Getting Deleted on Tinder

J

Jack123Frost

Guest
Hey guys,

Is there any particular reason why women delete men on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge? I've had a few matches recently where the flirting is going well, but I randomly get deleted. I had a mojito-making date scheduled for Monday (we both agreed it was mojito season!), but I asked for her number, then got deleted the next day without a reply.

Similarly, I had conversation on Hinge with an attractive milf that went like this:

Me: "Can you teach me how to do this?" (referring to a photo of her doing an intense yoga pose).
Her: "ooh, you're only 21, I'm sure I can teach you lots of things! hmmm..."
Me: "Well, young men like me do need mentors, and you seem like you'd be a great one!"

Then, a few hours later, I got deleted.
I'm sure there are multiple reasons for getting deleted, and perhaps I'll never know. But I'm trying to see if there is any preventative measure I can take, or anything I could have done differently. Any Ideas? Thanks!

-J
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Hey Jack,

It's probably on a case by case basis, so we would need to see more specific descriptions. . But in the example you describe:

Jack123Frost said:
Me: "Can you teach me how to do this?" (referring to a photo of her doing an intense yoga pose).
Her: "ooh, you're only 21, I'm sure I can teach you lots of things! hmmm..."
Me: "Well, young men like me do need mentors, and you seem like you'd be a great one!"
she is clearly making a sexual innuendo "I can teach you lots of things". She is giving you the opportunity to sexualize the conversation, but instead of rushing in, you give a sort of neutral answer that she probably interpreted as "he doesn't get it". "Does not get it" when she's being as overtly sexual as possible, is a very likely cause for unmatch.

Also, "you'd be a great one" sounds like you're putting her on a pedestal which is to be avoided at all times. The frame you want to have is the opposite, where *you* are on the pedestal (= you have status).

In the context of a chat, where you have time to read the messages and think about what is really being said, you should take your time. If your intuition tells you that there is a sexual hint, it means that there probably is one. If a woman hints at sex, you absolutely should communicate that you got her message. Let me suggest, for example:

Her: "ooh, you're only 21, I'm sure I can teach you lots of things! hmmm..."
You: Haha yeah (wink wink). I can already think of a couple questions...
Her: Like?
You: I'll tell you when we meet ;-) what are you doing tomorrow evening?

At least you show her that you got her hint.

Seppuku
 
J

Jack123Frost

Guest
Seppuku,

Thanks for your reply! I'll incorporate what you said in the future.

-J
 

strictlyincreasing

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 24, 2017
Messages
67
If you're getting deleted on these apps and you didn't send an odd message, it's almost always because your photos, height and age are not what she is looking for. Look around; fundamentals are everything. On Tinder, those are your fundamentals. You might also get deleted if you ask her out on a date before she's warm enough. You only get one chance to ask her out on an app. You have to ask at the right moment in the chat. If she's too cold, she'll delete you after you ask.

What Seppuku says also applies. Note that you put her in a difficult situation by not giving her a question to answer. If it's too much effort for her to reply to your message then bam - unmatch.
 
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