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What does PERSISTENCE mean to you?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 7:44 am
by DarkKnight
I have seen the word "persistence" being thrown left and right, but I start to figure that a lot of people have their own definitions of what persistence really means in a matter which is relevant to us.

The way I understood: persistence is acting in the now and not chasing later on. Also Rolstads article about active persistence and passive persistence makes a lot of sense. However the term keeps remaining vague one way or the other. So I want to ask the experienced guys, what is your comprehension about "persistence".

Because sometimes I see people persist when they should have moved on already and sometimes I see people throw in the towel quite early.

Re: What does PERSISTENCE mean to you?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 8:51 am
by Ghost202
Persistence means not being a bitch when you are called to close the deal or step in to diffuse a problem

Re: What does PERSISTENCE mean to you?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 12:29 pm
by Seppuku
Persistence means you don't give up and just keep trying when things look sub optimal.

But to me it took me some time to clearly see where the boundary stands between persistence and chasing. It turns out that the difference between both is neediness.

In other words, the difference between chasing and persisting, is: chasing is needy. Persistence isn't.

And the key to being non needy is: you are willing to let her go if it comes to that.

So, the key to persistence is that you keep trying, yet still have clearly defined limits. As in: "I will ask her out up to three (*) times. After that, I will consider that I have made my intentions clear, and the ball now stands clearly in her camp. It is now for her to play it, or the match is over".

(*) insert your own tolerance here.

If she didn't make a clear step after my three attempts, I will simply move on to another target. If I really liked her, I may shoot a ping text after a couple of months. But chances are that I would have got another girl by then.


Re: What does PERSISTENCE mean to you?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 2:44 pm
by naturalmikey
Ideally on a meta level you havethe innger game telling you you've got what it takes amdyour gonna accomplish your goals. You want to persist in constantly trying to make the actuallization of your goals happen quickly.

On a micro level by persisting too much on one individual aspect of your goal you are neglecting the goal in its entirety due to opportunity costs and possible discouragement. If I don’t get laid on the first night, if there are no special circumstances (her contacted me) i’m done. I don’t want to persist, waste more time and money, and get rejected again. No thank you. At the level of the pickup I feel the same way. I’m not using a four times rule. If she’s bitchy and bratty and just plane rude I may walk away on my own merit not rejected because I don’t like her. If she’s just bratty butI like her I might persist with her shit all night.

Persistence on a micro level is overrated. Persistence on your goals is key.

Re: What does PERSISTENCE mean to you?

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 7:54 am
by DarkKnight
Interesting insights, I can see that persistence for everyone is a bit different. However I tend to lean that Sepukkus approach is the most effective and also his distinction about persistence coming from a position of neediness yes or no.

Personally I would try two times. The first time can go wrong because it is unexpected for the girl or because they want to think through thousand of things, but the second time is final. Also between the first time and second time I will use plenty of space, in order not to seem too needy. Or else your attainability shoots up way to high.

When they reengage it depends on the situation