Learning About Sex

bilbobaggins

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Apr 24, 2016
Messages
1
I am experiencing something perhaps not so peculiar but I felt the need to ask for advice considering my circumstances.

I have not had sex for 4 years+ until recently. I have been sleeping with a woman who agreed to teach me about sex and I have been progressing rapidly - faster than either of us have expected. However, she says there is one fellow is significantly better than me.

No problem, initially. It is as expected. People with more practice will be better and she has already experessed that I've in a couple times of having sex improved past everyone else she's had relations with except this one fellow.

Recently, however, she's been telling me how he possesses a phallus bigger than mine (I'm out of shape so I'm not optimal I guess is the right word); he's better at me at sex: all in the guise of helping me become better, right? Only it doesn't feel that way. Today she said she hasn't been horny recently while Facetiming me (she called me) and then lied and said she doesn't know why. I told her I knew she was lying and that I did not appreciate her not just saying it's because she saw him recently. She persisted. Afterwards she texted me the truth - which was obvious.

She keeps rubbing this in and I don't know what to do besides just get better and better at sex (she says the main thing is that I'm not as sensual as him?)

Unfornately, also and I don't understand why, a part of myself feels upset about this.

It feels like she's trying to intentionally hurt me while I've just been trying to get better.

Will you guys give me some much needed advice to get through this as I attempt to become a better and more mature lover and man?

Thanks a lot. I feel terrible right now..
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,986
Location
Australia
The problem is you've subjugated your ego to this woman, that's not how it's supposed to work in nature, I mean the male lion or gorilla wouldn't act this way right? The way he sees it, the females belong to him basically, they have to submit to him while he gets to pick and choose... the situation you've described is the opposite, she gets to pick and choose between her ex and you, and is probably screwing both of you while you submit to her. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Without getting into evolutionary psych arguments it is well known that the primitive brain in humans shares a high percentage of its wiring, layout, responses etc with that of gorillas/chimpanzees etc and really all mammals including lions. That's what controls your primitive instincts such as your fight/flight response, your mating instinct including sexual attraction at a primitive rather than conscious level.

What we teach here is that women want to submit to you, you have to dominate them to keep them sexually attracted. This doesn't necessarily mean physically dominate, you can be dominant by using least-effort and by staying a step ahead of her emotions. Women will try to dominate you (which is what yours is doing by trying to fuck with your sexual confidence and manipulate you and make you jealous). This is part of assessing your mate value, if you let her then she quickly loses attraction, begins to treat you like dirt and soon won't have sex with you anymore. She may throw a few tidbits to keep you docile if you continue to have other value to her though. Sigh.

I'd say it's too late with this one, she has expended her usefulness to you, she has apparently taught you a few techniques in bed which is good, but she has also done you a bad turn by teaching/encouraging submission which is something you have to unlearn. As a rule you should completely ignore any dating advice or sex tips from women since what they believe they want is diametrically opposed to what they really want, so if they get it they lose interest quickly.

Ray
 
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