I tried so hard And got so far But in the end I was waaay too pushy

nad_bigger

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 15, 2019
Messages
135
193 cm tall, 100 kg, writing this at 23:22 23.04.2019.

Well, fuck me.

So, at this point I can get 1-2 dates with hot girls that I really like once a week every week, but there is a problem.
I kinda have an idea on how to escalate, but I just understood that I am way too much on the pushy side, and that's how I lost so many girls.

So what happens is - we sit on a sofa at mcdonalds, we talk for an hour-hour an a half about her wishes and
dreams, I touch her incidentally, I make implicit sexual suggestions and then invite home to listen to some music I made.

This sunday girl said in a shy way: "lets just sit here for a while". She kinda looks like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB01rSkSS94 but even cuter and with more charisma.
I asked again in about 15 minutes in a inconsiderate pushy way: Come on! just for 15 minutes.
She complied, but became somewhat closed off, and halfway there said:
"Oh shiiet, boy, client tried to contact me, let me call him back. Hey, yeah wassup, oh, oh, you mean right now?

Oh... okay"
turns to me and says: "Well, client pushed appointment from 7pm to 5pm, so no time for music sorry".
And I walked her home, her building is literally next to mine, and that was it.
She said: "well it was nice to meet you"
"So, next tuesday then?"
"well... lets text each other, bye, pushy-ass stupid fucking bitch, who keeps getting dates with hot fucking girls and loses them at a snap of a finger, enjoy bluest balls in Omsk, cuntface"

Now I kinda understand that we should have gone for a walk to change scenery after mcdonalds and then after about half an hour I would have invited her home again.
What should've I done?

1. She let me touch her hair and basically rest my arm on her thigh
2. She was red shy when I brought up some sexual topics
3. She was unnerved when I invited her home
4. She probably faked that call.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
Yeah you were not calibrated and she wasn't into it.

I wouldn't go for the pull in that situation until she was reciprocating and initiating Kino.

Of all things a woman has to be relaxed anrd fully trusting to go home with you or invite you in.
.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Hey nad,

What I think happened in your case is, you triggered her ASD with the sexual topics, then tried to pull her home when she was not yet comfortable with you.

Also, Fuck This has a point. Just touching her is not enough, it is good to see some reciprocation. At each step you need to gauge her interest level. Gather all the clues that she is comfortable, before stepping up. Example:

  • You touch her "incidentally" at the beginning. How does it feel? Was your touch well received? Step back a little. Is she trying to "incidentally" touch you back? Yes: then step up your touching a little. No: continue to make her comfortable, make her talk more. Withdraw touch for some time. Then try again.
  • Now you touch her a little bit more deliberately. Fix her hair. Have a lingering finger on her cheek. Touch her shoulder, or the back of her forearm. Etc... How does it feel? Was it well received? Any negative body language? No: continue to make her comfortable, make her talk. Withdraw touch for some time. Then try again. Yes: step up.
  • Now you take her hand in yours as she speaks. You play with her hair. Or your hand resting on her leg. Etc... Does her hand feel comfortable in yours, or does it feel like she's withdrawing? Etc...
Step by step, assessing her level of comfort at each step, increasing progressively, becoming more and more daring. At each step, make sure she's comfortable before stepping up. Else, you make a step back, wait, then try again.

Positioning: Make sure you are side by side, rather than facing each others. It makes things much easier.

Sexual topics. This is advanced stuff in my opinion. You have the potential of creeping her out, and trigger her Anti Slut Defenses. Which may actually have happened here! The goal is to make her horny, but obviously that didn't work here (or else she would have come with you).

Until you become better at pulling home, I would leave this part out. If you have some sexual innuendo coming up to your mind, or some very light sexual humor or remark, go ahead. But otherwise don't sweat it too much, because it can fire back.

Touching, done right, can already make her very horny. Try improving the touching instead!

Pulling home. It works much better if you managed to make her feel comfortable / horny. Alternatively, you can also assume the sale has already happened. Try that: You end up the date, handle the bill (maybe split it with her). "Let's go!" Then you both leave. You take her hand in yours, then start leading towards your home. "Where are we going?" "We're going to listen to some music". Keep leading. "Where is that?" "It's in my home. Now, come on, we're almost there". You can ease it further, by starting being very talkative. You tell her a story, whatever, to keep her mind busy while leading to your home. Any resistance? You go like "it's ok, we'll stay five minutes, and if you don't like it you can leave". Etc... See the difference? At no point did you actually asked her to come home! You just assumed she was ok with it.

Seppuku / Pierre
 

nad_bigger

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 15, 2019
Messages
135
Fuck, what a good answer. Exactly what I needed.

Basically what happend later was, I left her a whatsapp voice message: "girl, you are so kind and good and nurturing, that is what i really like about you (she works with kids), so I am going to moscow, I will free on friday, what about you?"

She responded with a voice message with a good tone: "Well I just finished work, this week is crasy, I am not sure what will happen on friday, so, year, give me a call when you are back"

I wrote
Ok)
Nice shirt on your avatar, looks like mine (she had an oversized man's shirt on whatsapp profile pic, very sexy)

aaaand she blocked me
 
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