The popularity contests never end and cool kids don't grow up.

I haven't posted in ages here but I wanted to share an realization I've had after going out a lot more, hitting the dating apps a lot harder and being a much better version of myself.

While there is a lot that needs to be done, life is hitting on many cylinders for me. I have a job I genuinely appreciate that pays well and a lot of access to women. After going out a great deal and increasing my social media following, I slowly started to notice a pattern emerge in the past few months.

Not only do these popularity contests never end when it comes to getting hot girls but the cool kids don't grow out of them, ever it would seem like.

The most popping clubs and the venues where the party is at are loaded with girls who were either on the cheerleading squad in high school or in a popularity sorority in college. About a week ago after arriving to a spot with my date who I have taken a few photographs of per her demand, I notice that she had a couple friends and one was a former sorority girl from Arizona St who moved out east. As soon as she saw me with my date, she started warming up to me and playfully flirting with me.

Its a complete 180 from the way I used to see it. Maybe at some point the high school cool kids and the college cool kids quickly get tired of it all and chase a family life but that is actually not as common, at least not in their 20s and maybe not after that either.

I have done some event bartending in the past couple weeks to get a feel for it before I try to do it on the side and lo and behold, who is it full of? Former sorority girls, former frat guys and that the kinds of douches who created the cliquish atmosphere that comes with college and high school.

Don't get me wrong either, I think my issue was location as I recently made good friends with this guy who was a frat boy at Ole Miss, cool dude and all.

Its enlightening for sure though the deeper you dig into the high life how aggressively the same status hungry people from college try to occupy it.

I genuinely disagree with this feel good nonsense, you have to understand what attracts quality and where you fit in there. This whole "being yourself" garbage is what has PUA guys looking like a bunch of weird misfits. Do not do this, find out who is cool and what is cool in your area and see where you fit in, thankfully I am in NYC where it is no issue.

Accept that you do what you do because you care about what others think but find that happy medium between completely selling out or being that weird loner cast that does not care.

Oh I hope you look back in 20 years and see how life changes.

See here is what happens...Peoples priorities about what is "Cool" changes. A lot of us who weren't cool in High school, were just more mature than our counterparts. We looked beyond the cliques. I've been to two HS reunions and those "cool" kids done peaked at 18. There is a COUPLE in a class of 400 who maintained an upward trajectory. One was my QB in HS. He moved to the city and pursued his career with an NBA team, starting in the ticket sales office. He pretty much left his dating life alone to work his ass off in the Organization. He could have been the "coolest guy in the sales office" but he looked beyond that....When that team won the Championship last year, he was the media director standing by the MVP of the game and everyone was vying for HIS attention. Took 25 years, but he has the pick of the litter when it comes to women.

By all means if you improve your social skills, then people WILl be attracted to you. Do a Dale Carnegie course, or whatever you need to do to see that you are worthy. It ain't feel good bullshit. You are chasing a social circle. Instead, screen one. There is a difference...

Oh but it will matter years from now, when it finally catches up to you that no matter what career success you have it is still lame compared to the social experiences you missed out on. At some point, you have to be honest with yourself and realize that like most men, you want hot women and to belong to quality social crowds just like women screen for that in men.

Oh Pry said:

Oh but it will matter years from now, when it finally catches up to you that no matter what career success you have it is still lame compared to the social experiences you missed out on. At some point, you have to be honest with yourself and realize that like most men, you want hot women and to belong to quality social crowds just like women screen for that in men.

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The majority of "social experiences that you missed out on" if you are referring to partying in college is blacking out on cheap beer and making an ass of one's self at an apartment party.

You can learn to hold your liquor on your own before you go out and have dinner at a restaurant with colleagues, or attend the social hour at the work conference. You learn to communicate effectively through interacting with people and seeing how they react to your posture, phrasing, eye contact. Learning to read other people's signals and react accordingly. Good social skills are learned from experience. Don't use someone else's standard of what is cool or lame, form your own Seratonin supply....

Fuck This said:

Oh Pry said:

Oh but it will matter years from now, when it finally catches up to you that no matter what career success you have it is still lame compared to the social experiences you missed out on. At some point, you have to be honest with yourself and realize that like most men, you want hot women and to belong to quality social crowds just like women screen for that in men.

Click to expand...

The majority of "social experiences that you missed out on" if you are referring to partying in college is blacking out on cheap beer and making an ass of one's self at an apartment party.

You can learn to hold your liquor on your own before you go out and have dinner at a restaurant with colleagues, or attend the social hour at the work conference. You learn to communicate effectively through interacting with people and seeing how they react to your posture, phrasing, eye contact. Learning to read other people's signals and react accordingly. Good social skills are learned from experience. Don't use someone else's standard of what is cool or lame, form your own Seratonin supply....

Click to expand...

Wrong.

Social experiences that were actually missed out on were making quality friends, being a part of large social circles, having a group to go out with on weekends, sharing memories with a collective group of people around your age, and having fun with that group while being in the same stage of life as them. It is a unique experience, you can get drunk anytime.

Wrong.

Social experiences that were actually missed out on were making quality friends, being a part of large social circles, having a group to go out with on weekends, sharing memories with a collective group of people around your age, and having fun with that group while being in the same stage of life as them. It is a unique experience, you can get drunk anytime.

Click to expand...

That's part of the attitude that is causing you miss out on these experiences. Live life with little regrets. No one is stopping you from being that person, maybe your perceptions and expectations limit you, but you must overcome that because it can be done. Hell I'm finally coming out of a 5 year detour in my life, and all I see potential ahead. Patience is key and you must continually remind yourself that you are actually doing what you want to do, in the most literal sense there is. Act in accordance with the person you want to be, and use your past experiences to execute it.

And let's be honest, high school really wasn't as great as you make it out to be. As an adult, you make your own choices, have financial freedom, and actually know how the world works. Life, like a fine wine, gets better with time-a fact of nature.

Once again, a lot of social opportunities also depend on the environment and others because you don't become social alone. Circumstances play a massive role here.