Cute girl writes sticky note message on my windshield

Michelangelo

Space Monkey
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Jan 13, 2014
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Hey guys, so this cute girl that lives in my apartment building that Ive seen maybe a dozen short times when I take my dog out to go to the bathroom just left a sticky note on my car:

Hi! Ran into you by the elevator with your dog again. Text me?
XXX-XXX-XXXX NAME

So, we've had short banter before, but it's always been about my dog mainly with a few bits about where we work, etc. But it's never been clear if it's just my dog she's interested in and I've always been busy taking him to the bathroom and then either going to work or coming back from work, that I never stopped to chat her up longer.

So, am I reading into this being an overt way that she is trying to start things up with me? Also any suggestions for what to respond. The only thing that makes me unsure about how to respond is that it's ambiguous what she's wanting, so if I be too forward it might throw her off, or if she's genuinely interested, I don't want to be boring or platonic.

Here's what I got so far:

Hey Name, I got your little note on my car :) At first, I thought it was something from our building, but was pleasantly surprised to see it was from you :p ...it might have been a bit stalkerish, but it was cute, so I'll overlook that ;)
-Michelangelo

(Let me know if that chase frame is good enough)

Thanks in advance guys!
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Hey Name, I got your little note on my car :) At first, I thought it was something from our building, but was pleasantly surprised to see it was from you :p ...it might have been a bit stalkerish, but it was cute, so I'll overlook that ;)
-Michelangelo

This is ok, but it also looks like you're putting in a ton of effort here and almost over gaming her. The fact is that you have some rapport with her already, and she put in a ton of effort to write her # on your car which is a huge sign of interest. She's definitely wanting to start things up with you. I'd go with something more like:

"Hey Name, I got your little note on my car :) We should run into each other somewhere other than the elevator for once. Drinks?"

No beating around the bush, make a move.
 

Michelangelo

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Thanks JP, I texted her my message before seeing your response, but she responded well to it. Though, I did also use your line later.

*Minor hiccup, apparently she put that note on my car as she was leaving town for the weekend. The last time I saw her she was taking stuff to her car and I didn't realize she was leaving town. Here's the text exchange:

HER: Haha I haven't quite mastered stalking yet and couldn't find your place so I figured your car was the next best place!! :p

M: Well, you'll just have to try a little harder to find out where I live then ;p So I'm thinking, we should run into each other somewhere other than the elevator for once. Grab a bite to eat or drink?

HER: Haha sounds like I am going to have to!! ;) I definitely think we need to! I would be down for either!

M: Are you free anytime soon? Tonight?

(Man, I thought striking while the iron was hot was going to work great here. I feel if she was in her apartment she'd have jumped at this opportunity, but so it goes haha)

HER: No:( unfortunately I am gone until next Sunday. But I would love to do something then:)

M: That's a bummer :p I guess we'll both just have to be a bit more patient, Name ;)

HER: I know!! That might be a bit of a challenge :p haha


My plan is to not chase or do too much rapport texting until she gets back. With the last girl I was talking to, our excitement died down when we texted too much (even though the exchanges went well, there wasn't enough intrigue to get her out seeing as we were an hour away from each other) so I plan on not making that mistake again. She's already invested a lot by putting that note, so she won't give up that easily. I'm sure she'll make the effort, so I don't need to chase her.
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Jun 24, 2019
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375
Everything through that text exchange sounds great! I agree, don't text her too much while she's away, and shoot for planning something for when she's back.

Important note here: always ask for what her schedule is. You kindof did it by asking are you free anytime soon, but then also suggested "tonight." That way she can never really reject a date that you set. e.g.

You: when are you free OR what's your schedule like OR what are one or two days you're free etc
Her: I'm actually away until Sunday!
You: Oh nice, guess we'll both have to be a bit more patient then ;)
Her: blah blah
You: blah

End convo, then set something up when she's back. Everything looks pretty solid though. :)
 

Michelangelo

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I don't think suggesting "tonight" hurt my chances at all since it was to keep the ball rolling which women appreciate (I could be off the mark though). It was more of a lost opportunity than a rejection as it was more of an offer of something she wants than a request of her. In fact, I bet she was more disappointed than I was haha. So I feel like I accomplished asking her when she'd be available soon and also signaled to her that I don't bear around the bush. While generally I agree about the asking for availability, I've had good success in the past with girls feeling swept up together by doing subtle things like this of leading the interaction. Also it's fun to play it a little risky at times. Though admittedly, sometimes they are just busy.

Thanks for your advice btw! Sometimes I need to be reminded of things I already know and usually do, like not beating around the bush that you suggested. It's very easy to mindlessly text and not realize the consequences due to getting a reaction (vs actual results in person).
 

JacobPalmer

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No problem, happy to help! Sometimes you just need a fresh/outside set of eyes on things. Sounds like your interaction with her is going well in any case. Looking forward to a continued update on this.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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i'd be more concise in your texting. this should be a layup. the only one who can fuck it up is you. but there's no reason you are not enough.

on the other hand your relative value to her is very high considering she left a note on your car. displaying slightly lower value by doing something like texting a little more than necessary could make her feel closer in value to you. if you appear to high value she might not want the ego blow of you just not caring. so if she's just cute that's probably the best. if she is legit hot though never lower your value if you can help it. ask yourself what chris hemsworth would do. i guarantee he doesn't send long texts to girls he thinks are hot and he knows likes them. he's probably just like "hey it's chris (the note)". something like that is all it takes. you don't have to say everything.

personally i don't like to ask a girl if she's free on a certain day. if she is legitimately busy she has no choice to reject your offer. i like to find out when a girl is free and work out a day you're both free. i don't want my original offer rejected, even if she has no choice, it's never good.
 

Michelangelo

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Jan 13, 2014
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I'll keep the relative value thing in mind. I am focused generally on not appearing weak or needy, that it could make my attainabilty worse for this girl who is chasing me, thanks naturalmikey.

Because I sense there could be a attainablity issue. I do have a lot of stuff going on in my life that it isn't like I'd be purposely ignoring her or anything. I've got interesting job and hobbies (and she's seen me on my way to do those things a few times and showed a lot of interest in my activities) that I feel that all I have to do is offer her if she wants to join me and she'll take me up on that offer. Not to get too cocky, but I feel once things become in person, things will go smoothly. I just hate texting and setting up dates haha
 

naturalmikey

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i stumbled onto the relative value thing by mistake. i'm somewhat unique looking. some girls think i'm gorgeous, some girls think i'm ugly. i started noticing with girls where i was actually their type, that my value would come off too high and they wouldn't feel like they could have me.

here's an example my relative perceived value theory

we'll call me a 7 and the target a 7 objectively. the target may be having a shit day and feel her value is a five. people's perceived values fluctuate greatly. she may perceive me as a 9. if i'm aloof it won't be worth her time to get rejected and she will eject.

same situation with another girl. she's a seven and something just happened to boost her confidence so she perceives her own value to be a nine. she thinks i'm only above average, a six. a lot of game is going to be required to bridge the value gap. a three point difference would be a lot to overcome.

in both situations ideally you want your perceived value to be one point higher than hers. you want to be high value and also attainable.

this is the reason game is so effective when you approach enough. an eight could see herself as a six. and although your a five she perceives you to be a seven. despite her being three points higher than you in value, she may perceive you, in the moment, to be higher value. if someone of average value or better approaches enough women, some are going to see him as higher perceived value. as long as he is working out logistics and escalating, he's going to get results. for newbies the important thing is to learn and get better game. Also, increase your value as much as possible.
 

Michelangelo

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Jan 13, 2014
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I think I'm in a similar boat in terms of my own attractiveness. I would put myself at a 8/9 for some girls but a 5/6 for others. I think it's because I'm only 5'9, not really muscular (but fit). Also, I'm introverted, except in 1 on 1s with girls. So girls who are looking for big, muscular extroverts see me as average. But for girls where that isn't an issue because they are smaller than I am or shy, I have great success with. They generally make it obvious they are into me, making things go really smoothly.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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this is from mystery and is a good part of your underlying meta frame (aka inner game)

The Creed:
I make no excuses for my desires as a man.
I move through this world without apology.
I like to satisfy women.
I don't need any particular woman, I am not needy.
Women are abundant.
I do not supplicate to women because they find it unattractive. Rejection is a good thing. The more I get rejected, the more I will get laid. I learn something every time. Every rejection becomes a brick in my palace. I do not dwell in the past.
The past can not be relived, good or bad.
I have a wide range of options in how I choose to react to other people. The choice is mine.

i posted on this thread viewtopic.php?f=3&t=20983 swinggcat's chapter on developing a meta frame.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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Jun 9, 2019
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read the lr. i’ll be honest, with this given situation you did the best thing. you built comfort over text during the time she was gone. i would’ve just been like “cool i’ll see ya when ya get back.” the problem with the way i would’ve done it is she may have been excited for a couple days and got over it. comfort building is my strong suit.
 
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