I am starting to lose faith in this whole game concept. is it worth it?

AdamEngineer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
40
So my parents and I were talking about school and the past few years of me at college. This was the topic of the conversation because I had received an email of my confirmation that I graduated as an Engineer. Awesome!

Problem is that during school my parents insist my focus was elsewhere such as my social life and dating scene. It was new for me to enter college and have all this opportunity to meet people. But being incredibly awkward at the time and full of social anxiety and low self-esteem, it made it very difficult for me to go out, have fun, etc. This continued even after I found a few friends whom I am still friends with. They are right, my focus was off and my grades suffered, but I never actually neglected the work by partying. Ironically, I was depressed I wasn't going out, having a good time, and that in turn made my grades depressed.

This all being said, unless I explained to them the stuff I learned here wrong, the stuff I read in the rationale male, etc. They think my mindset when it comes to girls and dating is wrong. Completely. (one thing led to another so this became the topic. Please don't think this is a regular discussion or that we are weird.)

I am very insecure about this topic, because of how difficult it feels, or it seems, to me to get better at. So here's a list of the bullet points. I would like an honest assessment here because I don't know what to believe anymore. Please correct me if I am wrong, or have the wrong idea. Visual descriptions and details would help, since well I'm a bit literal sometimes.

ME:
1. Cold approaching is making opportunity where there is none. Cold approaching a girl is acceptable, as long as you are confident about it and don't come off as weird or needy.
PARENTS:
1. Cold approaching is not normal, it comes off as desperate, shows you're too interested, and sometimes creepy. Girls don't like that as it shows the guy is too easy and is way too interested in the girl. If a girl is interested, she will show interest in you. (Then how do average guys get pretty girls? It wasn't because she thought he was cute or anything, that I know for damn sure.)

ME:
2. Dating is a skillset you can get better at.
PARENTS:
2. You shouldn't try to be something you're not, if you aren't good a socializing, accept it and don't think about dating and meeting girls and let it go.

ME:
3. Going to the bar is where you meet people. Where else are you going to meet people if you already struggle to do so? (I generally don't have fun at bars, I go to meet (talk to) girls. Its very hard for me not to think about this when out.)
PARENTS:
3. You go to the bar to have fun and listen to music. Just stand there and observe people. Don't go to the bar alone that looks creepy.


There were are few more points but honestly I forget and don't care. Thing is, I've never really gotten a successful cold approach. I did go home with one girl on Spring Break but I think it was more intimately platonic than just intimate. Funny thing is, all the girls whom I've been with, with I think one exception, or two, was because they approached me. This is out of probably two maybe 3 dozen girls over the course of 2 years that flaked, ignored me, or rejection. So my track record sucks. Thing is, none of the girls that show interest in me are really that attractive. I could wait all day for warm eye contact, thing is, I just don't get it. I think my mentality is flawed but then again I am not sure.
 

Sub-Zero

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Sep 6, 2014
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836
I can’t say if it’s worth it or not, depends on what you want out of women. You don’t have to become some big seducer, you can practice here and there and get ok with women.

But if you want to be able to pass these test and to be able to get more lays, I’d say yes it is worth it.

If you aren’t getting any kind of consistent sex, then yes, it is completely worth it.

I can’t just give up on getting better because what else imma do? Wife up some girl I don’t like like that? Not have any sex partners and be going my own way? Very hard to do, just gotta keep working.

1. Cold approaching will give you a lot of options. I think you’re talking about mostly day game, but anything is a cold approach when you don’t know a girl and approach her. I’m guessing this is day game though because it’s not normal, which I say that it is not normal; doesn’t make it bad though.

It can be freeing to know that you can approach women when u feel like it, good life long skill to have, just have to make yourself into a man women want.

2. Dating is definitely a skillset, no matter what. You see where I am, I only have sex with girls who really want to fuck, I didn’t bother learning skills to get girls, I just stayed with girls who made it easy. You gotta learn how to handle many situations when it comes to girls.

3. I heard bars are the best night time spot for getting girls. Going out alone increases your chances of getting laid.

I hope you really don’t think your parents would give you good advice on dating as a skillset (no offense). If they thought of dating like that, they would have gave you some game when you were younger.
 

nad_bigger

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Feb 15, 2019
Messages
135
absolutly horrible parents bro, I would be more explicit, but they are still your closest relatives
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
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Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,576
Yeah, so it is for your parents to decide how to live your life? Also assuming that you should not approach girls is like assuming like you don't bring any value to girls. Are you this valueless loser? Because that is what people are telling you implicitly.

Let me tell you something man. I am not a super seducer or something but I do consider myself as someone who keeps defying the odds and more especially someone who defies OTHERS framing him as something they want him to be. I have friends resisting the idea that I have succes in various areas in my life in which I have made some serious progress, but after one point they stop resisting. Also with women, same deal, sometimes I hear these lame attempts as put downs, thinly veiled as "jokes', but it is just jealousy nothing else.

Only YOU can decide what you want and you have to accept the psychological battle against other peoples frames. You CANNOT be dominant if you accept the frame which others impose on you, because that means you are submissive. This doesnt mean you should be a sociopath or something ofcourse, be open for some constructive feedback, but live life according to your own vision.
You will notice when you visibly improve in your life others will try to gauge how far you are, because they secretly compete. When you are far beyond them they will suck up and ask you for advice.

Yes game is worth it.

Don't be a pussy
 

AdamEngineer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
40
Thanks for the replies.

All this really is, is a mental conflict of ideas. Nothing I have done actually has really worked, whether I'm forcing myself to do something I am not comfortable with, or I really am coming off as "no value." Problem is, I don't know. My parents think this has become an obsession, I don't know how to objectively answer that either. I don't know whose right: Me through arrogance of my intellectual, or my parents through rationale experience.

Its frustrating because this uncertainty is stopping me from taking action, getting down on myself when I am unsure, and just rely on hope for things to work. I just don't know what to trust.
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
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Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,576
Nothing wrong with an obsession as long as it is not an one-itis lol. You need a healthy drive if you want to achieve something, there is nothing wrong with that. Things dont just work out unless you want mediocre results like everyone else. Just make a decision, either improve or go through the grinder and get crushed by society.

Also start recreating yourself. Buy cooler clothes, train a lot, make yourself generally more attractive.

Stop deliberating, the world meets no one halfway.
 

AdamEngineer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
40
I've been trying to improve. Gonna be having an awesome career soon. Maybe I just need to get to that next step. I'm definitely more of a thinker than a doer. I just want to do what is best for me, and not start practicing and doing things I shouldn't do.
 

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
780
Engineer dude! Only ya can decide if it's worth it and if it matches your view points and beliefs. Ya have the option to sit around and wait for the universe to give you what you deserve, have no control and hope to get lucky. It works for some people...

Or you can be proactive and bring girls into your life. Look to develop socially and understand people's behaviour. Realise the paradigm that ya sitting in and if it matches what you want dude.

Sit around in a bar for an hour and see how many people talk to you. Spend another hour and try and be sociable. See how many more people you meet and how much more fun you'll have.

What's best for you only you can decide but DarkKnight, sub zero, and nad_bigger all hit good points. I want to address all of ya points but your thoughts are on the right track. Your parents don't know, society was different for them and they coasted by and got lucky. Or settled for something... always go after what you want dude!
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
Wait, what's your actual question?

Your parents obviously don't know what they're talking about. Who do you think knows more about getting good with women? Professional coaches who've gamed for a decade+ and have coached thousands of clients, or your parents who by comparison know literally zero on the subject?

Also, keep in mind where they're coming from. They believe in leagues. Like you should only stick to girls in your league. Dating coaches know this is bullshit. Your parents obviously believe the conventional wisdom of moving slow with women. Coaches know this is bullshit. Your parents think dating/socializing is not a skill. Even you know this is bullshit.

When it comes to talking about this stuff, you're largely going to be on your own, besides people you can find online, like on these boards. GC even has an article about this. 99% of people out there know only about conventional wisdom and their own experiences. Virtually nobody sets out to improve their social skills to get better with the opposite sex, in ways that go against conventional wisdom. So when you talk to them about cold approaching, moving quickly, compliance, escalation windows, etc. you might as well save your breath.

I don't know what more you need to see to know if game is worth it. You seem to know it works. You just need to commit to it, practice it, understand that it might take a while to get to the point you want to get to (because you have a shitload to learn to get to that point), and don't care what other people in real life say.
 

AdamEngineer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
40
Thats good advice I appreciate that. I'm not against game, but rather some advice that both my sister and my parent's gave given me doesn't seem to apply for them. My sister would hate being approached by guys, then again, never once said how awsome any of those guys are. So she thinks its weird. My point is I want to be PROACTIVE but not FORCE a situation. There is a fine line being weird and not weird when doing things. Its frustrating because it seems what I have done doesn't work.

She said act more gay. I thought that was the dumbest crap in the world. All that does it make you less threatening, and doesn't do anything positive.

Heres the clincher. She said go out and pretend girls arent there, and let it happen naturally. But if I do that, girls won't approach. Its like I can't make a logical argument on the issue without sounding stupid. Unless my problem is I over emphasize it.

Regardless, I'm going to continue. It sucks that the results I want are taking too long.

I don't really care about socializing too much, unless its it's someone interesting. I can show interest but it may not be genuine interest. I mean you can only meet so many new people. That being said, I still want to sleep with women. Problem is, it seems I'm more interested in that than actually getting to know them. Not that I don't want to, or I'm unable to, it just seems boring and repetitive. Is this a normal feeling?
 

ElderPrice

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Joined
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Messages
568
AdamEngineer said:
Thats good advice I appreciate that. I'm not against game, but rather some advice that both my sister and my parent's gave given me doesn't seem to apply for them. My sister would hate being approached by guys, then again, never once said how awsome any of those guys are. So she thinks its weird. My point is I want to be PROACTIVE but not FORCE a situation. There is a fine line being weird and not weird when doing things. Its frustrating because it seems what I have done doesn't work.

She said act more gay. I thought that was the dumbest crap in the world. All that does it make you less threatening, and doesn't do anything positive.

Heres the clincher. She said go out and pretend girls arent there, and let it happen naturally. But if I do that, girls won't approach. Its like I can't make a logical argument on the issue without sounding stupid. Unless my problem is I over emphasize it.

Regardless, I'm going to continue. It sucks that the results I want are taking too long.

I don't really care about socializing too much, unless its it's someone interesting. I can show interest but it may not be genuine interest. I mean you can only meet so many new people. That being said, I still want to sleep with women. Problem is, it seems I'm more interested in that than actually getting to know them. Not that I don't want to, or I'm unable to, it just seems boring and repetitive. Is this a normal feeling?
You're giving your sister way too much credibility. Just stop listening to her. She doesn't know anything compared to professional coaches. GC has articles on the subject of not listening to what girls SAY. Care about what the DO. Because they are all exactly like your sister. They SAY they hate being approached, but watch them on candid camera being approached by a real cool guy, and they will like it and give them their numbers. Girls will SAY they never have sex on the first date, but then when they actually go out with a cool guy that knows what he's doing, he'll get them in bed on the first date.

Game isn't about what girls say. It's about what they do. And they do indeed ACT a certain way once you become the cool, sexy guy you're capable of becoming. If you're not seeing results, it's because you're simply not there yet. You have a ton of skills left to learn and a tons of things left to experience before you get there.

Regarding what you're doing being bored and repetitive, that's an easy fix. You just need to learn how to have fun at every step of the process. You can probably find some helpful articles or videos on the subject, but it's mostly going to be on you to modify your mindset so every step of the process is fun for you. It's all about learning how to CREATE fun from nothing. It's a skill. If I put you in a room with no electronics for 1 hour, what would you do? If you're not a happy person, you'll freak out and stress out until the hour is complete. If you're a happy person, you'll make the best of the situation. Maybe you'll relax on the floor and take the opportunity of peace and quiet to think about life. Or meditate. Or maybe count the ceiling tiles. Something. Because you've learned how to create fun from nothing.

You must do the same when learning how to get better with girls, or hell, with people in general. You're bored meeting girls and getting to know them? Then ask them some question that WILL interest you. Or joke with them in a way that YOU find fun or amusing. All these people you meet are THEMSELVES bored. Bring some laughter to their lives. Bring some fun emotions to their lives. Do it without wanting anything in return. Then you won't be bored anymore and they will be more warm to you. It's a win-win.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
815
You're parents are trying to set your frames. Have you really given game a shot? Do you have game? No. If you did you wouldn't be asking. Here's a bit on direct and indirect game so you'll better know your targets. When i refer to hot girls and 7+ girls, it basically means any girl that's better looking than you.

The difference between direct game and indirect games is that in direct game you are clear in your intentions to have sex with your target. You make strong statements of intents and escalate more aggressively. With indirect game you want the girl to question if you would have sex with her. Going indirect on less hot girls is useless pointless and a waste of time. It will work on some with very low self esteem and low sex drive. It's girls like that's sex switch. I don't know why. But most cute girls would rather you be direct. You start making her question if you like her and she doesn't want to take the ego hit and blows you off. Indirect is for really hot girls. For some reason these girls cause every go to grow a set. They always say the same thing and it is always direct.

Some girls say “he had the balls to come direct at me.” No it doesn't take balls. I see losers approach the hottest chicks every day. The reason cute girls aren't getting approached all the time is because they're not that hot. Remember that going in. Cute girls aren't getting approached all the time. Go direct. You'll get blown out a lot. But if you're into cute girls you'll also get laid a lot. There are a lot of cute girls going out to get laid or on tinder. You just have to be a guy she considers sex worthy.

The biggest secret in game is the hottest girls are actually the easiest to game. The hard part is getting to them. Any girl who is a seven or better gets hit on constantly with direct game. The get so many compliments every day that they've become meaningless. The hard part is getting into a conversation with one that hooks. You have to find her and somehow get her to be receptive enough to need your validation. But once those two things have occurred you'll have your hooks in. Put yourself in the right situation enough times and the hottest girls are gonna give you chances to game them. When that happens it is all on your game. She's giving you a chance to show her what you've got. She has to care about your validation. If she does she won't leave your side until she gets it. That could take all night.

The longer you have a girl in an interaction with you the more compliance you can build. You need to be having her do things for you. The things she does need to grow progressively bigger. Things you can do are: have her hold your drink, have her buy you a drink, have her follow you to another part of the bar and later to another venue....
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
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Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,641
Location
Southern California
Adam,

I didn't read through this entire thread, but the fact that you tried to rationalize to your parents exactly what you are doing (i.e. going as far as telling them what "cold approach" is and how it's supposed to help you) already set off some red flags for me.

You have to keep in mind that the stuff we teach here is generally socially unacceptable in today's SJW society. And that's not because what you're doing is actually evil/incorrect/faulty/whatever-have-you -- it's that society has been programmed to believe that "learning" about "seduction" and "tactics" and "techniques" is either (a) hogwash or (b) manipulation tactics to get something that you shouldn't have to actually "try" to get through any focused means whatsoever. It should just fall into your lap at some point in time.

But as the thousands of people who visit this website daily will acknowledge with you, women do not just fall in your lap. There is a certain amount of unconscious effort that you -- and even your parents -- have to put into this to reap any type of benefit from it. Anything you want in this world requires some amount of focused effort to get it, and women is not only not an exception to this, they are the prime example of how hard work can reap massive benefits. The guys who are the most successful at learning how to approach, talk to, text, have dates, have sex, and create romantic relationships with the most attractive women out there are capable of doing this because they put a ton of focused effort into it. Just because your parents did not prioritize this focused effort does not mean that you should not do it either (or even that you should). What you choose to prioritize is entirely up to you and you only. You control your own life. Your parents only guide you based on their limited personal experience in this world.

My parents are quite knowledgeable about the world and how it works. I've learned much from them growing up; if it wasn't for my mom, I probably wouldn't have been nearly as successful in my career as I am now. She sat on my ass and forced me to get good grades in school, and simultaneously taught me how to study and be on top of things so that I would be successful as both a student and an employee. And all of that has transferred over quite well to my current life revolving around my career.

...however, my parents were complete failures when it came to teaching me about women. All of their advice is completely contradictory to the advice I ultimately adopted (and even teach) to guys now. I had one or two terrible experiences listening to my parents, and now I no longer talk to them about women at all. And that's simply because I realized their advice and limited experience was completely detrimental to my wants and desires when it came to women. And while that was certainly not the case when it came to my career and my studies, it was absolutely the unfortunate case when it came to women.

So what did I do? I adopted different teachers and different viewpoints when it came to women... based on my own personal experiences and analysis. And ever since I did that, my world revolving around women, sex, and relationships changed massively for the better. I simply realized I had selected the wrong "mentors" when it came to that aspect of my life, so I needed to meditate on the idea that my parents are simply just people -- people with more years of experience than myself, but not necessarily more years of experience in EVERY walk of life and EVERY category. Today, I know more about women than my parents (yes, including my mom) will ever know -- and it's not even close.

Understand the fact that there are certain people in your life who will have great advice for you when it comes to certain aspects of your life. And your parents often are very trustworthy sources of advice simply because they often want what's best for you; and they give you advice based on what they think was best for them when they were your age... which isn't necessarily what's actually best for you. You are the one who needs to decide what is best for you... and when you decide that, you need to only consult the mentors who actually are suitable to those wants, needs, and desires.

Just like you wouldn't go to a massage therapist for technical support to fix your iPad, you shouldn't go to people for advice on something they clearly have diverging views from you about.

Once you are able to free your mind in this world, it simply becomes your oyster.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,

Franco
 

uForia

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
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Messages
70
I really like the point that Franco touched upon that what this forum advocates is generally socially unacceptable. If you really drill that into your head, this means there will be articles written online on why cold approaching is only for desperate losers and douchebags. The conventional wisdom favors society as a whole, not you. Tons of women will be saved the awkward inconvenience of talking to you if you follow mainstream advice. The unattractive people are told to go to meetups that don't have the women they want and continuously relegated further away from the (exclusive) society they want to be in because society as a whole doesn't value them enough to put them there. Society wants these people to just go away and disappear and not pester them again because they don't provide any social value.

That's why you'll browse through Reddit and find threads asking how men can get with hot women downvoted to oblivion and then accused of misogyny, etc. It's repulsive to society to imagine a loser ending up with a hot woman as it's an improper distribution of partners in a society. But you know what gets upvoted, how men can get with women in general. Because it's socially acceptable for everyone to bat in their own leagues, namely this nice guy behind the screen should be paired with a plain easy-to-meet woman. The internet already knows you're a lame nice guy just by the virtue of asking questions like that so they'll give you conventional advice for conventional results. Because this type of advice favors society and not you with your ambitions, it's heavily upvoted in Reddit because society approves it, not you. Now maybe you will learn to lose faith in society in having your best interests at heart.

I work in tech. I have to window dress a lot of what I say when it comes to explaining my decision to move to NYC from a sausagefest tech hub. I tell my coworkers, family, and friends that I came here for the diversity, energy, many things to do here, and even lie that I had many friends from college here. It's not socially acceptable to say that the women there were scarce and unattractive and the women here are abundant and attractive, so I just stick to the usual talking points. I discuss my real reason only with my friends that are affiliated with the seduction communities one way or another. I have another friend in tech who knows exactly what I mean by "cool" people. We never defined "cool" explicitly but what we can say is that software engineers wearing company t-shirts and talking in fob accents is not "cool", neither are the plain Janes. It's our dog whistle for these kinds of things.

More links to consider:
 

AdamEngineer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
40
Thanks for the replies, it helps a lot.

The problem is I don't understand if what I am believing and doing is the RIGHT thing to do. By RIGHT I mean:
1. Not coming off a desperate
2. Not being a creep
3. Trying to hard and being outcome dependent

My parents believe I have put too much focus and effort into this. What is the line between healthy devotion and constant obsession? When I was at college, it was all I thought about, to a point where once I was doing work I wanted to stop and talk to the other girls around me. Except I couldn't. It was like a hopeless feeling, that it felt there was nothing I could do.

There were times things were very frustrating and often I would call my parents and vent about it. Its not something I can just seem to let go and live like most of the other guys I know. They never put emphasis on dating or meeting girls, do make effort, but don't obsess about it.

Bear in mind I've been home and while I've thought about this issue from time to time, it does not make me depressed. I'm totally fine.
What I am getting confused is knowing the right and wrong time to approach. Game will teach you it doesn't matter when, however, social norms do exist and people will think less of you for violating them. For example, Family Guy made a joke about picking up girls outside the abortion clinic XD. That is an extreme case. I have never not succeeded on a warm approach. In fact, I noticed this girl checking me out at a bar I went to in NYC, I had walked by her, she was looking at me briefly and smiling. I looped back to my friends, noticed it again. Then after a few minutes I went to say hi. You don't want to appear desperate, so you play the game. A lot of girls find me attractive, its just seems its never the type I'm in to.

I have never succeeded on a cold approach really, I don't consider proximity opening a cold approach, thats like a room temp one. Its close enough to where it would seem normal but not out of the ordinary.

For rationale guys on here, is Girls Chase stuff overrated? Is there too much information on here and that you only need to learn a few things?
 

AdamEngineer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
40
In response to the Hot vs Cute. Don't cute girls get hit on more often because of the fact they're easier to hit on? Meaning they're more attainable to guys in general? I rarely see guys approach hot girls.
 

AdamEngineer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
40
Franco said:
Adam,

I didn't read through this entire thread, but the fact that you tried to rationalize to your parents exactly what you are doing (i.e. going as far as telling them what "cold approach" is and how it's supposed to help you) already set off some red flags for me.

You have to keep in mind that the stuff we teach here is generally socially unacceptable in today's SJW society. And that's not because what you're doing is actually evil/incorrect/faulty/whatever-have-you -- it's that society has been programmed to believe that "learning" about "seduction" and "tactics" and "techniques" is either (a) hogwash or (b) manipulation tactics to get something that you shouldn't have to actually "try" to get through any focused means whatsoever. It should just fall into your lap at some point in time.

But as the thousands of people who visit this website daily will acknowledge with you, women do not just fall in your lap. There is a certain amount of unconscious effort that you -- and even your parents -- have to put into this to reap any type of benefit from it. Anything you want in this world requires some amount of focused effort to get it, and women is not only not an exception to this, they are the prime example of how hard work can reap massive benefits. The guys who are the most successful at learning how to approach, talk to, text, have dates, have sex, and create romantic relationships with the most attractive women out there are capable of doing this because they put a ton of focused effort into it. Just because your parents did not prioritize this focused effort does not mean that you should not do it either (or even that you should). What you choose to prioritize is entirely up to you and you only. You control your own life. Your parents only guide you based on their limited personal experience in this world.

My parents are quite knowledgeable about the world and how it works. I've learned much from them growing up; if it wasn't for my mom, I probably wouldn't have been nearly as successful in my career as I am now. She sat on my ass and forced me to get good grades in school, and simultaneously taught me how to study and be on top of things so that I would be successful as both a student and an employee. And all of that has transferred over quite well to my current life revolving around my career.

...however, my parents were complete failures when it came to teaching me about women. All of their advice is completely contradictory to the advice I ultimately adopted (and even teach) to guys now. I had one or two terrible experiences listening to my parents, and now I no longer talk to them about women at all. And that's simply because I realized their advice and limited experience was completely detrimental to my wants and desires when it came to women. And while that was certainly not the case when it came to my career and my studies, it was absolutely the unfortunate case when it came to women.

So what did I do? I adopted different teachers and different viewpoints when it came to women... based on my own personal experiences and analysis. And ever since I did that, my world revolving around women, sex, and relationships changed massively for the better. I simply realized I had selected the wrong "mentors" when it came to that aspect of my life, so I needed to meditate on the idea that my parents are simply just people -- people with more years of experience than myself, but not necessarily more years of experience in EVERY walk of life and EVERY category. Today, I know more about women than my parents (yes, including my mom) will ever know -- and it's not even close.

Understand the fact that there are certain people in your life who will have great advice for you when it comes to certain aspects of your life. And your parents often are very trustworthy sources of advice simply because they often want what's best for you; and they give you advice based on what they think was best for them when they were your age... which isn't necessarily what's actually best for you. You are the one who needs to decide what is best for you... and when you decide that, you need to only consult the mentors who actually are suitable to those wants, needs, and desires.

Just like you wouldn't go to a massage therapist for technical support to fix your iPad, you shouldn't go to people for advice on something they clearly have diverging views from you about.

Once you are able to free your mind in this world, it simply becomes your oyster.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,

Franco

Franco, great advice. It seems it is very difficult to agree with my parents. They say things like "We've been there before, we know what its about." Etc. In many cases I think they misunderstand where I am coming from. My female friends, who are type A, actually give good advice and agree with many things here. Example, being dominant, confident, approaching, flirting, teasing, etc. Ironically enough, they really aren't the submissive type, but WILL submit for a guy they like. My parents, my mother especially, thinks I have a PROBLEM and an unhealthy obsession, to the point that she thinks I have been scaring girls away. This is due to my constant venting during college about it and how hard it was and how its easier to meet people if you had lots of friends, etc. Its not that they're wrong, I just don't think we are on the same page. After all, this was something they never really put effort in, and that most people don't, and BECAUSE I am putting in effort, I feel like I am wasting time, even if that effort is just thinking and not doing. Funny thing is, I'm afraid of being weird, and its reinforced due to social anxiety and uncertainty, so it makes it more difficult than usual.

Cheers for the story.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
815
AdamEngineer said:
In response to the Hot vs Cute. Don't cute girls get hit on more often because of the fact they're easier to hit on? Meaning they're more attainable to guys in general? I rarely see guys approach hot girls.

Cute girls that go out to bars get hit on by drunk guys. It's really not that flattering to the woman. Cute girls that don't stay out late almost never get approached. When you're with a really hot girl every time you leave to go to the bathroom, day or night, when you return it's normal for some random dude to be small talking her. Beautiful girls have male strangers talking to them all day.
 
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