I whine on this forum because I have no idea on how to get my happy life.

I have been posting thread after thread after thread on this forum and I want to say I am bitter and depressed. In some situations I am doing well in life such as having a nice paying corporate job and being in good health but I am bitter because I am not a part of the life I want to live. I am almost heading in my late twenties soon and for the longest I can remember, I wanted to work as a bartender at a nightclub, club promoter and/or some major role in nightlife.

My current job pays me well and looks good on paper, it has some prestige attached to it especially given that I work for one of the top software companies on the planet, the pay is no joke but I am angry. I don't have fun coworkers, everyone is intelligent but not the kind of guy that you can talk to girls about and the couple guys I knew back in college and hated are now bartenders at some of the top bars in the city.

Its like I know that deep down the life that would make me fulfilled and happy is bartending at a nightclub in a major city and then at the same time I feel trapped by golden handcuffs in my current job. It takes care of my health, there are many benefits, I actually enjoy it but I hate that working in corporate and the tech world means not a lot of access to hot women.

Even if people propose stuff such as cold approach and online dating, which I have had success with, I am bitter that I am not in the same environment that has excluded me for so long, that party life with alcohol involved.

I realize it, I know why I am mad and I know what will make me happy but I am so frustrated that it seems so unattainable. I wish there was some sort of a guide or some kind of a path I could take to make my ideal life a reality but then there isn't.

Its like I have to throw away a life of a lot money, future wealth and a nice career in order to chase this very wish of mines and there is no other way to go about it. Then I feel as if I decide to stick with the path I am on now, I am robbing myself of fun nights with hot girls, fun experiences that can be had as a bartender and fun thrills that the party life provides. Soon I am going to be in my 30s and then I feel like it is going to be impossible to get a job at a nightclub and I envy the fuck out of the lucky kid who had it all handed to him due to rich parents that knew the club owner.

I have this goal that I have no way of knowing how to make happen.

Peach,

Honestly enough with the whiny posts. Perhaps this isn’t the right community for you. If you want to vent about this shit do it somewhere else. If you want to document the actions you’ve taken to achieve your goals you’re in the right place but you need to cut the whining out completely. It’s unproductive for you and us and it’s draining on the other members who’ve taken a lot of time to help you out, including me.

Time to shape up or gtfo.

Radeng

Not having seen the history I can't comment on that, but on this particular post there are some contradictions.

You're actually complaining that you have a nice stable job and income, well let me tell you that access to girls who look good and take care of themselves requires you to do the same, and that requires money, either money for things like gym fees and fashionable shoes, watch, shirts etc, or at the very least money so that you can eat while your time and attention goes into things like the gym or cold approach. As a highly skilled programmer without the income security that you have (though this is partly due to my choices to work on creative projects rather than money paying projects), I can say that being sexy is really difficult when you are poor.

The grass is always greener and hey, we weren't all part of the in-group when we were at college... I know I certainly wasn't. BUT: success is creating your own in-groups, one of the best things I did was to cast out all those people who believed themselves cooler than I, and instead to hang out with people of more humble attitudes, who were happy to accept leadership and much more loyal. This is basically how the world looks when you are one of those bartenders that you mention. There are people around you who may seem not totally cool but are solid and dependable. Your job is to lead those people and make awesome things happen.

If you are so keen to drop your comfortable life and go and do work that is totally beneath you because it has the "cool" factor, then, go and do it, but you know in your heart that it is beneath you, so you're really just whingeing that you can't have your cake and eat it too. I get that you want to expand your comfort zone outside of the work that has become stultifying to you, and that's an admirable goal. So perhaps adopt some goals which would be more commensurate with your ability level and knowledge, e.g. starting a company, or if you are really keen to start off in a new direction what about adopting something like, acting, or gymnastics / body building, or learning a musical instrument or to sing, or getting into fashion: start a fashion blog, become a designer, etc. Girls like all of these things.

cheers, Ray

It really amazes me sometimes that some people whine about things that they have the ability to fix, but for some reason are not able to use some critical thinking and/or common sense to obtain it. It also tells me that these type of people have not really gone through much hardships in life. Trust me, you're in a much better position than a lot of guys your age and even older with the opportunity to go after what you want.

You have a lot going for you as you already know, but if you are dead set on getting into the club party lifestyle, then you have other options besides becoming a bartender like the following:

1) Become a regular at certain bars/clubs and befriend employees and other regulars there. You can befriend bartenders, male or female, as well possibly the owner.
2) Try befriending some DJs that are regulars at those clubs or just try to befriend DJs in general and go out to those clubs on the nights they're working there. You may even get some invites once you're friends with them.
3) Become a promoter of the club(s) that you like. One of my sister's ex bf's was once a promoter of a well known club in the city I live in and he leveraged that to meet tons of females as well as males with connections heavily into the club scene.
4) Work as a bartender part-time during the week if you really want to see how the bartender lifestyle is like.

As you can see, you don't have to completely throw away your current cushy job/career. Now all you have to do and consider these options or others that you can think of and simply make the commitment to try it out and see how you like it. You never know, you may end up finding out that you really don't like it at all, but you have the opportunity to find out without burning all of your bridges which would be pure stupidity imo.

But like ray_zorse said, there's so many other ways to meet women besides from the clubbing lifestyle. If you do decide to pursue one of the options I outlined above, you have yhe money to do so comfortably, so it's up to you to decide.

how is this fair dude, i am resentful towards you. theres guys who are working their fucking asses off around here who would kill to get the amount of attention that you've been getting from the big dogs. you got them giving you amazing advice, but you don't even listen to them. its deeply insulting to me. you dont even deserve it dude, seriously. you're not even willing to improve.

there was this member called altair who was exactly the same as you. same thought patterns, same whiny posts...he got banned, and you will too soon if u dont shape up real quick