- Joined
- Sep 9, 2013
- Messages
- 311
So this is pretty complicated. I'm saying beforehand most of you AREN'T going to believe me, but it's happening.
I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia 3 years ago, took meds, coped. But it's not a medical condition. I knew it then, I know it now.
Basically I hear voices. It's some kind of sorcery or occult (if you're laughing or think I'm crazy, I understand, but apparently it's somewhat common is Southeast Asia).
They insult me for being a lower social class or race. Threatening voices, raised voices. My friends, parents, teachers speak in double meaning ways which I recognise as being influenced by some force outside of themselves. I can't trust my own parents. Sometimes think they'll possess them and my parents will kill me with their own hands. When I walk on the streets the people around me look at me, threaten or mock indirectly.
These are all medically considered as Schizophrenia. Now, bear with me why it's not.
I've had my bank account passwords changed, Facebook hacked from a city IP I knew one of them went to, automatic calling from my phone, mom calling to my phone when she wasn't even touching her phone, credit card used in an unauthorised way, dad laughing at me when I got freaked out by him and tried choking him. It's weird stuff.
I'm keeping my headphones on almost all the time to cope since last 2 days. To avoid the voices that make me uneasy, sometimes downright scared. I don't look at other people.
Basically, I have nobody who can help. I know who they are but even if I tell someone I think they'll easily possess them and turn them against me. I sometimes think of killing them somehow. But I think they're too powerful. Even if magically I succeed, I don't want jail time, a murderer tag, or the weight of killing someone.
Any advice? I just want these weird strange things to be over but they haven't stopped since 3 years. I don't want to die.
I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia 3 years ago, took meds, coped. But it's not a medical condition. I knew it then, I know it now.
Basically I hear voices. It's some kind of sorcery or occult (if you're laughing or think I'm crazy, I understand, but apparently it's somewhat common is Southeast Asia).
They insult me for being a lower social class or race. Threatening voices, raised voices. My friends, parents, teachers speak in double meaning ways which I recognise as being influenced by some force outside of themselves. I can't trust my own parents. Sometimes think they'll possess them and my parents will kill me with their own hands. When I walk on the streets the people around me look at me, threaten or mock indirectly.
These are all medically considered as Schizophrenia. Now, bear with me why it's not.
I've had my bank account passwords changed, Facebook hacked from a city IP I knew one of them went to, automatic calling from my phone, mom calling to my phone when she wasn't even touching her phone, credit card used in an unauthorised way, dad laughing at me when I got freaked out by him and tried choking him. It's weird stuff.
I'm keeping my headphones on almost all the time to cope since last 2 days. To avoid the voices that make me uneasy, sometimes downright scared. I don't look at other people.
Basically, I have nobody who can help. I know who they are but even if I tell someone I think they'll easily possess them and turn them against me. I sometimes think of killing them somehow. But I think they're too powerful. Even if magically I succeed, I don't want jail time, a murderer tag, or the weight of killing someone.
Any advice? I just want these weird strange things to be over but they haven't stopped since 3 years. I don't want to die.