Quality difference between online dating and cold approach, that big?

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
3,225
I am starting to wonder as someone who has seen a great deal of success on online dating websites if the quality of difference is that big between the two.

If you take a high quality flattering photo of yourself, you're clearly more attractive in that than in everyday life right?

People will say "game" and other things come into account but I have always seen them as closing the deal than actually getting a girl who would not normally be attracted to you attracted to you. Only exception is social circle game but that is not a reality for most dudes.

Wanted your thoughts.
 

Michal

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 5, 2013
Messages
278
I noticed some difference as well. I find the difference similar to getting horny when looking at porn and when a girl strips down in front of you and bends over.
My argument for day game - when you stroll down the street, you see the girls in flesh and there is another element to it which can trigger more attraction - body language. She just walks this certain way or her great ass swings in front of you like a pendulum.
Online, you have the perfect photos with perfect poses showing all the curves. But it is just that, a constructed image.
Lately, as I stopped tindering, I think girls outside are better looking on average. Online, yes, you have the hot girls who know how to present themselves, but the most captivating babes I have ever met were outside. Some of those did not even use instagram that much. Only as their personal photo album. But that is my experience.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
Same difference in watching an edited highlight reel vs. an entire game. Online Highlights the most attractive moment, lighting and mood. out of Context really. In person that is part of the overall appearance and mood they project.

Online has a tendency to build a preconceived idealism, that can override your first in person impression unless the difference is too great.
But if your initial in person first meeting goes well and starts off on the right foot, the momentum is greater...
 

rockstar

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
73
In general, in order of level of attractiveness you'll be able to find/get:
1. Social Circle
2. Daygame
3. Nightgame
4. Online

This is based on what I've heard from others, not my experience. I'm a beginner and almost all of my lays so far have been from social circle. Obviously it also depend on which types of game you're good at.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
In my experience, HUGE. Night and day. I'm actually pissed at myself for wasting a year of my life solely trying online apps instead of going out and meeting girls in person.

On three occasions I asked photographer friends to take photos of me in an attempt to get good photos. Despite having photos that anyone would say look like good, quality photos, they just were junk for online dating. My best photos only got 7/10 attractiveness on photofeeler. As a result, the girls that I got dates with from online were not attractive. All were overweight to some degree. Didn't matter what I wrote in my bio. I tried it all. You're just wasting your time if you don't have perfect photos.

As soon as I started asking girls out in-person, the results changed instantly. Now I was getting dates with girls who I couldn't even match with online or on apps. It was fun to go on a string of 'best evers,' as in One week: Wow that was the most attractive girl I've ever been on a date with..... One month later: Wow that was the most attractive girl I've ever been on a date with.... One month later: Wow that was the biggest pair of tits I've ever been on a date with..... etc etc. Not joking, not ONE of these girls would even glance at my dating profiles. But in person they give me their numbers and agree to dates.

Night and day difference. I'd advise everyone I know to ditch online and learn cold approach.
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,465
Location
NYC
ElderPrice said:
As soon as I started asking girls out in-person, the results changed instantly. Now I was getting dates with girls who I couldn't even match with online or on apps. It was fun to go on a string of 'best evers,' as in One week: Wow that was the most attractive girl I've ever been on a date with..... One month later: Wow that was the most attractive girl I've ever been on a date with.... One month later: Wow that was the biggest pair of tits I've ever been on a date with..... etc etc. Not joking, not ONE of these girls would even glance at my dating profiles. But in person they give me their numbers and agree to dates.

This!

You guys have to understand that when it comes to online and especially when it comes to Tinder these days - while there are exceptions to this rule, as with everything else - by and large, girls who are 6-8's use Tinder to hook up with guys who are 9's and 10's. On top of that, the matches get swayed a lot by a girl's preferences or curiosity (if you happen to have a solid profile) - whereas in person, it's swayed by your boldness, vibe, and her desire - all of which you have complete control over.

That said, I have also seen guys use Tinder and Apps to get hot girls, just not as much. The best guy I've ever seen on Tinder was a male model friend of mine in NYC whom I'm not friends with anymore - but the last time I saw him, this 22 year old blond haired blue eyed very attractive guy showed me his Tinder which had, I kid you not, about 10,000 matches. And he said he had not touched the app in 3-4 months, because he had been way too busy meeting girls in person and banging his 9's and 10's by meeting them in day game, night game, and social circle.
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
3,225
rockstar said:
In general, in order of level of attractiveness you'll be able to find/get:
1. Social Circle
2. Daygame
3. Nightgame
4. Online

This is based on what I've heard from others, not my experience. I'm a beginner and almost all of my lays so far have been from social circle. Obviously it also depend on which types of game you're good at.

I think online beats nightgame in terms of getting higher quality as a guy. Most nightgame you can barely hear anything when talking to girls IMO.
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,641
Location
Southern California
1. Social Circle
2. Daygame
3. Nightgame
4. Online

Just to note: it's really not this clear-cut at all. Technically, you can get the highest quality girls from any of those methods -- the difference is mainly effort (which is inversely proportional to "skill level of using that method").

I'd say "online game" is probably the most difficult to get the highest quality girls simply because you have to put in a ton of effort to do so if you're using any type of normal dating app or website (and that's even if you're good looking and have a good profile). As an aside to this, an attractive girl from the Tinder subreddit used a spreadsheet to track all of her swipes and show her results in a nice format. That link is here for those of you that want to view it:


That being said, it can be really easy to lay a super hot, high quality chick using "online sugar daddy game" via websites like Seeking (formerly known as SeekingArrangement). If you have plenty of money to spend, that becomes exponentially easier. (NOTE: You still will need a high degree of online dating experience to create a good profile, although if you've done so in the past, this should carry over well).

Social circle is the most interesting one as the quality you can achieve from it is totally dependent on your ability to expand your social circle into groups of girls that are very attractive. If you're good at doing this, you'll have solid options. But if your social circle is full of average girls, then you'll have zero options.

Social circle "game" also tends to lose its effectiveness beyond age 35 since most women are married by that point, and the closer you get to 40 (and beyond 40), the more unlikely that young, attractive girls in their 20s and early 30s will be available to you -- at least in the context of "social circle" anyway. So it essentially has a stopping point.

For the above-mentioned reasons, I highly recommend that guys get good at at least one of the two types of cold approach methods: day game or night game. Day game is essentially good throughout your entire lifetime, so that probably gets the edge over night game. That being said, night game can work very well into your 30s if you stay on top of your fundamentals, so it's a solid choice (and both methods give you "unlimited" options in women, unlike social circle game).

The relationship between quality and method is an interesting one because it also must take into account effort (how much time you put into it) and skill level (how good you are at it). Both of these can greatly effect how often an individual gets higher quality from a given method.

Just some food for thought!

- Franco
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
3,225
Nice to see light being shed on social circle game although I do feel like if you go into certain industries, it can still be good at an older age, main ones being modeling (photographer or agent) or nightlife. I'd argue that of all the types of methods, social circle is probably the most difficult. I don't mean tough to get hot girls from but tough to actually get going. For the most part, it is down to the people you grew up with and what you did in college, after that you have to kind of get lucky to some degree and hopefully make a good friend or two in order to make it happen. One method I endorse that has worked for me per my lay last night (LR going up soon) is to simply have a good relationship with your one night stands and fuckbuddies, if they are open enough, they introduce you to their friends and you get laid through that.

I'll still say, it is the toughest method to get going because so much of it is really down to luck and circumstances than your own doing.

Online dating is easier than people would make it seem like, to date I have had about 100 or so matches on Hinge, 150 on Bumble and over 200 on Tinder. This is on accounts I created less than a year ago and I swipe selectively. I have taken quality photos and written in-depth about how to make these apps work for you so that is a guide for itself. A great deal of my success has come through online dating in recent months and I think in the future, this is where we are heading. Guys who do not have a good online presence are going to be fucked by the game because we are effectively moving toward the social media age even more, in most industries you cannot get a job without having LinkedIn.

Daygame is the toughest and most awkward to actually do but a lot more doable than night game which is easier to do per the alcohol. You do need a lot of courage and it will test your approach anxiety. Chase has a great post on it and I do believe it can lead to some quality opportunities if you have good fundamentals. No matter how many times I try it though, I probably get the most anxiety from it. Not the easiest thing to master by any means.

Night game in my opinion and experience is largely a waste of time. The reason I say that is because most of the hottest girls or even above average looking girls head out in pairs or groups, you have to deal with cockblocking to the max. At a lot of the nightclubs, it is too loud for you to even talk and show off your fundamentals other than looking good and dancing well. I'd say for quality and in terms of difficulty, night game is probably the worst unless you are gaming outside of bars or in lounges where people can actually hear you. I hate yelling over people just to talk to the girl. Plus as Chase mentioned, girls have their guards up more often.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
rockstar said:
In general, in order of level of attractiveness you'll be able to find/get:
1. Social Circle
2. Daygame
3. Nightgame
4. Online

This is based on what I've heard from others, not my experience. I'm a beginner and almost all of my lays so far have been from social circle. Obviously it also depend on which types of game you're good at.


Ironically, The relationship potential of each of these methods is the same order....Best to worst.
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,641
Location
Southern California
Oh Pry said:
I'd argue that of all the types of methods, social circle is probably the most difficult. I don't mean tough to get hot girls from but tough to actually get going.

Yes, this is probably a true statement.

Oh Pry said:
For the most part, it is down to the people you grew up with and what you did in college, after that you have to kind of get lucky to some degree and hopefully make a good friend or two in order to make it happen.

...

I'll still say, it is the toughest method to get going because so much of it is really down to luck and circumstances than your own doing.

No; you have a large degree of control over this. Some of my friends who do extremely well in social circle game simply go out and meet people at social events, and they are extremely extroverted and make friends easily with the right people.

So yes, it is difficult to do this because you have to be the "right" type of guy, or train yourself to become that type of guy. But the fact that you can even "become" that type of guy removes most of the elements of "luck" and moves them over to the category of "effort and ability," just like cold approach or online game.

Oh Pry said:
Guys who do not have a good online presence are going to be fucked by the game because we are effectively moving toward the social media age even more, in most industries you cannot get a job without having LinkedIn.

I don't think this is the case either. I have mostly removed my online presence (I don't use Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat anymore) and still have had very few issues getting laid. I think the average guy with no researched knowledge about women (i.e. GirlsChase, Red Pill, etc.) will definitely struggle more after college without some "online game" skills, but that's mostly because they don't even see cold approach as a real thing, or an option. Nor do they know how to endlessly extend their social circle properly (which is something that can also be done with effort and knowledge).

Oh Pry said:
Daygame is the toughest and most awkward to actually do but a lot more doable than night game which is easier to do per the alcohol. You do need a lot of courage and it will test your approach anxiety. Chase has a great post on it and I do believe it can lead to some quality opportunities if you have good fundamentals. No matter how many times I try it though, I probably get the most anxiety from it. Not the easiest thing to master by any means.

I do agree that day game is the most difficult type of "game." It's the only type of game that I don't do, and it indeed simply comes down to approach anxiety first and foremost. I often have the most admiration for the guys who are capable of meeting attractive women through this means (and this includes both Hector and Varoon who are now friends of mine in real life).

Oh Pry said:
Night game in my opinion and experience is largely a waste of time. The reason I say that is because most of the hottest girls or even above average looking girls head out in pairs or groups, you have to deal with cockblocking to the max.

I met my current girlfriend of nearly six years through night game, and I have had countless lays with other attractive women through it. It is very far away from being a waste of time!

Also, just like any other form of "game," there are methods and tactics you can use to avoid the obstacles you mention. When I met my girlfriend, she had just arrived with two of her friends. I approached her when she left them to go order a drink at the bar by herself, and she ended up spending the next 30 minutes or so with me before going back to her friends.

That was not random luck. I was purposely positioned at the bar to approach girls who break off from their friend groups so that I could avoid the cockblocking.

Oh Pry said:
At a lot of the nightclubs, it is too loud for you to even talk and show off your fundamentals other than looking good and dancing well.

Not at all. I actually stopped doing "dancing" game once I discovered GC because I found it to be MUCH better to approach girls at the bar or in the smoking areas. Some of my best lays from night game have come from completely avoiding the dance floor area for the entire night. And this was all planned "tactics;" it was not random luck.

Likewise, there are "methods" and "tactics" for dealing with the noise. I pull girls closely into me by putting my hand around their waist and then talk directly into their ears, often getting as close as possible and grazing their ears with my mouth to create a sense of sexual tension, which essentially gives the girl a "green light" to talk directly into my ear by touching HER mouth to MY ear. I've done this numerous times, so this was also not "luck."

Oh Pry said:
I'd say for quality and in terms of difficulty, night game is probably the worst unless you are gaming outside of bars or in lounges where people can actually hear you. I hate yelling over people just to talk to the girl.

My girlfriend is roughly a 9.5 in terms of looks, and I met her in a very noisy nightclub at the bar that was located directly in front of the dance floor and close to the DJ.

Keep in mind that just because your experience with something has been negative does not mean that everyone's experience with it should also be negative. People in both sports and eSports have this same mentality: I've tried doing this thing and had a bad experience, so it means it doesn't work or is no good. And then you find the pro players using that exact same technique/method or that exact same hero/champion (in the case of eSports) and decimating the opposition at a "pro" level. That's when you realize it wasn't the method that was bad, it was simply your use of the method that did not get good results because of poor execution.

As a summary, it's good to test things on your own to come to your own conclusions about certain methodologies and ways of taking action that improve your life. But always keep in mind that just because it didn't work for you doesn't mean it didn't work for someone else. Always keep your eyes peeled for guys who are doing exactly what you said couldn't be done -- that's how you keep your mind open and your options strong.

Cheers,

Franco
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
3,225
So I re-read what Franco has said and I do agree with a lot of it, my only objection is that no door should really be closed here. I feel like the way modern businesses run is the way guys should run their dating lives. One of my friends is in sales and there is a mantra going around saying that cold calling is dead, many people will say social selling is the way to go. Once you really get down to it though, cold calling is not dead and cold calling does work, the way it works has changed now but there is still opportunity to be found through it. At the same time any sales organization that relies on just that and not emails, social, and references is going to be fucked. The way my friend put it is that you cannot rely on just one tool for success, you have to rely on them all to have your success.

I think ideally guys should find the one they are good at but still get decent enough at other ways too. Right now I am trying to get better at daygame so that has been a struggle.
 
Top
>