How do you become well known in a large social circle such as highschool?

Start_ed_young

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 1, 2017
Messages
106
Not starting from square one here... but since moving up to highschool from junior high, it seems the majority of my rep has been diluted. I’m still at very least loosely friends with everybody popular in my grade, but the older ones may not know of me as-well. At least that’s the vibe I’m getting.

Mainly, it seems the highest form of value at this point is to have the popular seniors adore you... I have friends who are friends with these people, yet I have no classes with any of them and idk just never seem to be in the right place right time. I think there are parties that are open invite on the occasional weekend, should I go to one of these and try to warm up to ‘em.

I suppose social media presence would be a valid route to take, but idk the first thing about how to have an interesting Instagram account that gains a lot of followers. How to get pictures, what to do, where to go.... honestly I really need to develop my life-style and social circle, and that should be a lot easier now that I’m 16. I have pretty good fundamentals at this point and am allied with people of importance in my grade level, and some in junior year, but not really any in the senior class.

Also how do you at invited out to stuff? People will come to stuff if I were to invite them and my people that I consider a little closer than the rest invited me to stuff before, but they are currently all very busy bc our priorities are far different.

How necessary is conformity in a social circle?

For example, I don’t drink or do drugs, and that’s a large part of what the “cool” people talk about and do when they are out. Probably a main reason if not the only reason I don’t get invited to stuff often. To be part of the proper crowd... do you need to partake in the same activities as them?

For example: a new hot girl joins your work or school or whatever. It takes her a little while to establish herself, but once she finds friends... it’s with the drunks and stoners. You don’t like to drink or smoke so you never really got close with the group she is currently hanging with, is it ness scary to be close with her group, or not? Also this leads to the question of how important is it to have her friends approval? And finally, Do you need to have a group you hang out with outside of school to have value?
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,576
Hey man, I have the feeling that you are looking for value from external sources. I would train my fundamentals rigourously if I were you, because true value cannot be denied. It's like in the MMA gym, you can be a loner but if you are the toughest mutherfucker around (while also being warm and humble), you will notice people gravitating to you and aligning themselves with you. Also, perhaps, since you mention the drugusers as taking away attention, maybe you should become a little more edgy and be less vanilla. Don't worry about the drugusers they will burn out when they are already 22/23, they are not true competition even if it seems like it. Also you can get great confidence, which people will pick up, on by working on your alternatives. This means less social circle. Meanwhile, do not look down at the people who already wish to align with you, don't deny investment from people who already like you. This is a common pitfall of people who want to be popular.

Start cold approaching, trust me this is really important. You need to know that abundance is possible and that only focusing on your peer groups in high school is quite limiting! Also start training. Mix cardio like swimming, kickboxing or something else with a little bodybuilding. Start wearing cool clotches, not expensive, but cool clothes. You are going for scrapes at the moment, while you can get the top pickings. Don't be lazy about it, stay hungry.

Good Luck
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
Every person I know who has been in a good financial and social position as an adult struggled in high school. It is almost a rite of passage.

Look farther ahead like driving. (Caution Metaphor ahead) If you watch close you will be swerving all over...put your focus on the horizon and drive straight.....

HS is 4 years

College is 4-8 years

Post school is 30-50+ years. Those are the times, and the people you are going to be dealing with for the rest of your life.

I had SOOOO many women at my 20th reunion coming up to me that wouldn't give me the time of day in school, it was ridiculous...And according to trusted sources I was "cute" in High school. Those popular guys in HS....They did not stay on that trajectory....they couldn't sustain it. Who did keep on a path of increasing popularity? 1)Leaders, 2) smart students 3) NICE people in school.

Don't limit yourself to one social group. Make it so when they read your name in the Who's Who sectioon of he News on line, they say "I wentr to school with him. He was always cool to me and really down to earth..."
 
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