3rd date strategy when she came over but you didn't sleep with her on the 2nd.

Hey guys. As a disclaimer, this happened weeks ago and I stopped messaging her after the second date (and she unmatched me on tinder like two days ago) so there is now no chance of a third, but I think this might have been a mistake and I gave up too soon. So now I want to know what I should have done instead...

I matched with this girl on tinder around the middle of last year, and we went on a date. That was before I discovered this site - so while it went alright, I didn't physically escalate and there was no kiss at the end (besides on the cheek, ugh). Needless to say, there wasn't a second date - she stopped responding to my texts.

At the start of this year I matched with her again (I live in a small town of 90,000 - I'm working on getting out of here) and we decided to give it another shot since she seemed to regret not responding to me last time. We met up for lunch, and I made it clear that since I was planning on leaving the town I wasn't after anything serious (she's a couple of years older and looking to settle down). She seemed cool with this and wanted to keep hanging out, saying that she'd settle down with the next person she dated. After lunch we went for a walk around the lake - I was struggling to find a way to physically escalate until we were lying down on the grass, but then I got a stroke of inspiration when I saw another couple holding hands and used that to steer the conversation towards PDAs. I asked her what she would do if I kissed her then and there, and when she said she wasn't sure I leaned in and kissed her quickly. She initially resisted but stopped after a while and seemed to enjoy it - and afterwards she started touching me a lot more. The date ended after that, but I invited her to my place for dinner and netflix a week later (would have done sooner but my schedule was full) and she agreed.

The next week when she was over, we went out and brought takeaway back to my place and started watching a show. I gradually started leaning in and touching her but she wasn't reciprocating. She didn't move so I'm sure she was enjoying it, but I wasn't getting anything back. When the show was over I gradually got closer and started kissing her, until I was on top of her on the couch. Again, she seemed to enjoy it, but seemed a bit startled, commenting that I went from "0 to 100" since it was quite sudden from the moment I first kissed her to when I was on top of her. I backed off and we went back to watching another show. This time, we were spooning, and while the show was on I started kissing her upper back and got to her ear when she gave me a weird look, said "what are you doing" and got up so that we weren't spooning anymore, which annoyed me. She still stayed until the end of the show.

At the end, she said it was late and she had to go. She gave me another kiss on the way out and left. After texting her to find out if she got home in one piece (she joked about herself being a bad driver) she responded:

Haha I did! Thanks for a lovely chill night just what I wanted

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I sent another text saying it was fun and we should do it again but I never followed through. I think it's because I was still annoyed at her response when I tried escalating for the second time and also because I felt like she was just trying to use me to fulfill a proxy boyfriend role. But now, I'm regretting giving up since she was beautiful and I would have liked to sleep with her.

The question is, what should I have done for a third date? Should I have invited her over to mine again and tried to sleep with her again? Should I have gone out somewhere else and tried turning her on enough to get her back to mine (this would have been tough)? I didn't want to drag this out to multiple dates but it seemed like she would have been perfectly fine with that, seeing as she didn't show much affection at all and seemed to be a lot more conservative.

Apologies for the wall of text, but I really am at a loss as to how I should have approached this!

Re: 3rd date strategy when she came over but you didn't sleep with her on the 2n

Anyone?

Re: 3rd date strategy when she came over but you didn't sleep with her on the 2n

So if I'm following, the netflix date was your third date? If so, you didn't do anything wrong. You always want to bring her home as quickly as reasonably possible. Which you did. It just sounds like you may have escalated weirdly combined with her throwing in some LMR.

She agreed to come over to your place which generally means she was down to go all the way. It sounds like she didn't freak out or anything when you started escalating which is a good sign lol. So you probably just need to work on being smoother with escalating and dealing with token LMR. Just my two cents.

Re: 3rd date strategy when she came over but you didn't sleep with her on the 2n

Pace your escalating so she is always wanting more.....Lots of Eye contact to build tension, then a quick passionate kiss in the stairwell or elevator, then on to the next place. Pull back a little...make her wonder if she is going to lose you...let her initiate some kino, and reward with more physical affection. The old Push-Pull. If you are constantly pushing to increase the intimacy, she doesn't have to do the work. Let her help to stoke the fire. Just feed her fuel slowly ...at the right time...

I think you are out she's not looking for a booty call. All my post first date bangs were initiating contact after asking "When can we hang out again?"

Re: 3rd date strategy when she came over but you didn't sleep with her on the 2n

EP, technically it was the third date but I don't really count the one we went on last year since it was so long ago. I agree that the escalation was weird at the time, but I'm wondering what I should have done afterwards to save the situation. Based on what I've read on this site though, recovering from the situation when you failed to make it past LMR would have been difficult.

FT, good points. I guess even though the dates went well I probably didn't establish much sexual tension and most of my escalations instead came out of the blue which probably startled her (like the spontaneous kiss at the lake, but that one worked and turns out it was one of the more advanced techniques from this article, as I later found out: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how- ... kissed-her). For the second date, it was harder to move around but I did move her when she came over, then we both went out to get food and come back. Probably could have built some more tension during that time.