- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
- Messages
- 40
I am not sure if I have the right mindset when it comes to this.
I am not sure if I am needy or not and it comes down to these reasons:
1. I am shy by nature. I think I am not upset that I am single, but more upset I feel I can't overcome my shyness to make something happen.
2. I fear rejection not for the rejection as much as losing the effort and the courage it took to make a move in the first place.
3. Sometimes I have no problem depending on the setting (large bar crowds in open environments vs college bar scene) because I feel everyone notices, and I look like a player.
4. I get down on myself when I see attractive women with boyfriends. I don't understand how to naturally meet women in my daily life as I am mostly studying or the things I do enjoy doing don't put me in a natural environment to socialize (ie frat, athlete party, etc.) I don't understand how meeting women for these guys is different than any other guy. I don't see them picking up women and approaching.
5. When I do get the chance I can't build attraction at all. Even if I am cool. I think too much and its hard to let loose. I think I show too much excitement when a pretty girl talks to me, if that ever happens.
6. I'm forced to cold approach, but I hesitate to do so as no one else has to do this, they just end up getting lucky or something. I get girls numbers no problem but it never leads to anything, or very short one sided conversations. I get not investment. I think I have what it takes but damn I need some reassurance or something.
I am a very good looking guy (I get told all the time you'd be surprised), I invest in myself by lifting weights, studying to be an engineer (I'm super stressed until graduation) and putting going out and other hobbies on hold. I have value, it just seems that no one else sees it. I also have no close friends since I'm a 5th year.
I know I'm capable of being with attractive women, but my mindset that I may not be good enough is holding me back. How can I overcome this? It seems my effort is futile and at 23 years old, I've been with 8 girls (5-7) range. Probably 30 plus make-outs, but only 2 one month long relationships 6 years apart. Even my parents are surprised I struggle with this.
I am not sure if I am needy or not and it comes down to these reasons:
1. I am shy by nature. I think I am not upset that I am single, but more upset I feel I can't overcome my shyness to make something happen.
2. I fear rejection not for the rejection as much as losing the effort and the courage it took to make a move in the first place.
3. Sometimes I have no problem depending on the setting (large bar crowds in open environments vs college bar scene) because I feel everyone notices, and I look like a player.
4. I get down on myself when I see attractive women with boyfriends. I don't understand how to naturally meet women in my daily life as I am mostly studying or the things I do enjoy doing don't put me in a natural environment to socialize (ie frat, athlete party, etc.) I don't understand how meeting women for these guys is different than any other guy. I don't see them picking up women and approaching.
5. When I do get the chance I can't build attraction at all. Even if I am cool. I think too much and its hard to let loose. I think I show too much excitement when a pretty girl talks to me, if that ever happens.
6. I'm forced to cold approach, but I hesitate to do so as no one else has to do this, they just end up getting lucky or something. I get girls numbers no problem but it never leads to anything, or very short one sided conversations. I get not investment. I think I have what it takes but damn I need some reassurance or something.
I am a very good looking guy (I get told all the time you'd be surprised), I invest in myself by lifting weights, studying to be an engineer (I'm super stressed until graduation) and putting going out and other hobbies on hold. I have value, it just seems that no one else sees it. I also have no close friends since I'm a 5th year.
I know I'm capable of being with attractive women, but my mindset that I may not be good enough is holding me back. How can I overcome this? It seems my effort is futile and at 23 years old, I've been with 8 girls (5-7) range. Probably 30 plus make-outs, but only 2 one month long relationships 6 years apart. Even my parents are surprised I struggle with this.