, this is great for everything PAST the approach, because I easily build sexual tension.

When I've tried being indirect, she smells an agenda and ends up cutting away ASAP.

When I've tried being direct, it kills the attraction because she knows she has me, assuming she stays.

Would it make sense to approach, talk for a minute, walk away then approach again when later when she's warmer?

I think a big part of this is I've been trying daygame on the streets where people don't expect to be bothered. Maybe I'd be better off going to a more relaxed place like a park or event.

I just need to nail down the approach part. Funny because it's the first part most people learn - but it's the weakest part of my game.

if you're good at everything but opening why don't you go out to bars and have a couple drinks first. i spent an entire year doing game sober. my game got good, but my opening was definitely my weakest part. then i started drinking when i'd go out and it was like game on steroids. opening is so much easier. so is being obnoxious.

day game is great for really high quality girls. i think everyone should do it. but night game is where you're gonna be getting most of your same day/night lays.

Hey man,

Stop thinking about how you are bothering people. If you are in sales and think like this you wont sell anything near your potential. Women tend to bother me and others as well with extreme obnoxious attention whoring, so stop thinking about them as victims. If they show or tell they are being bothered then sure just eject. Nothing bad happened you only took a minute of her life, a minute which would otherwise be wasted to something like instagram.

If you believe you have value, you genuinely believe you provide an opportunity it gets easier. I know that this is a difficult mindset to have, you need lots of positive feedback in order to cultivate it. Especially since girls like to hide their attraction. It took me some years and sometimes I still catch myself doubleguessing leaving some DISAPPOINTED girls in hindsight.

I read your posts, you are seeing girls too much as the prize.

Just build up your value and keep approaching but in your case you might want to look for approach invitations.

But I cannot stress this enough because I feel a lot of guys are really slacking in this area:

Work on your fundamentals, your hygiene (I know some guys who dont understand how important this is if you can believe it!), your clothing. This takes time and effort there is no magic bullet or line.

I'm going to focus on warm girls/ girls giving out approach invitations for now. AI in particular I don't kbow and need to learn.

I thibk it very well could be a value issue. I kill on dates because I KNOW that she's going to have a great time. I know this because from experience I do the things that other guys don't do. I lead, and allow her to chase.

When it comes to approaching, I can't see her enjoying it. Why would she want a stranger to come up and talk to her? I just see it as a means to an end. If I get her on the date, then we're golden.

It does sound like an issue of mindset

Nothing wrong with approachjng warm girls. I am at that fase right now because I really cant bother with difficult girls.

Also if a hot girl approaches you, would you get annoyed? Come on