Leading and dominance

Danny

Space Monkey
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Hey guys, I wanted to ask how do you actually lead during sex. I know you like proceed sex in your way but what do you do if she resists the certain leadership and is there more nuance to being a leader? The same with dominance is it certain actions like holding her down or like a mindset?
 

WayOfHand

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 12, 2015
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Just as any interaction. Amp up slowly and gauge reactions. Two steps forward, one step back. Once you've set certain dominant frame from the beginning of the relationship, its quite easy to keep up. Don't take any bullshit, you are the man after all. Still always try to gauge her feelings. Don't be too serious, playfulnes can work wonders with leadership making it easier to submit.

You learn it by doing. Some girls let you go faster and further than others. Hard to give any specifics as every girl is unique. And dominance is definitely a mindset. There are some moves that often express that dominance and the path works on both ways. If you don't feel yourself very dominant, but would like to be, try acting dominant and you notice yourself becoming that also as a mindset. Here's nice article about dominance as a mindset. Sorry if this answer was very broad but your question was also very open and is largely covered on the main site...

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... ner-effect
 

Danny

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Thanks this was a very helpful answer haha. The only additional question would be if you have an example of leading during sex. Like if you start sex in missionary with the girl do you just command turn over(for doggy)and if she says no then what?, keep missionary and then try to change positions again? This is kind of like the issue I'm dealing with. How do I lead in this way? I never ask permission or anything I'm just like move here ,or turn over, climb on top. Is this all leadership? And if she resists how do I go back one step in the two step one step model?


Thanks so much
 

WayOfHand

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Hey man, glad to be of help. To your question. I enjoy having extensive foreplay, so usually the girl is so turned on when we get on with sex that she will do anything "vanilla" that I wan't. Also I'm relatively dominant outside the bed and nowadays get girls often tell me that I'm quite aggressive or dominant while in bed. My go to answer there is "And you love it". If I'm changing positions I'm just giving orders to the girl as you said.

There is also difference in what tone she resists you. If she is enjoying the sex there is only really one reason for her to resist you (if sex is otherwise safe). She wants to feel your masculine essence. Women love to be dominated. She tests your core by pushing you a little, hoping you will push through her resistance. This is not done by using violence or extensive physical dominance! There might be many ways to address this but I love being playfully dominant. Something along the lines of:

You: Turn around on your knees and bend over.
Her: No
You: (playfully with a little smirk) Is my little girl being naughty? Naughty girls need to be punished.
Her: I'm like a little angel
You: I bet you are. I think you have been very - very naughty. Now lay on my lap for your punishment. (strong eyecontact, patting my lap)
Her: Nooo I'm nice
You: (Just stare and pat. She will bend and things flow on)

It all needs to be congruent. If it doesn't feel good to you start out small. After starting to dominate one or two girls, you really reallise how much girls love it. After this its very natural and easy to act dominant in future interactions.

Also if she really resists some advance of yours that seriously undermines your dominance, do NOT reward it. You can persist only till certain point after which things will start to backtrack. If it won't work, remove all attention. Women love attention. If you take the attention away, by say, starting to sleep or just leaving to do something else (without saying a thing), she will start chasing and get horny after a while. Hope this helps. Peace.
 

Danny

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ResentMasculinity,

I know how you feel haha, its pretty frustrating, but women mate choices always carry a risk of pregnacy which could lead to death, so I understand the tradeoff necessary, but atleast we guys have the ability to be go out self-improve and better ourselves with women where as women can kind of do the same thing but they are affected more by environment
 

ResentMasculinity

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Danny said:
ResentMasculinity,

I know how you feel haha, its pretty frustrating, but women mate choices always carry a risk of pregnacy which could lead to death, so I understand the tradeoff necessary, but atleast we guys have the ability to be go out self-improve and better ourselves with women where as women can kind of do the same thing but they are affected more by environment

ya that makes sense, i'm guessing women being passive and not approaching, refusing to initiate, is their evolutionary way of not risking sex so easily because sex has always played a much bigger risk for women than for men obviously
 

Danny

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Exactly, so it's sucks sometimes but that's life just got get good and beat the system
 

ResentMasculinity

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Danny said:
Exactly, so it's sucks sometimes but that's life just got get good and beat the system

yup agreed, it has bothered me for a while due to how passive women are, women almost never initiate with guys but we have no choice but to live with it.
 

ResentMasculinity

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what I also don't like about it is that people say it gives guys control, but if guys truly were the ones in control, then women wouldn't be in position to accept or decline.
 

Big Daddy

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Danny said:
Hey guys, I wanted to ask how do you actually lead during sex.

If you are asking how to behave when the D is already in, I would recommend sorting porn websites with the highest rated amateur porn videos first and take some notes. From time to time I look for it to see if I find something I dig.

As with everything else in this website, I think it's extremely powerful to see a women dying of pleasure when some other dude does something you thought it would be "lame" or "too aggressive" or what have you. Really breaks some barriers.
 

lostnumber

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Most women instinctively love being physically dominated by a powerful man. I don't think I've ever pinned a girls arm behind her back or thrown her around and had her hate it. I've found that verbal/emotional dominance can be more hit or miss and you often need to build up to it or actually talk about it beforehand to establish what is ok and what isn't.

If you want a girl to switch positions and she is giving you lip during the deed my general advice would be to physically make her. Many women are resistant to being verbally lead but very few will resent you for taking the lead with your body, and frankly if you are a strong man and want them to move somewhere else there isn't going to be much they can do to stop you from making it happen. I've had girls try to wrestle with me to prevent a changing of position and they inevitably end up even more turned on when I have them pinned down and exactly where I want them

Note that if a girl really FREAKS out and doesn't want you doing something you should absolutely stop. But I wouldn't lose your cool and give up just because she puts up a little bit of initial resistance
 

ResentMasculinity

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I guess a metaphor for being dominant in terms of taking what you want, is think of King Kong on how he just grabs the blonde girl without her permission, kinda doing it by force.
 
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