Interesting situation

RustinKohle · Jul 5, 2019

Thered a woman I'm quite smitten with, we banged first night hanging out, explosive and passionate. I had to go out town for family for a couple weeks after, when I come back, bam right back at it. Now I have to leave a second time for a weekend, and since this time I havent been able to isolate her and she's been only trying to hang in public. Although still lovey and flirtatious, hasnt come with me to a situation where we can bang again. Any thoughts on how I can break this, or what could cause the change in attitude? I have banged other women in the frame to keep me fresh but this is one I'd like to keep around

matteo-d · Jul 5, 2019

Well, if this is one you'd like to keep around, then is it really that bad to have some activities in public like this ?

Maybe she wants to experience more with you because she really likes you.

Anyway, I would say to say no to any activity she wants to do where there is no possibility to have sex.
And always say "I'm not available but maybe we can do this on saturday..." And by this you only propose things that are done in a context where sex could happen later in the night.

Another thing is to keep bringing sexual topics in the conversation, until she's horny enough to jump on you

RustinKohle · Jul 5, 2019

well no it is definitely not the worst thing to be with her in public, shes very cool and we have alot of fun together. I just have a high sex drive and havent really wanted to bang other girls that bad (small town college town during the summer, shes pretty high quality, my attempts at finding better are complete failures on top of my own desires). I would definitely try that, but the social circle makes so she doesn't have to give direct invites, but i could just go MIA for a bit, and when she asks if im going defer because im busy. She has been receptive to sexual topics still, so i see that as a good sign, just not sure how long is too long before it becomes outright teasing.

Fluxcapacitor · Jul 5, 2019

Rustinkohle dude! She's slowing down the interaction and getting you to invest publicly.... this is her attempt to control the relationship and make you commit. The more you do this the more ya will fuck yourself because ya relationship isn't advancing. This will slow and slow unless she feels there's commitment.

The social circle invites keeps things casual and stops her ego getting put out of place if ya reject.

The change in attitude is to get what she wants and take control, to break this ya need to lead and isolate. Rather than her inviting you, ya have to invite her. Ya need to be unavailable for what she wants to do with her friends. Hanging with her an her friends is boyfriend or orbiter zone...

Ya need to break the cycle by making it happen. If she likes ya she'll be available just as ya have been while she's showed you off to her friends dude!

RustinKohle · Jul 6, 2019

Flux, that is my suspicion as well. I'm not opposed to committing as long as I also get consistent sex. The issue with the circle is I had been friends with alot of her friends before we had really hung out at all. But there are things I can do instead of take the invites. Oftentimes I'll already be hanging out with a group and she will end up coming, so it's not as if I only hang out with them simply to appease her, definitely didnt make that clear

Fluxcapacitor · Jul 6, 2019

Rustin dude! That changes the dynamic slightly but ya still need to lead an isolate. Ya need to let her know that when ya together things get sexual an physical an ya have a window to do this to perfection while ya out.

If she's flirty an open to ya, get to a high note where ya both getting on an it's fun an suggest the date. This will encourage her to take ya up on this. Any moment ya can isolate ya have to look to do this to encourage her to meet you on her own.

Her just turning up could also be a sign of chasing an investing. Try an reward her for compliance an investment an this will help ya when ya isolate her dude!

RustinKohle · Jul 6, 2019

I have tried to reward the investment but she hasnt complied with the isolation lately, guess I'll have to change the reward up first and go from there. Could also be shit tests to see how long it can go

Fluxcapacitor · Jul 7, 2019

Rustin dude! If she's playing games don't persist. Act bored an go aloof. Depending on situations that's happened ya have either passed or failed already but social circle usually buys ya another chance. Ya don't want negative compliance, ya may need to start on smaller requests an build up.

Keep warm with her but limit ya contact be social with ya friends but not overly friendly with her. From what a read in ya post I bet she'll position herself near ya an try to get ya attention. She might keep her distance out of awkwardness but be cool about this an break the ice later if ya need to dude!

RustinKohle · Jul 7, 2019

Yea that's what I'm thinking, no need to go cold on her but definitely have to fall back, keep light contact and build up with smaller requests into an isolation

RustinKohle · Jul 14, 2019

Figured id update for the readers to say i did indeed fail whatever tests she threw out. hit me with a message the other day along the lines of "Hey ive been thinking that were better off as friends, I hope this doesnt make it weird or anything because i like seeing you out and about, youre really awesome and cute so its gonna be hard not to flirt with you." She sends mixed signals to the end. I gather the recent long term relationship that ended for her (she said about 3 years, and they broke up 4ish months ago) played a role in her wanting to keep some freedom. I did bang another girl that night whose been pining me for a while now to remind myself its not all bad. Who knows, in a month or two maybe things change or a better girl comes my way.

JacobPalmer · Jul 14, 2019

RustinKohle said:
Figured id update for the readers to say i did indeed fail whatever tests she threw out. hit me with a message the other day along the lines of "Hey ive been thinking that were better off as friends, I hope this doesnt make it weird or anything because i like seeing you out and about, youre really awesome and cute so its gonna be hard not to flirt with you." She sends mixed signals to the end. I gather the recent long term relationship that ended for her (she said about 3 years, and they broke up 4ish months ago) played a role in her wanting to keep some freedom. I did bang another girl that night whose been pining me for a while now to remind myself its not all bad. Who knows, in a month or two maybe things change or a better girl comes my way.

Just text her back

k........

"

And then don't respond to anything she says after that unless she starts chasing hard. She's probably just confused right now, maybe even feeling that you've been chasing too much, so you need to pull back.

RustinKohle · Jul 14, 2019

I agree, some space will help. A lesson on too much too soon for sure

Interesting situation

RustinKohle

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matteo-d

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Fluxcapacitor

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RustinKohle

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