when it is time to ask her home?

nad_bigger

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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I'm just afraid of seeming too soft and indecisive. Like what if she doesn't understand that I want to fuck her. What if I lose her by being too slow. Like if I don't invite her home quick she will be bored and go home

someone said to me: If she doesn't fall for your personality, then it was just not meant to be.

That is the tragedy. We liked each other a lot. I have been on 50+ dates, I know when it is a good one. This one was great. I fucking scared her away, man...

In simple terms, when it is time to ask her home? Do I need to crack a sexual joke and get a good reaction? Or I just always ask in about one hour into the date and read the reactions?

I remember we are at home with another girl, and I say: "well this is my room, carefull, might be porn open on my pc" and she said "well, ok, then we will watch it" And thats how I knew we will fuck. And we fucked within 2 minutes.

But on a date in a cafe when is that hook point?
 

Space

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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nad_bigger-

At least you have excellent logistics as you wrote, that is something. I though in your situation the rest would be easier to figure out. :)

OK, to give you something potentially useful on another level: I don't know if you are on a NoFap/cold shower regimen. That might help to bring out the man, the animalistic, but non-creepy man in you. Don't forget the cold shower part as well, as ThePhoenix did. But I have shitty logistics, so what do I know?
 

nad_bigger

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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basically you said: hey, bigger, you have logistics, so fuck you, crybaby, figure it out!))
nojerkingoff just makes me more agressive, and thats way too much aggression
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
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When you are isolated, and at a point where she thinks there is a possibility if she rejects you she will lose you.

Each one is different but you have to be at that point of saying to yourself, "I'm ok with leaving alone" , and mean it.

So many times when she thinks she might lose you, and you give her that one chance, she will commit fully to the moment.

For me a couple times it's been parting and a text immediately after, with her giving me an address (or room number). Plausible deniability right there.

Couple times it was getting my target's friends situated and we were alone...and she asked "where do you live" BOOM.

Main point is you gotta make it No Big Deal. If she can smell your neediness, it's off...

Some won't no matter what. One lately shut it down at the outset, but blew up my phone the next morning wanting to hang out...
 

Seppuku

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nad_bigger said:
Like what if she doesn't understand that I want to fuck her.
There is a little bit of nuance here. There are two levels in every women: (i) the logical / educated part, mostly conscious, and (ii) the emotional / instinctive part, mostly unconscious. (ii) is the part of her you want to understand your desire. If you communicate your desire to (i) alone, you will get ASD and creepiness.

You want to be communicating with her unconscious, instinctive self by means mostly of non verbals. That's why touch is so efficient when done right.

In simple terms, when it is time to ask her home? Do I need to crack a sexual joke and get a good reaction? Or I just always ask in about one hour into the date and read the reactions?
You ask her home when you sense she's very comfortable around you, physically and emotionally.

Some signs to watch for:

  • She starts speaking non stop in a highly excited way. Like she can't stop speaking. (Hint: She's horny).
  • Her hand inside yours has a steady, very subtle caressing motion (Hint: She's horny)
  • There was a very good vibe, good mood, she seems very relaxed with you, but now a silence falls. (Hint: it's time to level up)
  • She's touching you all the time (She's hyper excited)
That's just a few, out of my head. There were the most common ones in my experience.

The way you take her home is also very important. You absolutely need to take care of her Anti Slut Defenses. If it sounds like you take her home for a good fuck, her logical / educated side will step up and tell her "Hey, I'm not a slut!!!", and it will be done. Always have a plausible excuse to take her home (my classical music playlist is my all time favorite...). And always take care of her emotions, she needs to feel good about it at all times!

Seppuku / Pierre
 

nad_bigger

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Seppuku, between this and your other answer I have way too much information and will be waiting for my next date to put it in practice))
Fuck This, "If she can smell your neediness, it's off..." that is a big one, I understand now, I wasn't thinking about a person or our connection, I was thinkin about how much time passed, is she gonna give it to me, some kissing attemts at my place were as awkward as in teen movies.

another question: how important is it to switch places? can we sit on a sofa at a cafe for 2 hours or do we need to go 1 hour cafe 1 hour park?
 

Seppuku

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nad_bigger said:
Seppuku, between this and your other answer I have way too much information and will be waiting for my next date to put it in practice))
Fuck This, "If she can smell your neediness, it's off..." that is a big one, I understand now, I wasn't thinking about a person or our connection, I was thinkin about how much time passed, is she gonna give it to me, some kissing attemts at my place were as awkward as in teen movies.

another question: how important is it to switch places? can we sit on a sofa at a cafe for 2 hours or do we need to go 1 hour cafe 1 hour park?
Yes, I agree about neediness. You should keep your cool.

You do not have to switch places. One good venue, maximum two, is all you need. The most important is to work on her comfort level.

Good luck, and now we want to see your LRs. :)
 

nad_bigger

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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I don't do anything else, so.. Yeah, I will calibrate within two month. Then LRs will start piling up.
 

Space

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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nad_bigger said:
basically you said: hey, bigger, you have logistics, so fuck you, crybaby, figure it out!))
That's not the full picture of course, but yeah: It's definitely a piece of the puzzle. The perspective of quite a few guys.

Space said:
At least you have excellent logistics as you wrote, that is something. I though in your situation the rest would be easier to figure out. :)
Did you check out the linked Reddit posts? Something to ponder.

nad_bigger said:
nojerkingoff just makes me more agressive, and thats way too much aggression
You seem to forgot about the cold shower part too, similarly to ThePhoenix.
 

Space

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Space said:
Some general advice to come into my mind to you, based on your many topics. You said you consume much information. How much do you learn from older guys? Let's say from guys older than you by at lest 10 years? Yes, Chase technically is older than you by about that much, but many of his influential articles on this site are almost a decade old.

You may enjoy this video as much as I did: The ORIGINS of SEDUCTION (with James Marshall, Sasha Daygame, John Keegan). Three older guys discuss - and demonstrate - daygame in NYC. Even though the style they demonstrate isn't exactly my style. But they have some interesting nuggets of wisdom to share. I know you aren't the biggest fan of American girls. NYC is said to have the best of the best, though. From all over the world. The predecessor of this video is interesting, too.
So yeah, there is definitely something to learn from older guys. But now I switch sides and I say there is definitely something to learn from younger guys, too. Someone younger than you.

nad_bigger said:
basically you said: hey, bigger, you have logistics, so fuck you, crybaby, figure it out!))
To give you (and myself) more pointers, I've really enjoyed this interview with Chris of Social Prime by JMULV. In fact, I've laughed my ass off watching it. It's a little long winded, but just start watching it and if you find it valuable, watch some more! I'm not saying you are full of bullshit, but speaking for myself, if helped cutting through lots of bullshit in my head. In my situation logistics = usually her place, no big deal. The interviewer, JMULV, according to Reddit, has slept with 1000 girls. Which means, according to Reddit, that he is a complete sociopath. But the interview is about Chris of Social Prime.
 
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