Why is a direct approach so ineffective for me?

It appears every time I approached girls my age and open directly with a general compliment of her appearance like “I thought you were cute, and wanted to meet you,” it goes down in flames. I don’t know if it’s jut unlucky and the girls I approach this way are the girls that just so happen to be un attracted to me from the start or if I’m doing something wrong; whether that be facial expression or tone of voice or whatever. I am fairly certain my fundamentals are quite solid at the moment. Maybe even the best they’ve ever been. However, perhaps I’ve lost touch of the most basic aspects....

Anyway, the theory I most believe to be true arose from a Quora post I read from a dating coach. His explanation of why direct game was the best was similar to that of girlschase’s. In his explanation he says that the girls who do not like your drect style of game arenas your type and you are lucky to screen them out. However, he explains that the reason the type of girls who prefer an indirect style of game are immature and need someone to play games to satisfy their desire for a complex relationship full of mind games, in contrasts to those who are more mature and are tired of relationships being stressful and just want something easy and fun. He also explains the concept of how those who prefer indirect game and are immature crave the stressful relationship due to the addictive ups and downs.

The reason this would apply to the girls I approach more often then not is because they are all around the 14-18 age range (bc I’m 16)

I was wondering if this could be the reason and I should focus momentarily more on the indirect aspects of game, or if there is more likely a problem with my approach in general. I believe this theory to be correct because I’m considered very attractive in my school, and have had some success with more indirect game. But next to never with direct opener.

First off, you write pretty damn well for a 16 year old!

As for your question (and I'm a noob so take my two cents with a grain of salt), direct approach I always thought was more for the strangers you meet out and about that you presumably will never see again. If you're gaming all these girls at the school you go to, I imagine that changes things. Odds are you'll see the girls again, odds are there are some big social circles at school so these girls will talk to each other, odds are you may already be known with some sort of reputation attached to you, etc. Direct openers are also powerful and to the point, which might be too strong for this age group.

Sort of just thinking out loud.

Hey ElderPrice,

Thanks for the compliment ( I wrote this up really fast and didn’t read it before posting so I thought my orginization would be out of wack lol)

But to get to the point, in this post I was only referring to “approach” as talking to strangers you see throughout your day. I did mention my school only as evidence of why I think this theory is logical and to prove my fundemantels are likely not the source of the issue (not saying thy aren’t though) But yea, I was only referring to cold approaching.

Thanks for ur two cents though!

Cheers,
Young

Start_ed_young said:

It appears every time I approached girls my age and open directly with a general compliment of her appearance like “I thought you were cute, and wanted to meet you,” it goes down in flames.

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My totally uninformed opinion comes as I'm not the expert here, I'm a rookie. When I approach directly I say something like this: "You looked interesting so I thought I should introduce myself to you." instead of what you said: "You look cute." Again, I'm not the expert here, the latter sounds like you see her as a piece of flash, the former implies you might be, just might be interested in her as a person. Chase or one of the other authors wrote somewhere that in some way you should, or you are objectifying a woman anyways, so I don't know. Just my uninformed opinion. I've learned this from 60 Years of Challenge.

You should always calibrate between direct and indirect to her, you, the situation, and your culture. Speaking of indirect, most of the little stuff I know comes from subscribing to the 10-email mini course on roosh.com. I share this outside resource in a good faith and to be honest, to nudge Girls Chase management a bit, as they yet have to come up with such an easily accessible (and actionable) resource you can easily access from your mobile device, is not a PDF and does not require a laptop computer and a constant Internet connection.

So there you have it. Now you have resources for both direct and indirect. It's your turn to experiment with mixing and matching them.

Start_ed_young said:

it goes down in flames.

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hi

can you explain how it goes down in flames?

Hey fog,

(DISCLAIMER) can probably skip the dialogues if you want, but thought I’d include all details. I summarize what I mean by go down in flames more clearly at the very end. And including an example where it Andrew well may have been pointless, especially because I don’t even know if it was direct.

Good question (at first I thought you were being a smart ass then I realized that’s probably actually relavent information lol)

I’ll give an example from both extremes, the best a direct approach has ever gone for me and the worst it has ever gone for me. Perhaps also another random example that falls somewhere in the middle. I’ll begin with the best...

The best a direct opener has ever gone for me was at a highschool softball game. I would always go and watch with 1 or 2 of my bros because some bad bitches we were friends with were on the team and always wanted us to watch. I was fairly new to cold approaching at the time, but I had done some of my rookie work. My friends and I would always figure out who the most atractive girl from the opposite team was and have the guy with the biggest balls approach her (literally me everytime) (sidenote: i believe I approached three times from this, this being the third, and the previous 2 being very indirect game) so te game ended and I was with my friends outside the dugout entrance. We were talking and then suddenly she walks out, “HEY, double 00 played well out there” she was with her friend.
Her: haha Thx
Me: I actually thought u were pretty cute and wanted to see if you were cool
Her friend: well your confident I’ll give you that...
Her: laughs
Me: now as much as I like calling you double zero, what’s ur real name?
Her: Jersey
Me: Ohhhhhh okayyyyyy, ( I said with an “oh well what the hell” tone bc I thought she told me a fake name bc I only saw her jersey while she was playing or something? I honestly don’t know)
Her: no really

We bantered a short bit longer like maybe another minute and she gave me her number after I told her she should give it to me. And supposedly she would have went out with me if my text game wasn’t shit at the time according to (I think hector) and lastly I believe this was like on of my first like 10 approaches could be wrong, also the first approach where I ever went more direct. Even in this one tho I feel like I built of to the compliment more.

Next, the one of the worst results...

This was actually yesterday and at this point I have somewhere between 50-100 cold approaches under my belt, at least. It may be a lot more but a very small percent of them amount to anything so it’s hard to gauge. Aaaannnyyyway, i was at the mall and i spotted two girls probably slightly younger than my self. They were a good distance ahead of me so I had to travel quite quickly in order to catch up with them. Once I was with in 1-2 yards got their attention by saying, “excuse me girls..” I put my hand on girl one should to establish myself next to them.

Girls 1: hey?
Me: hey I saw you and thought you cute so I wanted to come meet you.
At this point girl 2 looks somewhere between scared as hell and disgusted. Girl 1 is wearing an expression of distaste as wel her nose was scrunched up and her brows were furrowed as if she had tasted sour milk.
Me: I’m young
Girl one: okay
I was kinda catching the vibe hat this likely wasn’t going anywhere so I just tried to close to get out of there naturally but also hoping for the best. I don’t think I said anything that I’m leaving out but there’s a small chance of that.
Me: think I could get ur snapchat real quick I gotta leave soon.
Girl 1: No (while making a face that says “OMG LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE OR IM CALLING THE POLICE, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”
Me: Okay (whole kind of wearing a shocked expression on my face)

And with a slight blow to my ego from a terrible rejection off of the warm up approach, I left them to meet up with my friends in the mall. But wait, it gets worse. They happen to walk past me as I was standing against a wall on my phone whilst I was with my friends. Girl one either didn’t see or pretended to now see me, but girl 2, I KID YOU NOT, literally saw me, jumped in fear, pushed her friend, and ran away. Honestly kinda hurt, especially because they weren’t all that good looking, but I kinda just looked up like “Damn, those are some strange ass girls.”

Believe it or not, this isn’t the only time I’ve gotten responses like this. I remember another time right when I opened the girl just said “ Leave now!” She was also on be younger end of my age range. It definitely seems to coorelate in some way with age. Keep in mind, the these recent instances I’m referring to I was goin for a friendly, nice vibe. Could the issue be that I have to be more stoic? At the softball game I wasn’t as direct and she was on the older end of the spectrum, and I went for a similar vibe, but more sociable and cool, rather than friendly and nice I think.

So to sum it up about 20% of the time i send them running in fear, 75% of the time I get a pity or fake number. And the remaining 5% are more successful. Though the successful ones may have either been less direct than I’m recalling at the moment or all to older girls maybe.

But basically what I mean by goes down in flames is the target is now strongly un attracted to me doesn’t want to even give a number, shows blatant disrespect, or even expresses fear.

Hope this is enough for you to form an opinion!

Cheers,
Young

I'd say the Mall approach comes off as "gamey". The Girls are not in the mindset that is open to being approached and the quick stop while they are walking puts them on guard. Think of how you feel when a solicitor selling something wants to stop you to give you a sales pitch. You immediately get your guard up.

I'm betting girls in the mall have been "hunted hard" and are pretty jaded from bad approaches. I'd look for higher percentage opportunities, rather than trying to force something with girls who are not in a friendly mindset. Direct approach has worked best for me when women are in a social situation and they are open to being approached, like a party or at a group function at a bar or restaurant.

As for "moving stops" I'll do one if I get eye contact from afar and my smile returned. You have done enough cold approaches to get over the anxiety, now look for more high percentage opportunities.