The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.



The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Oh Pry » Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:29 pm

As of right now, I am in a situation where every weekend I can have at least two dates and up to five if I wanted. Now the methods I get these days are by having an amazing online dating strategy which has led to me making the most out of my matches on Bumble, Hinge and to a lesser extent Tinder and through a photography hobby I picked up recently. By doing these alone, I am able to regularly get sex with women in the 6 and 7 range and occasionally a 7.5 or 8.

In many ways, the game is on easy mode for me, I don't have to work that hard to get laid.

I have enjoyed every weekend getting laid in the recent months and the sex has often been mind blowing as well. Even weekdays invite sex encounters from me and along with work and my hobbies, I am packed! I don't even get the chance to post on this forum as much anymore which kind of frustrates me because sometimes I miss that feeling of writing a lay report in vivid detail as thinking back to that night arouses me.

Here is the real major downfall, it has absolutely killed my drive to cold approach the women I really like. I almost feel myself getting complacent yet I can't do anything about it, its like I am spoiled and know it but don't have that drive to do anything about it.

It may seem like I am whining and showcasing the first world problems of game and meeting women, it may just be that but I am perplexed by this situation. I am stuck and I am comfortable, something I recognize the danger to but it is like I am in that spot to where I am just settling. The situation I am in has me scared because it is an easy situation but easiness stops growth. I feel like I have settled in and can grow no more, like I am in that situation to where I spend the remaining time I have left sleeping with the 6s, 7s and the occasional rare 8 that I cannot grow to a point where I get the 9s and maybe even a 10.

The sex is like sugar and almost a venom because it come so easy for me, its addictive because a lot of it is some amazing sex but I can't grow. I spend most of my week at work, part of it on my photography hobby, part of it trying to see if I can get some work with nightlife which at this point I wonder how the hell I am going to make time for it and the rest of it with dates and fucking.

Sex just eats up so much of your day. I commonly sleep with her for the night and then the next morning we are fucking some more, before I know it the clock has ticked hard and I am trying to make the most of my afternoon catching up with life, hobbies and preparing for the week. By then I am toast, getting ready for the workweek, I hardly have time for much else.

The fact that the sex is good is comfortable for me and I am in that situation where I can grow no more, nothing is pushing me to improve because I have settled in and sex is so addicting when it comes easy.

My journey started with cold approach and although it was a mixture of painful and fun, it helped me grow. I had experiences that I now look back on with happiness and even smiles. At times when I am asleep, I have dreams of some of those nights even back to my college days when I was a loner who had to rely on cold approach. I remember taking home that one French girl and having the night of my life with her back when I started out writing lay reports, cannot link for the life of me but here it is below

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=8452

I went shopping earlier and could feel the IOIs around me, the me of a year ago and the guy who wrote that lay report four years ago would have pounced on those IOIs. I would have tried to number close and go for the top tier girls I see out.

I remember back to the night in the lay report below when I pulled a hot blonde bombshell but now, I can't even imagine myself going through that many hurdles to make it a reality. Like thinking back to what I was able to do back then and almost crying tears of joy about it, wondering what that sexy blonde is up to these days....

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10191

And what about those "blonde bombshells" Oh Pry?

Now that's the thought that kills me, being in that situation where I used to go bananas of the idea of being with those kinds of women on the regular. Almost all of my lays this year and in recent years have been white women with dark/brown hair and exotic/tanned brunettes. Jewish and Italian American women seem to be my biggest customers with Eastern European women not that far behind, typically dark or brown hair with a light tan and exotic look. Throw in the occasional Latina, Middle Eastern or mixed race girl with that look and that is that.

I used to think that my tastes in women was changing, something I talked to Franco about, but I realized they are not. I realized that the reason I am not really going after my type, even though I feel confident I could pull them, is because I have grown accustomed to taking the easy way out. I am perfectly okay with fucking some slim sexy girl with dark curly hair because the sex, to my surprise, is really fucking good but its addicting too.

These women are literally begging for my cock sometimes and I love the sex even though I have a tough time grasping at them being my type, but my body doesn't care.

Its like I am in game limbo yet slightly better, its the ease of access to sex and the pleasure that comes from those deep arousing breaths you take as you are pounding the fuck out of her which has kept me chained to an above average life for myself, not the best.

I can't break out of this game limbo either because its like a battle between my mind and the goal it has, loosely hanging onto, versus the rest of my body which is just begging me to stick with where I am.......

Its like every week I am drinking a poison that tastes amazing but I know that in the long run, the dreams and goals I had of attaining the highest heights in the game just die slowly.
Number of lays since joining GC: 93

Thank you Chase and Franco!
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Chase » Fri Nov 09, 2018 6:45 am

Oh Pry-

Well, first off, well done getting your online dating strategy nailed down so well. That's no mean feat; lots of guys struggle to get online dating handled to that degree of success. You are competing against a lot of other men for those same women -- so clearly you are doing something right between both photos and messaging/contact strategy.

The "I'm so comfortable with all the lays I get that my motivation to push hard and cold approach is zero" is one pitfall shared by both online dating and friends-with-benefits. Once you get these working well enough, with okay-enough girls, it's hard to justify the expenditure of energy cold approach takes.

Here's a thing I have seen though: I have repeatedly seen guys go deep into online dating, who start to get this thing nagging at their minds like you have. Usually it progresses to the point where they get too annoyed at only shagging decent-enough girls via online, and they either go cold turkey or dial it way down and push themselves back into cold approach.

It sounds like you are at the beginning or middle of that frustration curve. There's not a lot you can do before you reach that "Screw it, I'm getting off online and back into real life!" moment. Guys on here can encourage you to cold approach... you can even say yourself you want to cold approach. But until you experience that internal motivation shift it's unlikely to happen.

Best recommendation for now is enjoy the online sex, and just keep it in mind that at some point you're likely to get fed up enough with it that you shelve online and get back to the real world (it seems like you are already moving in that direction).

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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Grand Pooba » Fri Nov 09, 2018 8:46 pm

Oh Pry wrote:Here is the real major downfall, it has absolutely killed my drive to cold approach the women I really like. I almost feel myself getting complacent yet I can't do anything about it, its like I am spoiled and know it but don't have that drive to do anything about it.


Yup, common problem - I've seen this with a LOT of guys. Usually the guys who kill it in online game also suck ass in cold approach/real life game.
I wrote about this here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/your ... -you-girls

Chase wrote:Well, first off, well done getting your online dating strategy nailed down so well. That's no mean feat; lots of guys struggle to get online dating handled to that degree of success. You are competing against a lot of other men for those same women -- so clearly you are doing something right between both photos and messaging/contact strategy.


100%! If this is a medium that works for what you want, then that's great! Kudos!
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Oh Pry » Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:58 pm

Chase.

I have been wanting to get back to you but haven't had as much time on my hands recently. I feel like once you master the art of photography and doing well on social media, success on online dating is almost a given. A lot of it comes down purely to the pics themselves, that is literally it. You have to understand that the photos are not just showing how handsome you are, they are telling a story about who you are. So when women look at a photo, they not looking just at facial features and the look but also the meaning behind the photo itself. The saying goes a picture is worth a thousand words so every photo about you tells a story in regards to what you are about.

A picture with a lot of friends that is high quality says you are a popular guy. A professional photo maxed out for style says you are a cool guy that can market himself well. Well done photos in the hip areas of a city say that you know all the cool spots. The trick is figuring out how to do it right and photography is most definitely an art that takes a lot of time to get right. It is not in the angles but also getting the photo to tell the story about you, taking it at the right time so you look the best in it and all of your expressions are genuine.

My goals are not aligned with just sex now as much as they are image and being a cool guy overall so that might have do to do with it.

Grand pooba.

I remember disagreeing with you about that post. Bro, 2019 is going to be the year for us brown men!
Number of lays since joining GC: 93

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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby ProblemSolving » Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:54 am

Good topic!

There was a time when the most popular dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and POF etc, were all free to use, so everyone was on equal footing. It was during this time that I could get laid with girlfriend quality girls with relative ease. "Online is amazing, bro!!" HOWEVER, as soon as these apps became monetized it became an absolute slog to have the same kind of success.

I finally deleted all my dating app profiles when cold approach started become more efficient than online. Truth be told, getting with 9's or 10's or whatever is always going to take considerable investment in time and energy, not because you don't measure up, but because you don't meet very many of them in your day to day life, so it takes time and energy just to find them. If you're getting laid with cute girls, you have what it takes to get with hot girls, it just boils down to the numbers at that point. If you asked out as many hot girls as cute ones, you would find that your rate of success isn't much different.

Getting with 9's online is an absolute fool's errand at this point in time. First, how many real "9's or 10's" are actually using the app? All the top apps now create fake profiles to draw more guys (paying customers) to their apps. You never really know who is real and who is a fake dummy account.

Now there are bound to be some accounts that are legitimate, but how do you stack up to that kind of competition? They literally have access to the top 10% of the guys in your city that includes professional athletes, buffed up doctors, lawyers, and other guys that are willing to pay for play. And best believe there are A LOT more of these guys than hot girls on these apps. The male population exceeds the female population by a landslide on all apps. Since you are competing against thousands of other guys it leaves very little profit margin.

You are much more likely to get with your 9 or 10 through cold approach because the market is a lot more favorable. The only problem is, like you said, regular sex is an absolute killer for your drive to get out of the house, search for hot women, and approach hot women. It really is a double edged sword. You will continue to do what you are currently doing until it frustrates you enough to make a change. I will say this, walking out in public and seeing an average looking dude with a girl that looks like your dream girl can help push you towards that change.
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Grand Pooba » Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:46 pm

Oh Pry wrote:I remember disagreeing with you about that post.


That's fine. But, I did mention in that article that one of the biggest problems with Tinder and online dating is that it kills your drive to cold approach and get super hot girls. Which is exactly what you're describing in this forum post, lol.

That being said man - killin' it!! Hats off to you :)

Oh Pry wrote:Bro, 2019 is going to be the year for us brown men!


I actually agree. Walking around NYC I've never gotten more IOIs in my life. On my side I'm completely off Tinder and anything online - so the only way I meet women now is to force myself to approach in the streets, subways, cafes and elevators of NYC.
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Grand Pooba » Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:48 pm

Chase wrote:Here's a thing I have seen though: I have repeatedly seen guys go deep into online dating, who start to get this thing nagging at their minds like you have. Usually it progresses to the point where they get too annoyed at only shagging decent-enough girls via online, and they either go cold turkey or dial it way down and push themselves back into cold approach.


This is exactly what happened to me - and it let to me quitting Tinder and online stuff completely late last year. Cold approach has been far more challenging but ironically it's more satisfying.
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Oh Pry » Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:32 pm

Well I have had a tough go at getting back into cold approaching, it is not easy at all and online dating is keeping me spoiled. Tinder has run its course for me but Bumble and Hinge are huge, Hinge especially is taking off in NYC in a big way. I am getting 6s and 7s mainly with the occasional match with an 8 thrown in. It is tough to really get back into cold approaching now.
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby mindful » Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:54 pm

Grand Pooba wrote:
Chase wrote:Here's a thing I have seen though: I have repeatedly seen guys go deep into online dating, who start to get this thing nagging at their minds like you have. Usually it progresses to the point where they get too annoyed at only shagging decent-enough girls via online, and they either go cold turkey or dial it way down and push themselves back into cold approach.


This is exactly what happened to me - and it let to me quitting Tinder and online stuff completely late last year. Cold approach has been far more challenging but ironically it's more satisfying.


I have reached this as well with online dating. However, I have accepted it's just how it goes with dating apps.

It has made me way more unapologetic and I put myself first more than I ever have. I also don't care if I lose a girl and minor things can do that where in the past it never would have.

I do enjoy the steady sex and have to replace girls in my rotation every once in a while.
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby mindful » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:17 pm

I also wanted to note 4 patterns i’ve gone through over the years via meetings girls with online dating:

1) date seems to be fine, invite girl home but she doesnt come back. Text her the next day or day after and she ghosts me or the texting doesn’t really go anywhere. I do sometimes see these girls again too.
2) date seems to be fine, invite the girl home and she accepts. Able to make out with her, maybe lick her tits but she won’t sleep with me. Most of the time I lose the girl after this but sometimes i do actually see the girl again (rarely).
3) Date seems to be fine, invite girl home and she accepts. We have sex that night and it either starts off the casual relationship or I don’t see her again (most of the time it starts the casual relationship)
4) Date is fine, but I can't really pull her that night (due to being out of town or the girl has a time constraint). Usually I still see the girl again for drinks, food, ice cream then back to her place or a private place to have sex.

This is the pattern I have found over my 4+ years with online dating apps. I have improved my game / social skills over this time as well but even to this day a girl can be 1-3. However, now that I do have enough data points from all ends of the spectrum I don’t get that bent out of shape when 1-2 happen.

For scenario 1, I determine that i’m just not the girls type after meeting in person. The conversation is still good, I touch her, maybe make light sexual innuendo, but she still won’t come home with me and mostly doesnt ever see me again. No big deal, this girl just wasn’t into me for whatever reason.

Scenario 2 is the one that frustrates me the most. I get the girl back to my place but she won’t sleep with me. I’ve had girls tell me different reasons:
a. Just got done with a fuck boy (doesn’t out right say that but i can infer)
b. is trying to dial back the sex on the first date stuff

And sometimes the girl just isn’t feeling it for whatever reason, maybe partly my fault maybe not.

Scenario 3 is the ideal one that we strive for here on girls chase. These are the girls that actually do like me and are down to fuck. I get minimum to know LMR and the process is quite smooth and natural.

Scenario 4 is usually when I am visiting other places or the girl has a time constraint. So on the next meetup or first, it has to be her place, my car, or a private spot (when out of town)

In order to have more #3s and less of #1s I am working more on my fitness this year. I have made great strides with adding muscle over the yrs but still have more a fit look as opposed to a muscular look. I know I look at guys differently who have muscle and regardless what a girl says, she wants a guy that is fit with some muscle for the added sexual appeal.

I know this will help with online dating apps too and updated pics.

Anyways, I am pretty happy where I am in this point of my life but still have a lot of room for improvements.
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby Oh Pry » Thu Feb 07, 2019 11:14 pm

Nice work Mindful
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Re: The major downfall of being in a situation where sex comes easy for you.

Postby ZacAdam » Sun Feb 17, 2019 5:17 pm

ProblemSolving wrote: that I could get laid with girlfriend quality girls with relative ease.


Boss, can help me clear on who is the demographics? age, ethnic, education, job, family, etc :) Thank you. Much appreciated

Zac
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