Can't stop thinking about her

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Hey guys,
In Chase's article "Can't stop thinking about her", Chase did not mention how to get over a girl who you see everyday. I mean how can you get over a girl who meets you everyday, especially when the place she meets you is confined to a small environment with few people. How does one get over a person whom you have to meet and work with everyday?
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
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pks391,

The article does cover this. You need to go out and meet more women.

Even if you see this girl every day, she becomes a mere afterthought if you're constantly sleeping with new women at a regular rate. Eventually, you also come across women are high caliber, and they remind you that there is more than one girl on this planet who can satisfy you.

- Franco
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
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Though great advices and best solutions are mentioned above, it is not easy for many guys.

I remember when I was thinking about a girl I was working with, I could care less about any other girls because I felt that great emotional attachment (perhaps love). There was a situation a girl was pulling off my pants and trying to give me a BJ, she alrady had my dick in her mouth but I simply pushed her away as I couldn't stop thinking about the other girl. You could laugh but it is also a reality.

So it is very tough, and it of course depends on how sensitive the guy is.

I would recommend:

1. Follow the advice above, it's definitelly #1
2. Try not to think about her, keep busy, go lift weights of whatever. Don't think about her before you go sleep, avoid imagining being with her
3. Monitor the level of emotional attachment to her (this will help you in the future); Once you recognize the 'emotional bond', see if you can develop emotional coldness
4. Play a Nice Guy at work. Smile at her nicely, give her puppy eyes, become a friend with her.... Don't worry, she'll be out of your sight in no time, she'll be avoiding you for months
5. Practice discipline of not letting yourself fall in love
6. List everything that you do for her (e.g. constantly thinking about her), and list what she does for you (hopefully NOTHING, LOL)
7. Learn from this experience. The greatest thing you can learn about is the emotional attachment (love), those feelings you have for her. Observe how you create those feelings by constantly thinking about her and imagining things with her. Observe the level of anxiety or shyness while around her or talking to her (assuming that you are shy). Get consciously rejected, another great thing to learn. Simply wait till the attraction expires and then ask her out. You know that she will not go, you may feel some pain but for the purpose of practicing even pain is your great friend.

Simply take it as a great opportunity to learn, don't waste anything, including rejection...

PS My personal solution is to go to a strip bar, it works great, LOL, but whatever
 

Jaimie Richards

Space Monkey
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I agree with everything said thus far, but I'd like to add something to this great quote:

Drck said:
2. Try not to think about her, keep busy, go lift weights of whatever. Don't think about her before you go sleep, avoid imagining being with her

Don't try not to think about her, just think about everything else. At least in my case, if something bothers me (stuff connected with chicks included), then if I try not to think about it, it makes me to think about it even more... Just because I think about not thinking about a given topic.

Therefore, make yourself concentrate on many different things so you're busy (like DRCK's said) so you don't think about her at the same exact time. Don't do "I don't want to think about her", because you will STILL be thinking about her (not per se, but still). Do think about other stuff.

Example from life to make it less muddy: if I want to fall asleep, I won't achieve it if I think about it. If I just lay in bed and think about something not exciting and different from sleeping, then I will fall asleep soon.

- J.
 

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Drck said:
Though great advices and best solutions are mentioned above, it is not easy for many guys.

I remember when I was thinking about a girl I was working with, I could care less about any other girls because I felt that great emotional attachment (perhaps love). There was a situation a girl was pulling off my pants and trying to give me a BJ, she alrady had my dick in her mouth but I simply pushed her away as I couldn't stop thinking about the other girl. You could laugh but it is also a reality.

So it is very tough, and it of course depends on how sensitive the guy is.

I would recommend:

1. Follow the advice above, it's definitelly #1
2. Try not to think about her, keep busy, go lift weights of whatever. Don't think about her before you go sleep, avoid imagining being with her
3. Monitor the level of emotional attachment to her (this will help you in the future); Once you recognize the 'emotional bond', see if you can develop emotional coldness
4. Play a Nice Guy at work. Smile at her nicely, give her puppy eyes, become a friend with her.... Don't worry, she'll be out of your sight in no time, she'll be avoiding you for months
5. Practice discipline of not letting yourself fall in love
6. List everything that you do for her (e.g. constantly thinking about her), and list what she does for you (hopefully NOTHING, LOL)
7. Learn from this experience. The greatest thing you can learn about is the emotional attachment (love), those feelings you have for her. Observe how you create those feelings by constantly thinking about her and imagining things with her. Observe the level of anxiety or shyness while around her or talking to her (assuming that you are shy). Get consciously rejected, another great thing to learn. Simply wait till the attraction expires and then ask her out. You know that she will not go, you may feel some pain but for the purpose of practicing even pain is your great friend.

Simply take it as a great opportunity to learn, don't waste anything, including rejection...

PS My personal solution is to go to a strip bar, it works great, LOL, but whatever
Thanks Drck,
Yea its something like this but its not as strong as it was for you and i totally understand whats happening with my mind and emotions.
You are absolutely spot on. I did all those things to get a learning experience but somehow still i am unable to get closure toward it all.
 

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Thanks for the advic Franco, Drexel and Jaimie. I'll try to follow it. Thing is i live in India so its a bit tricky to get laid here unless you pay for it.
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
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IMO there is no closure or need for it... Suffer, swallow it, man the fuck up...
 

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Mumbai, India
Drck said:
IMO there is no closure or need for it... Suffer, swallow it, man the fuck up...
Thats exactly what I'm trying to achieve right now, hence the post
 

mindful

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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256
Great timing on this post as I am going through the exact same thing right now. I've had these feelings before... one time in college with a different girl. It's hard not to stop thinking about her and doing other things to take my mind off her. I am more on the sensitive side myself so I understand that meeting other girls is the way to go (and I still do) but the emotionally attachment and bond I had with this girl is what I miss the most. I still wonder, "what is she doing right now?" and different things that just leave a pit in my stomach.

Really the only thing that helps in my experience is just time. Eventually you just stop caring or thinking about her after a while, she gradually slips away from your memory and the strong feelings dissipate. This happens at different rates depending on the person.

That girl from college? I recently looked at her instagram account and guess what? I felt NOTHING. I was happy to see her displaying her life and also with her boyfriend. Feelings do strange things to a person, make you act irrationally.
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
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Agree with mindful. One day you'll look up the girl and you'll be grabbing your head, not even understanding "why"... It's just all in your (our) head(s), it's the imagination and constant thinking about the girl that makes us so attached...
 
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